'Rock of Ages' Trailer: Tom Cruise Couldn't Care Less About Breasts

December 13, 2011


Combining Tom Cruise and a jukebox musical must have seemed like a good idea at some level. Both come with an inherent loud exuberance and broad familiarity that has made My Moms nationwide take pause and nod approvingly when either appears on a morning show. Unfortunately, those same traits are what make the two so largely insufferable to normal humans evolved to be intolerant of toothy maniacs and Broadway-style rock covers, so before you watch this trailer for the Tom Cruise-starring film adaptation of Rock of Ages, prepare for it to go down rough and leave long, irritating wig hairs lingering in your mouth for days. Even Alec Baldwin's commanding rasp can't save this much camp:

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