Collider has an early review of M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening, and from the sounds of it, it's come time we stop taking this guy's calls. Here's a sampling:
"The Happening" is a terrible, terrible movie. I mean, it's bad on an epic scale. It's so bad that I can't possibly tell you how bad it is without understating the point or making it sound like I'm picking on the film. But let me stress: this is not pent-up Shyamalan aggression or a desire to see him fail. This is bad in a jaw-dropping "they can't really be serious, can they?" kind of way.
If you're dreading the Shyamalan trademark twist-ending, you can breathe a sigh of relief. There's no twist whatsoever. But there's also no ending. I won't ruin it any further by talking about what's not there, but prepare to feel very, very cheated and figure out in advance what consultation you can offer when the person next you confusedly asks, "Is that it?"
With Shyamalan's catalog getting increasingly disappointing with each new addition, it's getting even harder to defend him than it is to defend my everlasting love of Smashing Pumpkins. With both, it's just a lot of, "No, no, no, I know, I know. Yes, their last few were sort of questionable--ignore those. Shut up about Machina/Lady in the Water, OK? Just listen to/watch Mellon Collie/The Sixth Sense. Then you'll get it. What do you mean it doesn't seem all that great? Shut up. I guarantee if you were a teenager when you were exposed to this, you'd be loving it. Shut up. Just shut up."
Oh, and there's a new R-rated trailer under the cut. It proves strangely ineffective after reading that the film is "bad on an epic scale."