May 13 2009 Nicole Kidman Getting Out of This Woody Allen Business

Welp, Nicole Kidman must have seen the trailer for Whatever Works, because she is totally bailing on Woody Allen's new movie:

Nicole Kidman has ankled her role in Woody Allen's latest, untitled project.

Pic, which co-stars Antonio Banderas, Anthony Hopkins, Josh Brolin, Naomi Watts and Freida Pinto, is set to start shooting in London in the summer.

There is no word yet on who Kidman's replacement will be.

Don't fret, Woody; there are other, younger, more naïve fish in the sea for you to cast opposite an older guy clearly playing you.

May 8 2009 'Whatever Works' Trailer (This Isn't What Works)

Woody Allen and Larry David, over the years, the two of you have thoroughly entertained me while making me more comfortable about being a neurotic, misanthropic freak than I should be, and for that I am grateful. But this collaboration of yours, Whatever Works. I don't know about this. I really want to like it, but I also don't particularly want to to see a comedy full of obvious shots at stupid, religious zealot Southerners paired with gay jokes from the Bruce Vilanch catalog, which appears to be what the two of you have made:

Continue Reading " 'Whatever Works' Trailer (This Isn't What Works) "

May 7 2009 'Whatever Works' Poster: L.D. Sold Like an iPod

Just as Apple advertises its products against a blank, white background to draw attention to their beautifully-designed product, the producers of Whatever Works know they have such a beautifully-designed Larry David that's all they need to show. No other neurotic Jew on the market has such a well-crafted annoyed grimace or such an ergonomic questioning posture. Smart to show off those features. Strange they wouldn't bother adding writer/director Woody Allen's name, though. That's like omitting the Apple logo.

Thanks for letting me stretch that comparison as far as it would go.

Vulture Premieres the Poster for Woody Allen’s Whatever Works [NYMag]

Mar 25 2009 Larry David Will Be So Larry Davidy in 'Whatever Works'

Ropes of Silicon has posted 44 new production photos from Woody Allen's Whatever Works, meaning it's time to play the smash party game Which is Most Larry Davidy? It's simple: you look at 44 photos of the Evan Rachel Wood/Larry David comedy and determine (answers must be in number form) which is most Larry Davidy.

I think the above photo, 32, with its gesticulation and askew mouth, might be most Larry Davidy, but I'd be willing to hear arguments that 3 (plain clothes, disgusted face), 21 (lifting-massive-ball pose), or 23 (rigid, emphatic, hands up gesture) are more Larry Davidy.

Have fun playing, and be safe.

Feb 24 2009 Slumdog Joins Woody Allen's Newest

Naomi Watts and Freida Pinto, the cutie from Slumdog Millionaire, have joined Anthony Hopkins and Brand in the cast of Woody Allen's yet-untitled new film:

Freida Pinto will follow up her performance in the Oscar-winning "Slumdog Millionaire" with a role in Woody Allen's latest project.

This year's Cinderella at the Oscar ball will join the long list of Allen's muses as she takes on the ingenue role in the helmer's still-untitled pic.

Naomi Watts has also signed on to star in the film, joining the already-announced Josh Brolin and Anthony Hopkins.

I imagine hanging out with Woody Allen being a lot like an '80s sitcom, where Woody is like the Kirk Cameron from Growing Pains. We go to the Oscars, he catches a glimpse of Freida Pinto:

"Who is that!"

"Oh, she's in Slumdog Millionaire. Really young; way out of your league, man."

"She's beautiful. I've got to find a way to get her in my next movie!"

Then we spent the next twenty minutes scheming how to pull it off before getting caught by her dad, and people complain that the same basic episode aired a few years ago with Scarlett Johansson.

Watts, Pinto join Woody Allen film [Variety]

Nov 26 2008 'Whatever Works' Shots Make Chess Uncomfortably Neurotic

Voir.ca has the first production photos to emerge from the supernova of neuroses that is Whatever Works, Woody Allen's latest that stars Larry David and Evan Rachel Wood. Is anyone else excited about the natural pairing of Allen and David? I'm really looking forward to this, despite knowing I'll be humming the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme as a Pavlovian response to every scene change.

Two more under the cut.

Continue Reading " 'Whatever Works' Shots Make Chess Uncomfortably Neurotic "

Aug 27 2008 Woody Allen Makes a Production Blog, Calls It Outdated 'Diary' Because He's Old

Prominent neurotic Woody Allen has written a fake production diary in support of Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and it's just as absurd and self-deprecating as you'd think it would be:

JUNE 20

Barcelona is a marvelous city. Crowds turn out in the streets to watch us work. Mercifully they realize I’ve no time to give autographs, and so they ask only the cast members. Later I handed out some 8-by-10 photos of myself shaking hands with Spiro Agnew and offered to sign them, but by then the crowd had dispersed.

JUNE 26

Filmed at La Sagrada Familia, Gaudi’s masterpiece. Was thinking I have much in common with the great Spanish architect. We both defy convention, he with his breathtaking designs and me by wearing a lobster bib in the shower.

Do you think there might be parts where he talks about having sex with Scarlett Johansson and Penélope Cruz? Of course there are. That's why it's classic Woody.

Read the rest here.

Jun 18 2008 New 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' Trailer Has Studio Audiences Shouting "Wheeeeeeeeew!"

Woody Allen's celebrity Cinemax movie, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, has a new trailer--a series of clips that make it more and more clear that the auteur has filled the holes in his recently-spotty catalogue with much-needed girl kissin'. The trailer may also have some of Allen's famous repartee, but who can tell?

Continue Reading " New 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' Trailer Has Studio Audiences Shouting "Wheeeeeeeeew!" "

Jun 17 2008 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' Poster Makes No Mention of Notable Director, Girl-on-Girl Kissing

Yeah, don't make it obvious that this is a Woody Allen film. Who's that guy anyway? No need to mention him in any prominent way. But do mention that "life is the ultimate work of art," because that's the kind of meaningless, motivational poster statement that really sells a movie. That's why Iron Man was marketed primarily under the taglines, "You are what you dream" and "Teamwork."

'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' Poster Premiere [Cinematical]

May 13 2008 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' Trailer: Woody Allen Does Sexy

Like a primetime soap opera nearing sweeps, Woody Allen's latest, Vicky Cristy Barcelona, is full of torrid affairs and girl-on-girl kissing, and he's not above exclusively promoting those aspects in the new trailer. Thankfully, unlike a primetime soap, you won't feel that pathetic watching since the people are actually notable good-lookers; namely, Penelope Cruz, Scarlett Johansson, and Javier Bardem. Now the only hurdle standing between you and enjoyment is the thought of the leering, 72-year-old man behind the camera.

Continue Reading " 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' Trailer: Woody Allen Does Sexy "

Apr 23 2008 Evan Rachel Wood and L.D. on Set of Typical Woody Allen Film

Here's a shot from Woody Allen's latest, still-untitled lasagna of neuroses that was shooting in the Lower East Side Tuesday. The film appears to feature Allen's typical pretty young girl-meets-old neurotic Jewish guy dynamic, this time starring Evan Rachel Wood as pretty girl and Larry David as old guy. I'm pretty sure L.D. can't really act (outside of his brilliant appearance on Hannah Montana, of course), and Woody is obviously writing himself again, so we'll likely be seeing Larry David playing himself playing Woody Allen as written by himself. Needless to say, I'm pretty excited.

Evan Rachel Wood Dating Larry David? [Just Jared]

Feb 7 2008 Larry David, Woody Allen Uniting, Forming Voltron of Neuroses

Woody Allen has found a new solution to his constant struggle of finding someone to essentially play himself: cast another old, neurotic Jewish comedian. EW is reporting that Curb Your Enthusiasm star Larry David will take the lead in Allen's latest film, starring alongside Across the Universe's Evan Rachel Wood. Clearly David can play the type, and Curb revealed he can at least fictionally work with big name directors, so the only question remaining is if Woody will be able to write the part of an old Jewish guy fixated on a much younger, beautiful woman. We can only hope.

Larry David, Evan Rachel Wood to star in Woody Allen's next movie [EW]

Nov 6 2007 'Cassandra's Dream' Trailer Looks Decent, Woody-less

Getting excited about a modern Woody Allen movie is a tricky business. On the one hand, I'm hopeful for Cassandra's Dream (aka, Who Looks Better With This Flipped-Up Hairstyle, Ewan McGregor or Colin Farrell). This trailer looks pretty strong, it has talented actors, and there doesn't appear to be a lovable yet neurotic character clearly meant to be Woody Allen. All good signs.

But on the other hand, getting Woody Allen to make a decent film has become like rolling a Yahtzee--a rare but occasionally attainable feat--and this wouldn't be the first time I'd walk out of one of his films with the thought that I should have stayed home and watched Annie Hall.

Is this Woody rising from the poorly-reviewed ashes of Scoop, like a stammering, Jewish phoenix, to rise anew as a dramatic director, or is this yet another film to be skimmed over in his coming Academy Awards remembrance montage?

Trailer under the cut.

Continue Reading " 'Cassandra's Dream' Trailer Looks Decent, Woody-less "

Oct 29 2007 AM Poster Post: 'Cassandra's Dream' is Handsomely Contemplative

In this self-dubbed chilling drama from Woody Allen, the director hopes to answer the lingering question of which country has the more pensive handsome leading actor: Ireland or Scotland? At first glance, I'd think Farrell is representing the more pensive look with his slight lip pout, but imagine if McGregor is holding a cup of coffee in his shot, out of view. That kind of subtlety is exactly what separates good pensiveness from bad wistfulness.

Cassandra's Dream Poster [IMPA]

Oct 19 2007 Some Other Crap That Happened....

- Speaking at a Tuesday seminar, DreamWorks Animation's Jeffrey Katzenberg said there will be 12 to 18 fully 3-D movies by 2010. Didn't someone say this in 1950, referring to 1952? [First Showing]

- Woody Allen's upcoming "love letter to Barcelona," Midnight in Barcelona, is now being titled Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Vicky and Cristina are presumably much younger women he wants to f*** in Barcelona. [Hollywood Reporter]

- Bruce Dern will direct Hart's Location, starring with his daughter Laura Dern and ex-wife Diane Ladd, finally putting to film the awkwardness of their Thanksgivings. [Variety]

- The Wolverine X-Men spin-off will be titled X-Men Origins: Wolverine, so as not to confuse it with Heavily-Built Short-Legged Carnivorous Mammals and University of Michigan Athletics Mascots: Wolverine. [Variety]

Aug 20 2007 Cassandra's Dream Trailer

The trailer to Woody Allen's Cassandra's Dream has gone online, and actually looks really, really good. Perhaps, Mr. Allen, it's time to start loving you as more than just someone to make me laugh while justifying my crippling neuroses and see you as a dramatic storyteller. Still, I hope there's a scene where Ewan McGregor and Colin Farrell have a wacky time cooking lobsters.