Nov 10 2009 Winona Ryder Is a Dancer, Joins Aronofsky's Next

Good news, Winona Ryder's agent! Winona Ryder is going to be in another movie!

Winona Ryder is in talks to co-star in Darren Aronofsky's supernatural thriller "Black Swan" opposite Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis.

Set in the New York ballet world, the story centers on a veteran dancer (Portman) and a rival (Kunis) who are tangled in a manipulative relationship, but it's unclear whether the rival is real or a figment of the ballet dancer's imagination. Ryder will play a fellow dancer.

I get it: lure out-of-touch Gen-Xers in with the promise of Winona Ryder, then reveal to them the new, younger models of hip, dark-haired thin babes we now have to fawn over. Clever, Aronofsky. You'll acculturate them yet.

Jun 3 2009 'Heathers 2' Moving Forward with Help from Spirit Guide J.D.

Wouldn't you love to see how Veronic Sawyer, Winona Ryder's character from Heathers, would use her rising popularity to navigate the cliques of adulthood with the help of Christian Slater's ghostly manifestation? No? Welp:

Winona Ryder said in an interview appearing in the July issue of Empire that a sequel to the 1988 cult film is in the works. "I swear to God," she said. "But for some reason Dan [Waters, writer] and Michael [Lehmann, director] don't want to talk about it." Maybe you shouldn't be talking about it then, lady! Oh, but she went on. "There is a story, and Christian [Slater] has agreed to come back as a kind of Obi-Wan character."

I can't begin to imagine how this would work. There's a reason there isn't a Breakfast Club sequel where the characters find themselves spontaneously reunited in an ear, nose & throat doctor's waiting room (yet). And there's a reason every time you fly home to visit your parents, you see that one friend who's telling you how he's fixing up this really sweet Ford Probe. Some things were just never meant to leave high school.

(Thanks, Crystal.)

(Side-note: having some technical issues today. Internet is bloopers!)

Winona Ryder confirms 'Heathers' sequel. [IMPA]

Aug 6 2008 'The Informers' Trailer Informs Me It Probably Isn't as Good as 'American Psycho'

Here's the trailer to The Informers, based on the Brett Easton Ellis book and starring Billy Bob Thornton, Mickey Rourke, Winona Ryder, and Chris Isaak inducing a faint yodel of "Wicked Games" every time he comes on screen. It's also Brad Renfro's last role, so I'll pretend this looks like a more entertaining satire than it is. I'll just assume that both Renfro and Ledger will be nominated for posthumous Oscars this year, and when the winner is announced, a statue will be unveiled bearing both of their names, and it's actually two statues holding hands in the air, and they're angels. The auditorium erupts in tearful applause, and the actual angels of both actors descend beside shocked presenter Tilda Swinton. Renfro begins his acceptance speech with, "Where the fuck was my memorial reel last year, huh, guys?" and it gets kind of awkward for a few seconds, but luckily the music kicks in to cover the awkward silence.

Thanks for the tip, Daniel.

Continue Reading " 'The Informers' Trailer Informs Me It Probably Isn't as Good as 'American Psycho' "

Feb 6 2008 'Sex and Death 101' Trailer Has Naked Winona Ryd... Wait, Is That Natalie?

A comedy that explores what would happen if a guy got a list of every woman he ever has and ever would sleep with, how jarring it is to see Natalie from Facts of Life in anything outside of a Fact of Life reunion, and how hysterical it is when a large black woman wants to sleep with a white man. I assume it's aimed at the niche market of aging, pathetic Gen-X'ers that still long to see a brief glimpse of Winona Ryder's nipple, but otherwise want to watch a rejected Patrick Dempsey vehicle.

Thanks for the link, Kyle.

Continue Reading " 'Sex and Death 101' Trailer Has Naked Winona Ryd... Wait, Is That Natalie? "

Nov 9 2007 Winona Ryder 'Steals' Part as Spock's Mom. Because of the Whole Shoplifting Thing. Get it?

Winona Ryder has taken the role of Spock's mother in JJ Abram's Star Trek prequel. And, strangely, Variety reports that the role is of a Vulcan mother, making it unclear if this is a change from the original (Spock's mother is human, duh) or simply a typo, because, honestly, she really would a better Vulcan (or a better Wesley Crusher) than human.

She seems kind of young for the part, but at least we can imagine what the conception was like: exceedingly lame.

Winona Ryder joins 'Star Trek' [Variety]

Nov 7 2007 Winona Ryder Naked in 'Sex and Death 101'

I leave you today with an image and video of a sex scene from Sex and Death 101, at long last providing a brief, sad glance of the side of Winona Ryder's boob and protruding ribcage. It's only even vaguely sexy if your idea of eroticism involves fumbling your thumb into someone's mouth, then ceremonially pulling a sheet over yourselves to show, unquestionably, that you're either having sex or have become a giant, writhing, cartoon ghost.

Prepare to be underwhelmed, under the cut.

Continue Reading " Winona Ryder Naked in 'Sex and Death 101' "