Jul 15 2008 Keanu Reeves Will Definitely Be Playing Plastic Man, Which is Not an Unsubstaniated Rumor

Hmm. It's a pretty slow news day, and I have to leave shortly to catch a screening of the movie where animated flies save the first moon mission (I'm more excited than you'd think). I need a good crazy rumor to go out on. Maybe some kind of casting for a superhero film that hasn't even been talked about--people love debating the quality of superhero casting. But what? Luke and Owen Wilson cast in a Blue Beetle/Booster Gold movie? Eddie Murphy and smaller Eddie Murphy from Meet Dave cast as Hawkman and the Atom? This guy cast in a Juggernaut film?

Wait, there's an actual rumor that Keanu Reeves will play Plastic Man in an adaptation by the Wachowskis? Let's go with that then. From CHUD:

A reader by the name of Ballack writes in from Berlin (one of my favorite cities in the world!) saying that Joel Silver was on German radio recently talking about Ninja Assassin, the James McTeigue-directed, Wachowski-produced martial arts movie. Ballack claims that Silver also spilled the beans on what the Wachowskis would be directing to follow-up Speed Racer* - Plastic Man.

You'll remember that a pre-Matrix Bros W wrote a Plastic Man script, which Ballack claims Silver said would be the basis for this new film. Our scooper also reports that Silver said they want the movie to have a global release at the end of 2009.

And if that's not a big enough story, Ballack further claims that Silver says that Keanu Reeves will be playing Eels O'Brien (the real name of Plastic Man).

Foreign, completely unverifiable source; based around facts that give it some slight connection to reality; will severely piss off fans of Plastic Man---this rumor is so much better than any of mine. And, obviously, completely true.

Jun 16 2008 'Ninja Assassin' Photos Contain Dishearteningly Little Ninja Assassining

/Film has acquired five photos from the Wachowski-produced, James McTeigue-directed, Ninja Assassin, starring Korean pop star Rain as a man who endures the taxing duality of being both ninja and assassin. Three appear to show Korean pop star Rain expressing dissatisfaction at the quality of his back tattoo; the other two are of people in suits drinking Pepsi. Needless to say, the lack of anyone in a ninja outfit stabbing sais directly into a pair of terrified eyes is already turning me off to this.

May 9 2008 Watch: First Seven Minutes of 'Speed Racer'

0-:30 - Help! I'm trapped in a sponsored kaleidoscope! Phew, I'm out. Apparently that was just the portal to a Nickelodeon locker room.

:30-4:00 - The constant rhythmic movements, the paralyzing hallucinations, the guttural outbursts, the insane scribblings, the Asperger-level singular obsession mixed with complete social disregard: it's abundantly clear that childhood Speed has some serious mental issues to overcome. I can't wait to see how they address such crippling psychoses in a family movie.

4:00-end - Never mind. I guess we're going to ignore all that in favor of a sneak peek of Nintendo's upcoming F-Zero Played on the Wario's Coliseum Mario Kart Course.

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Dec 18 2007 AM Poster Post: 'Speed Racer' at Groin Level

From the creators of The Matrix trilogy comes another unbelievable world full of guys plastered in leather and latex, but this time it's also sort of like a bleary-eyed look at a Christmas Tree.

Speed Racer Poster! [JoBlo]

Nov 14 2007 First Look at Pop in 'Speed Racer'

A Hungarian movie site has managed to get the first look at John Goodman as Pop in the Wachowskis' Speed Racer adaptation, seen here posing with his stunt double. But... what else could this shot be???

- Newspaper advertisement for Popov Bros. Body Shop.

- Third annual "I'm the Pringles Guy!" golf tournament, sponsored by Pringles.

- Catalog page from J. Crew's new Husky Crew collection. (page 4, The Chubby Polo, electric blue pictured.)

- Adorably matching older gay couple, Tim and Tim.

- John Goodman finally settling a bet that he's bustier than this other guy.

Műhassal és John Goodmannel [Cinematrix]