Jul 18 2008My Top 5 Favorite Things About the 'Beer for My Horses' Poster

beer-for-my-horses-poster.jpg

I'm finding it really hard to look at this for too long, but, through my squinted grimace, here are my top five favorite things about it.

1. The reflection in Toby's glasses. Did no one realize what the reflected image of a bound and gagged woman opposite a group of rowdy hillbillies would imply? (I'm talking about gang rape. Maybe also a country music-based Matrix parody.)

2. The Nuge.

3. The tagline. Not only is vigilante justice exciting (and definitely acceptable), it's also a pun if you randomly insert an explosion behind it! They'd better be careful making it seem so glamorous or they're going to convince everyone vigilanteism should be law, and then badasses like Toby Keith will have to find new ways to take the law into their own hands.

4. "Ut oh! With just an endorsement for vigilanteism and a stoic, goateed cretin, it might not be clear that Toby is, beneath all that cut-off flannel, on the side of the law. Hmm... I'll just use this 'Photoshop' program to seamlessly add a leather scrap and a badge worn like an amulet. Now it's obvious he's a sheriff. Or at least that he's magically warding off sheriffs."

5. The reminder that a movie based on a Toby Keith song about vigilante justice (which includes the pro-lynching line, "find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys, hang them high in the street for all the people to see") is actually a movie. It makes my constant thoughts of mortality so much easier to bear.

Beer for My Horses Poster [IMPA]

Reader Comments

wow.....umm.....what the hell?

How can he be a vigilante and a law enforcement officer? Do these people know what vigilante means?

Two necklaces?! How DO you do it, Mr. Keith?

Can't you get arrested for giving beer to a horse?

Ohhhhhh.....

No kidding, this is the strangest movie poster I've seen in years. I can't make heads or tails of it. Is it a grim vigilante thriller? Is it a wacky comedy? Is Toby Keith supposed to be the villain, or the tough good guy? Are those guys in the middle ground supposed to be comic relief or just a bunch of deranged creeps? And yes, the tied-up women reflected in the sunglasses definitely suggests that this leering quartet is about to rape and murder her. Is it THAT kind of movie? So many questions.

Also, Rodney Carrington's credit size reminds me of those "as told to" names on stars' autobiographies. You know: BEER FOR MY HORSES, by TOBY KEITH, as told to Rodney Carrington.

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Talent like Heath Ledger has passed on and never to grace us with another round of The Joker and countless other film roles and TALENTLESS shit like Toby Keith, Lohan, and Brett Ratner still are breathing only to hinder our tastes more and more with their shit movies… this makes sense.

Is Toby Keith like a Hillbilly Cyclops from X-Men, and can perhaps fire rape beams from his eyes in the shape of restrained women?

Also, 'magically warding off sheriffs' makes me cackle at the thought of Boss Hogg from the Dukes of Hazzard retreating like Bela Lugosi.

This seems like a horror movie to me. Two hours of Toby Keith dispensing his brand of unshaven justice is my idea of torture.

Although I like Nugent, he can't be good in this.

I puke a little every time I hear about this movie. Just . . . so . . . stupid.

Wow...I swear, if you just breeze by this...it looks like Larry The Cable Guy got thinner...and this does look like a comedy poster (save for the bondage lady)! Is it a comedy? This damn thing has been playing tricks on my mind for a while now...

In an interview w/toby on CMT he said it was kind of like the old smokey and the bandit movies, so yea its supposed to be a comedy flick-i think. It looks kind of cool to me, but im not expecting to much from it.

Kenny Rogers was the Gambler, CW Macall had him a Convoy, and Johnny Paycheck did Take this Job and Shove It. Nothing new. American entertainment is a series or remakes, reality shows and formula TV, Music and Movies. Remember when writers ruled the media and not marketing majors??

Wow! And so, Toby Keith, you made it to the BIG Thyme! Woo! Movie, Album! Hey I bet you even got on the soundtrack you bigot you!

Yay, let's celebrate by roundin' up 10 of our white buds, the one's who also have smallish penises, and funny (in a bad way) relationships with their Momma's, yay! Well shit let's round those 10 bad-boys up and go lynch us a Neeger!

Yep, that is TOBY "you fucking piece of dogs shit on my heel" KEITH in a nutsac.

I can't believe I wasted my life reading all of your dumbass comments and a list of things this guy hates about this movie. Toby Keith is a beast and is one of the very few singers that are actually good now a days. To say you hate Toby Keith, Willie Nelson, and Ted Nugent must mean you're gay, seriously.

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