Jul 13 2009 Watch Nite Owl I Die!
When director Zack Snyder was editing Watchmen down to a barely-more-manageable 162 minutes, some scenes were necessarily lost. But did you realize one of those scenes involved the slow-motion murder of an elderly man? It's true! And you thought you'd seen every slow-motion murder of an elderly man. (You have, besides this one.)
Thankfully, Warner Bros. has released the clip, depicting the death of the first Nite Owl. Your collection is now complete:
Jun 29 2009 'Watchmen' Back in Theaters--and Now Incredibly Long!
If your primarily complaint about Watchmen was that it wasn't excruciatingly long enough, I've got some happy news, you: to promote Zack Snyder's director's cut on DVD, out July 21, the 25-minute longer edit will also be showing July 17 in venues in New York, Dallas, Los Angeles, and Minneapolis! According to Box Office Mojo, just twenty-five thousand dollars in ticket sales should push the film's all-time domestic gross just above the Tom Hanks/Madonna/Rosie O'Donnell baseball comedy A League of their Own! Let's get Fandangoing!
For those on the fence about whether or not they want to sit all the way through the new, 186-minute Watchmen, understand that there will be a brief intermission when Alan Moore rushes the stage and disavows himself from both the film and society as a whole before finally being pulled off stage by security guards who assume the insane, caveman-haired man is a street vagrant.
'Watchmen' director's cut to bigscreen [Variety]
Apr 7 2009 Man Shoots Himself Watching 'Watchmen'
It goes without saying that there's nothing funny about someone shooting themselves. But that said, when such a tragic action is committed during the viewing of a three-hour film, it could be interpreted as the most scathing review possible:
A man shot himself to death in a Eugene movie theater just after midnight Monday morning.Police say about 10 patrons were in an auditorium at Regal Cinemas watching the movie “Watchmen.” About midway through the film some of the moviegoers told the manager they heard a “popping” noise like a gunshot. A 24-year-old man was found in the rear of the auditorium with a gunshot wound to the head.
Police say the man shot himself and was dead when they arrived.
The patron closest to the man was sitting two rows away.
(Thanks, Soop.)
Well, now we know the cut-off distance for not responding to a nearby gunshot: two theater rows.
Mar 23 2009 Audiences Just Knew to See 'Knowing'
Your weekend box office results:
1. Knowing - The proven formula of Nicolas Cage running around with a really, really concerned look has paid off yet again: $24.8 million.
2. I Love You, Man - $18 million--a fairly lucrative weekend for bromance, if bromance is a term you use and track the success of.
3. Duplicity - $14.4 million. An American spy played by an attractive American star in a love affair with a British spy played by an attractive British actor is too intriguing a concept not to see (except when obligated to first see the new Nic Cage movie).
4. Race to Witch Mountain - $13 million. Poll: would you rather... a) race to Witch Mountain? b) take your time and enjoy each others company to Witch Mountain. c) don't care.
5. Watchmen - $6.7 million. This is probably my last chance for a really good "Who Watches the Watchmen" joke, and I've got nothing.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Mar 16 2009 More Exciting Word Choice Proves Effective for 'Race to Witch Mountain'
The box office this weekend:
1. Race to Witch Mountain - $25 million. My primitive mind found this version much more exciting than the original because the word "escape" had been switched to "race". You know--like RACING?
2. Watchmen - $18.1 million. Audience numbers dropped 67% this week following accusations that some male audience members were "looking." Dude, I was so not looking. You were looking.
3. The Last House on the Left - $14.7 million. Not everyone wanted to see a guy's head cooked in a microwave. Why would that be?
4. Taken - $6.7 million. Seriously, have you been TAKEN? I'm going to keep asking until you are.
5. Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail - $5.1 million. I can't be the only one waiting for Tyler Perry's Madea's Le Trou.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Mar 9 2009 Hey, You Watched the Watchmen -- Congratulations
Your weekend box office results:
1. Watchmen - $55.7 million. The non-stop barrage viral marketing wasn't enough to push Zack Snyder's latest past his previous March opener, 300, which had no viral marketing except the promise of some dudes fucking some other dudes up and someone getting foot-pushed into a hole. Now we know what brings in the crowds.
2. Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail - $8.8 million. I thought its reverent faithfulness to the Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail comic mini-series doomed the visually lush film to mediocrity. What did you guys think?
3. Taken - $7.5 million. Have YOU been taken? If not, get on it; it's been a month-and-a-half and you still haven't been taken. Hurry up and get taken.
4. Slumdog Millionaire - $6.9 million. Sales spiked when a 3rd grade teacher came up with a field trip plan that would allow her to both catch up on her movie viewing and teach the kids oxymorons.
5. Paul Blart: Mall Cop - $4.2 million. You thought you saw the last of Blart? Think again. You will never see the last of Blart. Blart is forever omnipresent. You can only define the universe as having more or less Blart at any given time.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Mar 9 2009 Who Made the 'Watchmen'? (The People in This Credits Sequence)
The Watchmen opening credits--notable for its innovative use of the same 3d-text-in-the-environment style as Fringe, the Pandorum trailer, and that one car commercial where the car keeps bumping into its reviews--is online at the Dave and Thomas blog. I have to say, the sequence does a great job setting up the film's basic premise of being set in a world of slow motion.
Mar 5 2009 Who Watches the Watchmen Saturdays at 10 AM on FOX?
What if, instead of making the transition into a 2009 blockbuster film by a "visionary" director, Alan Moore's Watchmen were adapted into a cheesy Saturday morning cartoon where Silk Spectre plays a keytar and the Comedian hopes for a kiss? That scenario is no longer hypothetical:
Continue Reading " Who Watches the Watchmen Saturdays at 10 AM on FOX? "
Mar 2 2009 Just Who Is This Professor Manhattan Character?
All this week, NBC will be posting a new video profile of a Watchmen character every day. By Friday, you'll know so much about these heroes that you won't even need Teen Beat's "Which Watchmen Do You Kiss Most Like?" quiz to discern that I definitely kiss like The Comedian (rough but funny and flirty).
Today's profile is Dr. Manhattan. It's not embeddable, so you'll have to click around here if you want at it. I'm sorry.
Feb 26 2009 Who Scrapbooks the Watchmen?
Just when I thought I was caught up with all the peripheral Watchmen media, Super Punch points out there's also this official Flickr page of fake magazine ads, newspaper clippings, auction listings, and anything else Warner Bros. graphic design interns could think of making. There's enough realistic promotional material now that, after humans destroy each other, future alien anthropologists are going to have a hell of a time differentiating fact from Watchmen once they get the internet booted back up.
Feb 24 2009 The Rorschach Diary Reading Series
Go into Watchmen with prior knowledge of every scene--and not just because it's a decade-old book that anyone who cares at all about comics has read. Warner Bros. has released two more clips from the film, so now you can see Rorschach investigate things while reading from his journal. It's the best diary reading from a man in a ridiculous costume since Diary of a Mad Black Woman:
Feb 20 2009 New 'Watchmen' Viral Video Goes MTV-Style
This new video for Watchmen should clear up some things for those wondering if, in a fictional 1985 that imagines a world with actual superheroes and Nixon still in office, Flock of Seagulls remain as a new wave force to be reckoned with. Of course they do:
Continue Reading " New 'Watchmen' Viral Video Goes MTV-Style "
Feb 19 2009 Who Watches the 'Watchmen' 3 1/2 Hour DVD?
Let's fast forward a couple weeks. You're walking out a showing of Watchmen, thankful the movie met at least some of your expectations, and even more thankful to be free of the packed theater's body odor haze. You're thinking, "I'm the kind of guy or girl who buys movies on discs for home enjoyment. How many versions of this am I going to have to buy?" So let me tell you: Zack and Debbie Snyder told Collider the first release, which will likely contain the theatrical version and a 3:10 director's cut, will come out around Comic Con (late July, for non-nerds). Later in the fall, we'll get the Ultimate Edition--a three-hour twenty-five minute cut that includes the Tales of the Black Freighter story. Still no mention of a bulky, trinket-filled version that won't fit in your DVD shelf or a bare-bones, full-screen version for parents to buy for Christmas even though you specifically asked for the ephemera-filled box set.
(Thanks, Rick.)
Feb 18 2009 Who Watches the Chock Full o' Nuts?
Those wanting to start their morning with rabid fandom are in luck: Watchmen themed coffee is now available (for a limited time). Brewing a cup of Nite Owl Dark Roast is the perfect way to say you're both groggy and a huge nerd. Next up: Rorsnacks.
Feb 18 2009 Rorschach and Nite Owl are Good Friends FOREVER
Have some Watchmen clips, everyone! See Nite Owl (not Rorschach like in the comic--ut oh!) visit Veidt and his hair wave. Revel in Rorschach being good friends with Nite Owl despite occasional arguments and accusations of insanity. Try not to worry that everything seems slightly stiff and unnatural--it should at least be better than the Joel Schumacher Batmen.
Continue Reading " Rorschach and Nite Owl are Good Friends FOREVER "
Feb 13 2009 'Tales of the Black Freighter' Trailer: Check Out This Shark!
When Watchmen comes to theaters on March 6, don't be surprised if you miss part of the story--and not just because you're watching it through the crude nylon mask of your Rorschach costume Tales of the Black Freighter, the castaway comic that runs parallel to the main story, was cut from the film, but will be released as an animated DVD on March 24. The newly-released trailer makes it look like it was meant to be part of MTV's Liquid Television, so unless things have changed since 1992, my mom probably won't want me watching it:
Continue Reading " 'Tales of the Black Freighter' Trailer: Check Out This Shark! "
Feb 12 2009 Play the Minutemen Video Game!
If the Minutemen, the '40s superhero squad of Watchmen, had existed, there probably would have been a mid-1980s Double Dragon-style game based on the characters. Right? At least that's the thinking behind the latest piece of Watchmen viral marketing, which allows you to play a simplistic arcade game as either the original Nite Owl or Silk Spectre. The gameplay isn't great, but at least it doesn't cost the $20 in quarters I'd spend beating Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Feb 9 2009 Rorchach's Mask is Made of Science
Empire has posted a new Watchmen behind-the-scenes video about the process behind making Rorschach's constantly-shifting mask. The secret: computers. They're not just for word processing anymore.
Also there are some never-before-seen Rorschach's youth scenes:
Feb 5 2009 'Keene Act' Saves Cops From Feeling Impotent
The Watchmen people have made another really convincing fake old video thing! This one is about the Keane Act--the comic-universe law that makes costumed vigilantes illegal--and like the last fake old video thing, it's really good if you already know the story and probably kind of confusing otherwise.
Continue Reading " 'Keene Act' Saves Cops From Feeling Impotent "
Feb 3 2009 Images of Tales of the Black Freighter
Director Zack Snyder was forced to cut Tales of the Black Freighter, the castaway comic within the Watchmen, from his adaptation of the comic--but it will not go unrealized! An animated DVD of the tale(s) goes on sale March 24, and JoBlo has some screenshots from it. I can already tell animation won't do the story the same justice as seeing extras strapped under a raft pretending to be bloated corpses, but I guess it will have to do.
