October 16, 2006
In recent years Hollywood has become a mid-90s webpage, with every project perpetually "under construction," quite often never actually reaching the big screen. Thus, it comes with much surprise that the Wolverine X-men spinoff, rumored to be in development for some time, actually has a script and should be shooting by this time next year. Says Wolverine re-enactor Hugh Jackman:
We've now signed off on the script. If you know about the history of 'X-Men' movies, that's a revolution for us. We're a year away from shooting the film and we have the script. And, by the way, it is unbelievable. It's a David Benioff script. He's probably the hottest writer going around town, and he was beating down our door to write this movie. It was the most amazing thing. So, we have this fantastic script. I've got a couple of movies coming out in the next month, and I might be able to tell you who the director is by then. We're seriously into talking about it now.
So you can stop the brilliant script you've been working on when World of Warcraft has server downtime. The one you had no real idea how to submit but were confident would be somehow get made, particularly once they saw the shots of your Halloween costume from the last four years: a slightly overweight Wolverine. I'm afraid that what you've written--yes, even the awesome part where Wolverine fights Terminator to save a talking dragon--will never be made. This doesn't mean Wolverine cutting off girls' bras in a sorority house wasn't a good idea; they just have a different direction they're going. Maybe they'll even end up using your line, "Three claws--you're out!" It's still too early to tell.
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