Nov 19 2009'New Moon' and Other Non-Abstinence-Vampire Films Open This Weekend
Films for those with an unnatural obsession with Robert Pattinson and those without such an affliction hit theaters this weekend. Here are your options:
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Director: Chris Weitz
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
Good if you want to see: you know full well exactly what this is. You can stop pretending.
Planet 51
Director: Jorge Blanco, Javier Abad
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Seann William Scott, Jessica Biel
Good if you want to see: a Twilight Zone-esque "it turns out man is the alien!" concept mixed with E.T. and crammed into the broad, animated family comedy mold; the cast of The Rundown vocally reunited for some reason
The Blind Side
Director: John Lee Hancock
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Quinton Aaron
Good if you want to see: Sandra Bullock forcing her way through a Southern accent to show how rich, white, trophy wives are capable of changing the lives of a poor, black kid if the kid is giant enough to be good at football; the exchange, "You're changin' that boy's life," "No... he's changin' mine" (oof!); an explanation for the shot in the trailer where the biological son and foster son are high-fiving over a table covered in assorted condiments (if you find that out, please tell me personally)
Broken Embraces (limited)
Director: Pedro Almodóvar
Starring: Penélope Cruz
Good if you want to see:an Almodóvar film. If you're into his stuff, go for it; if not, don't. If you don't know, see Talk to Her or something first, OK?
Red Cliff (limited)
Director: John Woo
Starring: Tony Leung Chiu Wai, Tekeshi Kaneshiro, other names you probably won't recognize
Good if you want to see: some huge battles between old fashioney Chinese warriors; some warlords and generals talking with subtitles to explain why all these huge battles keep happening
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (limited)
Director: Werner Herzog
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Eva Mendes
Good if you want to see: who know what you'll see in a semi-remake of Bad Lieutenant directed by Werner Herzog and starring Nicolas Cage (besides the imaginary iguanas seen in the trailer)? It's probably going to be pretty strange, though.
Nov 19 2009Anne Hathaway Could Be in the Spider-Man
How do you like the idea of Anne Hathaway as Black Cat, Spider-Maniacs (fans of Spider-Man who are psychotic)? I ask not arbitrarily but because she might actually have been offered the role.
According to Nikki Finke, producers for the superhero series have approached the Bride Wars warrior with an offer for an unspecified part. Using the knowledge that Kirsten Dunst is still in and Black Cat supposedly has a part in the next Spider-Man film, me and the rest of the internet is guessing that offer was for Black Cat.
Of course, there's also the rumor going around that Rachel McAdams was rumored last week, so we're probably at least a Michelle Williams rumor away from an official announcement. In the meantime, let's continue complaining that Sam Raimi for some reason isn't keeping true to the character and casting a young actress with actual white hair and disproportionately enormous breasts.
Nov 19 2009Yet Another Movie Poster You Won't Believe Is Real (But It Is!)
Like Old Dogs, Crazy on the Outside is one of those rare, terminal illness-style films that shows up seemingly out of nowhere and is so shocking, so heinous, that I just can't believe--refuse to believe--no matter what the charts/posters say, can really be happening. How were there no symptoms, no articles in Variety? This is for real? Crazy on the Outside is incurable at this point in the marketing cycle? And Tim Allen DIRECTED it, too? I didn't even know such a thing could happen. It's going to take a while to come to terms with all this.
Also, how is J.K. Simmons on the poster but not Kelsey Grammer? Has Law & Order's Skoda somehow become a more popular psychiatrist than Frasier Crane? Oh, how the mighty have fallen, and been forced to star in half a season of Hank.
Crazy on the Outside Poster [ComingSoon]
Nov 18 2009New 'Wolfman' Poster: Very Telling Cane Choice
If I were a wolfman, I would NEVER use a wolf cane. Or even if I'm not wolfman, if there's a wolfman issue going on locally, still not using a wolf cane. Casts too much suspicion on myself. If you're in an area with a werewolf, get yourself a cane with whatever the opposite of a wolf is on it. Maybe a toddler?
The Wolfman Poster 3 [IMPA]
Nov 18 2009Dr. Grant, Matrix, et al. Join 'Guardians of Ga'Hoole'
Sam Neill (Merlin, creepy red meat supporter, raptor enthusiast), Geoffrey Rush (Captain Barbossa), Hugo Weaving (elf, evil Matrixer) and David Wenham (Faramir) have signed on to provide voices for Guardians of Ga'Hoole, Zack Snyder's upcoming film that will bring his trademark excessive slow-motion into the world of 3D animation:
The big-budget fantasy film, in production in Sydney and directed by Zack Snyder, also will feature the voices of Aussie actors Emily Barclay, Abbie Cornish, Emilie de Ravin, Ryan Kwanten and Jay Laga'aia, as well as English actors Miriam Margolyes, Helen Mirren and Jim Sturgess.The film follows Soren, a young owl enthralled by his father's epic stories of the Guardians of Ga'Hoole, a mythic band of winged warriors who had fought a great battle to save all of owlkind from the evil Pure Ones.
Good luck at school tomorrow, guys. Those older bullies are going to have a field day calling you "Guardians of Gay Holes."
Nov 18 2009Jennifer Hudson Playing Controversial Winnie
No, not Winnie Cooper (thought the way she treated Kevin was sometimes kind of bullshit). Mandela!
Jennifer Hudson, the former American Idol contestant who won the oscar in her first screen role in "Dreamgirls," is ready for her next challenge. Hudson will star in “Winnie,” a drama that casts her as the former wife of South Africa’s first black president, Nelson Mandela.While Nelson Mandela—who’ll be played by Morgan Freeman in the Clint Eastwood-directed “Invictus”-- is a universally sympathetic figure for his struggle against apartheid, his former wife is a far more complicated figure. She has been depicted as the mother and wife who was a steadfast supporter of her activist husband and who was jailed herself for campaigning for his release and fighting against apartheid. Her image was subsequently tarnished by association with a bodyguard who murdered a 14-year old alleged informer, and she was later convicted of fraud.
The filmmakers will tell the whole story, good and bad.
But will Jennifer Hudson sing a special Winnie theme song?
Hudson, who is expected to sing the film’s theme song...
Yessss. I've always said even human rights violators deserve the same theme song opportunities granted to the Men in Black. Otherwise, aren't we all violating some basic human rights? Specifically, the right to a movie theme song sung by one of your film's stars.
Nov 18 2009'Percy Jackson' International Trailer: Your iPod Touch Could Fashionaly Save Your Life
Say you're a half-god teenager up against Uma Thurman Medusa. What sort of reflective surface do you think you could you use against her while also communicating a strong brand image? What has the necessary sheen to direct her image back at her while at the same time letting her know, before she permanently turns to stone, that you care about cost, quality, and conformity in your choice of music player? What item could cast back Medusa's powerful gaze and download an application called "iFart"?
Find out in the new Percy Jackson and the Olympians and Zeus and his Lightning Bolt trailer!
Nov 18 2009In French, 'Avatar' Looks a Lot More Made-for-TV Fantasy Miniseries-ish
The lack of John Rhys-Davies is all that's separating this from being a SyFy original called Effigy.
The French Poster for Avatar [ComingSoon]
