May 27 2008 'Indiana Jones' Whips Weekend Competition, Using His Famous Whip
1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - A dutiful sense of responsibility combined with the subconscious desire to kill your idols brought Indiana Jones to $126 million, nestling it at #2, between Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End and X-Men: The Last Stand, on the chart of Horribly Disappointing Memorial Day Weekend Sequels.
2. The Chronciles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - The substantial drop to $28.6 million is widely thought to be related to Prince Caspian's running theme of not being Indiana Jones.
3. Iron Man - $25.7 million, which is still a ton when you consider that this is its fourth week, and that the film frequently digresses into quoting Swingers.
4. What Happens in Vegas... - $11.1 million, making it the most profitable marketing slogan-based movie since Where's the Beef? 2.
5. Speed Racer - $5.2 million, which isn't that bad if you disregard that it cost $120 million to cover Earth in a pupil-wrecking CGI lacquer.
May 19 2008 'Prince Caspian' Tops Box Office, Awaits SNL Parody Song
1. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - "And it shall make $56.6 million" - Matthew 4:17
2. Iron Man - With a third weekend of $31.2 million, it seems like everyone has gone to seen this thing. So I'm going to go ahead and give away the ending: Arnold Schwarzenegger wins the competition.
3. What Happens in Vegas... - I'm glad a $13.9 million weekend kept this in the top five with Prince Caspian; it greatly improves our chances of seeing a What Happens in Narnia... parody.
4. Speed Racer - Go, Speed Racer, go! Please, someone go. Signed, the Wachowskis. ($7.6 million)
5. Baby Mama - Holding on to the top five for a fourth week with $4.5 million, Baby Mama may be small but it refuses to go away. Just like an actual baby.
May 12 2008 'Speed' Racer Unable to Defeat 'Iron Man' Despite Inspirational Theme Song
1. Iron Man - Neither Speed nor Kutch could topple this giant, which still managed a $50.5 million weekend. They must not know Iron Man's weakness: magic rings or something, maybe?
2. Speed Racer - $20.2 million, all to find out what it's like to be stabbed in the eyes with a rainbow.
3. What Happens in Vegas... - $20 million in ticket sales. If you went, please explain why, and detail any hilarious, on-set Kutch-pranks that may be revealed during the credits.
4. Made of Honor - $7.6 million, coming in just ahead of Grüm's Man.
5. Baby Mama - $5.8 million--enough to just buy several black market babies, effectively avoiding the need for a baby mama.
Mar 26 2008 New, Meltier 'What Happens in Vegas...' Trailer
I'm told this is a second trailer to What Happens in Vegas, and that it's somehow different, even funnier, than the first. I can't say I noticed either, but it did suddenly occur to me that the zany typeface used in the titles is remarkably similar to the one used to describe such pleasures as "melty cheese" in Taco Bell ads. Can I safely say this is the official font of things that make me physically ill?
Continue Reading " New, Meltier 'What Happens in Vegas...' Trailer "
Mar 14 2008 'What Happens in Vegas Poster' Hints at Double Entendre
Huh-ho! I totally get it, Kutch! Cameron Diaz--that blonde dolt--is standing there thinking "Get Lucky" only refers to her winnings in Vegas! But all it took was that knowing grin and a point and I knew my man Kutch was talking a whole different kind of "lucky"! That is so awesome!
Judging by both this and the trailer, acknowledging the viewer is apparently a pretty big theme in What Happens in Vegas--probably falling just behind the theme of hilarious, Punk'd-style pranks and the theme of nonsensical court judgments for the sake of wacky plot development.
'What Happens in Vegas One-Sheet [Cinematical]
Jan 21 2008 'What Happens in Vegas' Trailer Shouldn't Have Happened At All
Like the recent Laws of Attraction, or any episode of a sitcom in which the main characters go to Las Vegas, What Happens in Vegas begins with the well-established premise that anyone who gets drunk in the state of Nevada will wake up confused, naked, and married. Then, to make things more complicated, newlyweds Cameron Diaz and Kutch win a $3 million jackpot that each claims ownership of. How can they solve this conundrum? Go to court, where, sensibly, Judge Dennis Miller (between hilarious, long-winded one-liners, no doubt) decides that the best movie plot would be to freeze the money and sentence the two to six months of "hard marriage." Makes sense.
From what I could gather from the trailer, apparently the judge also decrees that the first one to leave their unloving marriage will forfeit their share of the money, so the two begin a battle of one-upmanship to drive the other out of the relationship. While their attempts at foiling the other somehow, inevitably, lead to true love, it's the stupidity of these pranks that really tests your patience. Diaz enters the bathroom, we hear a splash, then Kutch--a sly grin across his face--holds up a toilet seat. Who is he showing this to? Me, the viewer? If he's going to break the fourth wall, he might as well go all out and apologize for this mess.
Continue Reading " 'What Happens in Vegas' Trailer Shouldn't Have Happened At All "
Nov 5 2007 Some Other Crap That Happened...
- Comedian Zach Galifianakis has nabbed roles as Ashton Kutcher's best friend in What Happens in Vegas... and as a government scientist in charge of a guinea pig commando program in G-Force. This gives me an excuse to post one of my favorite things ever. [Hollywood Reporter]
- Sylvester Stallone is in talks to direct and star as a man turned vigilante after his family is attacked in a remake of Death Wish, a title begging for jokes about his age. [Variety]
- Jake Gyllenhaal and Jessica Biel have joined David O. Russell's political satire about a woman shot in the head with a nailgun, giving her wild sexual urges, and the immoral congressman who takes advantage. Is it wrong that I'm most excited at the possibility of more videos of Russell freaking out on people? [Hollywood Reporter]
- Hayden Christensen will star in Beast of Bataan, playing the attorney to Masaharu Homma, the Japanese general implicated in the Bataan Death March. How tasteless will it be when they play Beast of Burden in the trailer? [Hollywood Reporter]
