March 10, 2006
A new batch of shots from the new Bond, Casino Royale, have been released here, including more of Daniel Craig as Bond, Judi Dench as M, and the one we've all been clamoring for: a woman in a bikini petting a horse (seriously).
Until these shots, I hadn't realized what a cretin Daniel Craig was. This is James Bond? Between his simian little ears, the low-hanging brow, and dumbfounded look, he looks genuinely de-evolved. The only way he can work in a Bond movie is if they make it in prehistoric caveman times with a Cro-Magnon Bond. And the best part still wouldn't be him, but when Q pulls out one of his amazing gadgets, and it's just fire, or a club, or a stone sharpened into a cutting tool, and we all laugh, because cavemen are stupid.
After a big announcement, the trailer for Pixar's Cars has made its way online. I hadn't read a synopsis yet , so I'd been assuming from the racing footage I'd seen that it was about some race cars competing in a circuit, or something along those lines. It turns out it's about a big-city hot shot car having an accident in a country town, where he initially hates the small town mentality, but eventually questions his face-paced lifestyle when he falls for a beautiful, female resident.
Guess what Pixar? You made Doc Hollywood! That's right, the company that just yesterday I was praising for raising the bar for children's animation has now remade the semi-successful 1991 Michael J. Fox comedy, Doc Hollywood. And to think, I was worried about the footage I'd seen of Cars. If it's a "D.H." caliber movie, we should have nothing to worry about.
Some old footage of members of Monty Python doing an interview for a PBS affiliate has turned up after having been saved by an engineer for the studio, though a portion has now been taped over. Nothing amazing is revealed, but it's neat to see the boys in their prime, speaking on censorship, the origin of their name, and some other topics. The video lasts only about fourteen minutes and has been missing for over thirty years. "Sounds like your father," my mother whispered, then began sobbing into a pillow. I guess she was joking; my father has only been missing for twenty years.
Also, keep an eye out for the woman in the background who realizes how stupid she looks in the hat a couple minutes in, then start hamming it up. I'm looking to punch her.
During the filming of Nacho Libre, Jack Black recorded a video diary that Quicktime is now releasing in short sections, two a week. In preparation, here's the teaser for the diaries. Normally I wouldn't get too excited about a preview for a video diary--sort of a supplement for a supplement--but this one's got Jack Black having his chest waxed. Up until now, all I've had is a picture of Jack Black's head pasted on the body of some other guy (he's Indian and possibly a dwarf) having his chest waxed, so you can see how this is a big upgrade for me. Now if someone would only get me a shot of Tony Danza shaving his legs, the collection would be complete.
Comingsoon.net got ahold of another new Silent Hill picture. When I first saw the image, my reaction was, "Sweet God, more Silent Hill freaks!" But as I looked more, it changed to, "Actually, maybe these guys aren't so bad. They might not be such freaks under the goggles and stuff." After that, I went through a few minutes of thinking, "The chasm that is their eyes goes deeper than any human soul could," followed by, "I can hear them whispering," then, "I think I took too many pills." Then I woke up in a tree, naked, save for some leaves and a dog I was wearing as a coat.
The full trailer for Dreamworks Animation's Over the Hedge is up at Yahoo! Movies, and it looks to be sort of a children's comedy with a message. In the same way Bambi said, "Hey, stop shooting deer mothers," Over the Hedge says, "Hey, stop building suburbs, rich white people." And, like Bambi, it looks boring. It's probably decent for kids, but in recent years Pixar has really raised the bar for children's animation, and this film doesn't look at all smart or interesting. It's particularly disappointing because they're wasting a great cast. With talent like Steve Carell, Garry Shandling, Bruce Willis and William Shatner, they could have done so much more. Like have them sit in a circle, shirtless, reading Garfield comics aloud to the camera. That would have probably been better than this.