May 7 2008'The Rocker' Trailer: Better Than Watching an Old Man Being Carted Off by Paramedics
Being a blogger allows one a lot of luxuries you don't get when you have to go into an office. You can stay in your pajamas as long as you want; play loud and/or obnoxious music; work anywhere with an internet connection; and, when the occasion calls for it, you can watch half an episode of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood while you eat a bowl of Kashi, like I did yesterday. Since most of you probably weren't afforded this extravagance, let me give you a brief synopsis: Mr. Rogers visited a couple of EMTs. A firm believer in "show, don't tell," Rogers was placed in a neck brace, strapped to a gurney (he was first instructed to "hug himself," to give more of the illusion of a corpse), and thrown in the back of an ambulance--just like he really broke his neck! The entire time, a huge grin was spread across his face, as he asked questions like, "Do you have something smaller to strap a kid into?" (They did.)
As is probably apparent, it was utterly terrifying--particularly when they actually brought out the child-size straps and showed how they'd velcro in a kid's limp head. But, as Fred would later explain, the point was never to give children (or me) nightmares of a dead Mr. Rogers, the sheet slowly being drawn over his permanent grin; he just wanted to prepare us in case we break our neck.
Similarly, I now present you with the trailer to The Rocker, starring The Office's Rainn Wilson, Jeff Garlin, Will Arnett and some other funny, talented people. I show you this not because it's so worth watching, but because it looks very mediocre-at-best, and it's better you know that now than to feel the shocking disappointment in theaters. I assure you, it's much less scarring than the Fred Rogers death simulation I watched yesterday.
'The Rocker' Trailer [Yahoo!]
May 7 2008New 'Love Guru' Trailer: Midgets, Various Funny Hair Still Prominent Themes
You've probably heard racist jokes about how the Chinese drop silverware to name their children, or have hilarious penis-length-implication names like Long Wang (if not, now you have, and you should try to meet more racists). But you don't know the whole story. Mike Myers has some startling new racial naming evidence: it turns out Indians have funny names too! As the new Love Guru trailer shows, his Guru Pitka character was born in the town of--wait till you hear this--Harenmahkeester. Harenmahkeester! Like "hair on my keester"! Butt hair! Also proved funny: midgets, adult heads on child bodies (someone else has also just realized this), midgets, cross-eyes, and midgets.
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May 7 2008The Star Wars: The Clone Wars: The Poster
This poster seems to portray four robed characters, equipped with glowing swords, hip-deep in star wars. Behind them, a group of small, near-identical characters appear to also be warring, possibly in a sub-war of the larger, aforementioned star war. As evidence of previous epic battles, the tile floor is scuffed.
The Trailer & Poster for Star Wars: The Clone Wars [Official Site]
May 7 2008'This American Life' Exposes Human Flaws with Pleasing Animation
The new season of This American Life begins this began last Sunday, so brace yourself for the nasally voice of Ira Glass (now with visuals!) with this clip from the first episode. In this animation of a previous radio broadcast, Ira and his friends stumble upon the quirkiness of human behavior when Robert incorrectly believes he was at an event his wife had only told him about. Crazy, right? It turns out memory is flawed in some ways. Thankfully, the whole masturbatory story is set to the visuals of illustration and comics genius Chris Ware, so at least it's grating in a clean, geometric, eye-pleasing way.
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May 7 2008'Bangkok Dangerous' Poster Implies Guns May Be Involved, Possibly
It's really strange how many times this poster suggests the presence of guns without ever showing them.
1. Bullet holes in the thin layer of glass between us and the poster-verse. Man, I bet some guys are seriously shooting some guns at the fourth wall.
2. Does Nicolas Cage have a stump arm? No. He's just reaching in his awesome leather jacket, probably for a gun.
3. At first glance, Nicolas Cage appears to be holding a gun. At second glance: he's not actually holding a gun. His hand is just positioned in an open grasp such that a gun might fit in his hands if someone were to carefully slide one in.
I'm starting to think Bangkok might not be so outright dangerous--just implicitly so.
Bangkok Dangerous Poster [IMPA]
May 6 2008It's About Time: 'Spaced' Coming to Region 1 DVD
You're heard me rave about the wonders of the British series Spaced; now hear other equally-unrelated but more notable people say the same! Previously available only in Region 2 format, the Simon Pegg/Jessica Stevenson/Edgar Wright sitcom is at last coming to U.S. shores July 22, now with extraneous commentary by Quentin Tarantino, Kevin Smith, Bill Hader, Patton Oswalt, and Diablo Cody. I don't earnestly promote that many things, so take it to heart when I say if you haven't already procured the series by other means, take this opportunity.
Thanks to Caitlin for the tip, and for sharing her thoughts: "fucking finally!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yeah, no kidding.
Spaced - The Complete Series Press Release and Box Art [TV Shows on DVD]
May 6 2008'Twilight' Teaser Trailer Stares Into Your Soul, Over and Over Again
I haven't read the books, so I don't really know much about Twilight outside of this teaser trailer. So judging by that alone, I'd say it's about a teenage vampire who uses intense staring to suck out the souls of his victims. I know I started to feel my soul slip around the sixth or seventh stare. Am I close?
Four more stares and the trailer, under the cut.
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May 6 2008New 'Street Fighter' Shot, Aaron Losing His Edge?
Is Aaron depressed? My favorite blogger, Aaron of the official Street Fighter movie blog, has updated the site with two new images--a shot of new character Det. Maya Sunee and a fighting storyboard. But more importantly, Aaron's hip, youthful jargon has been seriously downplayed, possibly hinting at emotional turmoil for the young writer. You may remember from previous posts that he usually litters his updates with rarely-used (but clearly radical) slang like "flyin' at ya," "flippin'," (as in a euphemistic "fucking"), and the sure-to-catch-on "go all 'American Idol' on your asses." In sharp contrast, this latest post uses "you" four times instead of his traditional "ya"! What's up with that, A-Dawg? If he hadn't explained that Maya "rocks a Ducati," and used the edgy, Spanish version of "please" (por favor), I'd hardly be able to tell that Aaron is a secret government awesomeness experiment.
Under the cut: the new storyboard and his precious few attitude-filled quotes.
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