George Lucas Supposedly Done with Blockbusters, Except Maybe Another Indiana Jones or Whatever

January 17, 2012


George Lucas has heard our complaints, and he is sick of it. He's had it, and he is going to make some new, black friends who won't shout mean things at him, and he is going home to work on some personal shit that [probably] won't even have any hilarious CGI comic reliefs.

Claiming, with some caveats, "I'm retiring," George Lucas told The New York Times he is "moving away from the business, from the company, from all this kind of stuff," speaking of the wild, wild life of constantly amending Harrison Ford adventures. It seems the business of constantly revising, re-packaging and re-selling Star Wars films has grown heavy upon the dense neck of Lucas, and he's sick of "when everybody yells at you all the time and says what a terrible person you are."

So, tired of everyone screaming for him to not turn his landmark piece of special effects work into a showpiece for modern run-of-the-mill computer graphics, and blah blah preservation of film history blah, Lucas is through with blockbusters. Well, except maybe another Indiana Jones or something:

He was careful to leave himself an out clause for a fifth "Indiana Jones" film. But otherwise, "Red Tails" will be the last blockbuster Lucas makes. "Once this is finished, he's done everything he's ever wanted to do," says Rick McCallum, who has been producing Lucas's films for more than 20 years. "He will have completed his task as a man and a filmmaker."

Not that Lucas will simply disappear, letting his overstuffed flannel drop momentously to the floor. He'll be apparently now be focusing on art house films--"small in scope, esoteric in subject and screened mostly in art houses," though presumably only art houses with digital projection and THX sound, because old habits die hard.

The future of Lucas's upcoming Red Tails--produced by Lucas as a passion project he had hoped to develop into a trilogy--now seems to be in the hands of studios and his new best friends, Spike Lee and Precious director Lee Daniels, whom he is really excited to giddily shout about:

Lucas, in a playful mood, said a huge opening weekend would persuade the studios to finance a second "Red Tails" movie -- a prequel -- "that Spike Lee's gonna make!" From the crowd, Lee yelled, "When do we start?" Lucas continued, "And we can get somebody else -- Lee Daniels -- to do the sequel!"

Perhaps feeling more alive thanks to his intriguing new "stop constantly fucking up Star Wars films" philosophy, Lucas went on to fall on his beam sword in regard to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull's "nuke the fridge" controversy. Though Spielberg last October took the blame for coming up with the idiotic scene, in which Indy survives a nuclear blast thanks to the insulation of a Frigidaire, Lucas now says it was he who first proposed the idea--and he even had to go out of his way to prove how scientifically feasible this idea apparently was before Spielberg would finally except the batshit premise:

When I told Lucas that Spielberg had accepted the blame for nuking the fridge, he looked stunned. "It's not true," he said. "He's trying to protect me."

In fact, it was Spielberg who "didn't believe" the scene. In response to Spielberg's fears, Lucas put together a whole nuking-the-fridge dossier. It was about six inches thick, he indicated with his hands. Lucas said that if the refrigerator were lead-lined, and if Indy didn't break his neck when the fridge crashed to earth, and if he were able to get the door open, he could, in fact, survive. "The odds of surviving that refrigerator -- from a lot of scientists -- are about 50-50," Lucas said.

And may that be the final "who did what first" controversy of George Lucas's career.


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