Oct 8 2009 'Showgirls: The Story of Hope': At Last, Showgirls' Hope Side-Character Gets Her Time in the Spotlight
I don't understand why there would ever be a Showgirls sequel, or why said sequel's website would consist of only a really long, really ridiculous video promo that I couldn't make it more than a third of the way through. But that appears to be reality, so let's just sleep on that and, if need be, we can get back to it in the morning. Good night.
(via Twitch)
Aug 3 2009 'Iron Man 2' Viral Marketing Mocks the Unemployed
Sitting around your house shirtless, watching the half-hour afternoon edition of Howie Mandel's Pick-a-Box while alternately refreshing Craigslist's job section and the lastname.firstname email account you created to seem more professional to potential employers? You're in luck! The Stark Industries Stark Industries website now has a job application you can fill out (Tony Stark apparently hates formal resumes). Seeing that Stark Industries is not a real company, you probably won't get hired, but there is a bright side: "Information you provide through this website may be used for marketing purposes"! So maybe they'll send you an exclusive Iron Man 2 postcard or something that you could sell for a few dollars on eBay, giving you just enough for one more precious box of White Rose macaroni and cheese to get you through the week.
(Thanks, Brad of Comictube.)
Aug 6 2008 'Gentlemen Broncos' Fake Website is Kind of Great
In Napoleon Dynamite writer/director Jared Hess's Gentlemen Broncos, a teenager attending a fantasy novel convention learns his book idea has been stolen by an already established novelist. Since the internet is still popular (for now...), a website for the antagonist novelist, played by Flight of the Conchords' Jemaine Clement, has been set up. And you know what's crazy? It's actually funny--like Garth Marenghi's Darkplace as a website with a creepy, cursor-following effigy, horrible art, instructional videos, and novel excerpts. The audiobook sample of "Cyborg Harpies" contains the line, "Well, speak of the doomlord," which alone won my endorsement.
Have it. (Thanks to Hal.)
May 27 2008 'Witchblade' Has a Poster, Yet No Cast or Hopes
Seriously? If all it takes to market a movie is Photoshopping a superhero costume onto a nameless naked woman, then I've been in the movie advertising business since about age twelve. Now if only I could find a practical use for all these pencil drawings of what I imagined the hot Senior girls at my high school looked like nude...
(Thanks to everyone who sent this in. Also, there's a stupid site to go with the poster.)
Witchblade Teaser Poster and Site Revealed [Superhero Hype]
Feb 29 2008 Do You Believe in Harvey Dent? How About Marketing Ploys?
After a brief respite in honor of Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight viral marketing train is once again rushing towards us, now asking that you provide Harvey Dent with your email and phone number at IBelieveInHarveyDent.com. Just don't blame me if he starts calling you drunk or forwarding you pictures of cats and text.
Jan 22 2008 'Star Trek' Gets All Viral Marketing Style
Man oh man, can't J.J. Abrams just be straight with anything? Why is everything a complicated mystery game with this guy? Looking at the official Paramount Star Trek site, there appears to be nothing but the teaser trailer and, like your ever-in-progress Geocities page, an under construction message... or so it would seem! Click the red light next to "under construction" message and you get sent here, to the worst video feed possible of the Enterprise construction. Despite the technological advancements that allow sophisticated space travel, it seems security camera quality and welding techniques will still remain virtually unchanged, if not worse, in the 23rd century.
Camera 01 is shown as being offline, but I'm pretty sure I saw something flash on it while the page was running in the background. Can anyone confirm this, or was I experiencing some sort of nerd mirage?
Dec 18 2007 'Wall-E' Jumps on Viral Marketing Bandwagon
Pixar has merged viral marketing with high school-level Wal-Mart critique to create a website for Buy n Large, the fictional mega-coporation from their upcoming Wall-E. Buy n Large is buying-out the cardinal direction of north, changing its name to "Buy n Large North", according to one story on the site. Another claims BnL has made a new drug to make shopping more euphoric. The robotics page says humans shouldn't have to make political decisions, leaving it instead to machines.
Dude, that's totally like the shit these pro-consumerism conglomerates do, man. If pharmaceuticals could make a pill that makes you shop, they totally would. They'd probably create one that makes you like Bush, too, and I definitely do not. Pixar totally gets me. I wish they ran Fox News, but don't even get me started there.
Thanks for the tip, Metzger.
Nov 26 2007 'The Dark Knight' Has Eight Useless Webpages
The Warner Bros. intern staff is at it again, providing mildly entertaining but ultimately useless web content to keep us excited about a movie that's eight months away. Eight new Dark Knight websites have shown up online over the weekend, giving fans the chance to waste hours hunting for sad, irrelevant clues as to what this Joker character is up to, and why he's so good at Flash programming. The websites are:
The Gotham Times - The Times website can provide you with all manners of useless information about Gotham City. Could all the crime referenced in its pages somehow relate to that Joker criminal that Batman is fighting? I bet it does! Will you feel awful when someone asks you about a current event in the paper, but you've never heard about it because you instead chose to read a fictional city's fictional newspaper? I bet you will!
The Ha Ha Ha Times - Just like The Gotham Times, only defaced in the classic Joker style, which is surprisingly similar to the classic Jay Leno style. "Batman Saves Gotham Money On Car Insurance!" These headlines are hilarious!
Remembering Gina - Remember Gina? Neither do I. Apparently she was fictionally murdered by gangster Sal Maroni, leading to her receiving a fictional webpage memorial. Thus far, six people have commented that they remember her, one of which only claims a vague recollection, and one that claims Gina uses the same sassy vocabulary as Tyra Banks ("I remember your hugs and the way you would tell me to 'Grow up, girl!'").
Gotham National Bank - It only makes sense the Gotham National Bank would promote itself in as many venues as possible, considering that they're one of the few banks facing weekly supervillain attacks. Their savings accounts better be pretty great if the money will likely be stolen by The Penguin.
We Are The Answer - The official organization to report the corrupt cops of Gotham City. Only you can stop the next Batman equivalent of Rodney King.
Gotham Police Department - Their website claims they are one of the first "modern" style police departments. Apparently, in the world of Batman, most police departments are still like Keystone Cops, with about twenty guys comically scrambling to pack themselves into the paddy wagon.
Gotham City Rail - The best way to get up-to-date information on fictional trains in a fictional city, and it looks less like an old Geocities page than MTA.info.
Why So Serious Personality Profile - The Joker's personality quiz to see if you'd make a good henchman, because nothing is more sinister than a MySpace survey.
Oct 31 2007 Why So Serious? - The Joker Assigns Homework
For the last two weeks, The Dark Knight viral site Why So Serious? has been counting down to Halloween with the image of a pumpkin, candle burning inside, one half deteriorating at roughly the same rate as my interest.
Finally, something has happened, and a Warner Bros. intern posing as The Joker has posted clues to find in cities around the US. As part of an elaborate homework assignment, you go to the location described, take a picture of the letter there, upload it, and it joins the others on the collaged page. Presumably, something will be given to us when it's done, like more laborious tasks to complete.
Thus far, it appears the final text will say, "THE ONLY SENSIBLE WAY TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD IS WITHOUT RULES." Which makes sense, because I've always thought Joker would sound a lot like a No Fear t-shirt.
/Film has been doing a good job covering it, if you want to follow along.
Oct 18 2007 'Hellboy 2' Site Serves a Purpose
Instead of a "coming in 2009" message or a carefully crafted pumpkin, director Guillermo del Toro has provided us with a Hellboy 2 site that appears to actually serve a purpose. Hellboymovie.com has just been updated to provide a blog, in-character video welcome (which was stupid and over-gesticulated), and more importantly, an amazing gallery of design sketches, some by creator Mike Mignola. This may be your only chance to see a cephalopod fishmonger all day. Make sure it happens.
Hellboymovie.com [Official Site]
Oct 1 2007 Tagruato is the New Hanso, Gimmick
For his hit, intentionally-cryptic series, Lost, JJ Abrams created the fictional Hanso corporation and spread clues about its origins on TV and the internet. Well, apparently fake companies are something he now thinks play a part in every good marketing strategy, and there are corporate websites for his new 1-18-08 monster movie. Now you can spend hours scrounging for vague clues at Tagruato Corp. and its subsidiaries, Yoshida Medical Research, Bold Futura, Slusho!, and ParaFun!.
Great work, JJ. Nothing gets me interested in a popcorn monster flick like exhaustive research of a non-existing company. Because the company has no basis in reality, I can rest assured that whatever information I'm able to draw from these websites will serve me absolutely no purpose once the film fades in popularity. And even until then, at best it will make me seem like a freakish fanboy with far too much free time. Perhaps his larger strategy is the alienation of his fans from the rest of humanity, forcing them to find solace in collecting memorabilia for Lost and whatever he's calling this monster movie.
Cloverfield Has Its Hanso [1-18-08 Project Cloverfield]
