Taylor Lautner No Longer Stretchable Toy Man

January 30, 2012

abduction-trailer-2.jpg

Hasbro and Universal once stood together in making a Stretch Armstrong movie, each taking a rubbery hand in their own and walking forward with the project. But in the years since the project last made progress, the two have been slowly parting ways--Universal recently put off adaptations of Ouija, Clue, Monopoly and Magic: The Gathering--and with each still firmly grasping one of Stretch Armstrong's flaccid limbs, the project has at last torn apart, oozing out its inner goo. And that goo's name is Taylor Lautner.

Lautner, who was once signed to shirtlessly star as the title character in a Stretch Armstrong film, is now reportedly no longer attached to the project. That's because Universal and Hasbro are no longer pairing for the film; the toy company has now moved it over to Relativity Media, where the first order of business was to utterly dissociate the film with any star of Abduction. So, sorry, Taylor Lautner, but you don't get to tell the story of a stretchy, tan semi-humanoid. BUT AT LEAST THE STORY WILL BE TOLD.

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