Mar 10 2009 New 'Riddick' Movie You Coincidentally Haven't Heard About
Wondering what's going on with the Chronicles of Riddick franchise? What a coincidence! Gamespot news on that subject (via ComingSoon):
Maybe we're too tight-lipped about the next Chronicles of Riddick film, and I think circa the release of [this new Riddick video game] that's probably when you'll start hearing more about the next Riddick film. It is underway and I almost think it's a coincidence that we haven't heard anything, that there hasn't been a lot of public stuff on the Riddick movie.
I know it's a hell of a lot to chew on--the startling coincidence there's a new Chronicles of Riddick film being made and there hasn't been a lot of publicity about it--but sometimes the stars align a certain way and we're treated to a glimpse of the gods' magic here on Earth. Enjoy it while it lasts, friends.
Feb 16 2009 'Fast & Furious' Poster, with: Michelle, Paul, Vin, Jordana, and ME--the Car!
This poster gives me a good idea for the next Fast/Furious adventure: the car should be a sentient character, and it helps the rest of the group solve mysteries. Basically, it would be Speed Buggy with Vin Diesel. Or, if you think that strays too far from the foundations of the Fast/Furious franchise, how about we just make Speed Buggy with Vin Diesel then? It would have to do at least as well as The Pacifier.
The New Fast & Furious One-Sheet! [Coming Soon]
Jan 16 2009 'Fast and Furious' Trailer Balances Speed and Fury
Watching Vin Diesel act makes me really wish I could cast him in a Disney comedy called The Most Petulant Buffoon. That said, this trailer is a good instructional for what to do if the flaming trailer of an oil truck is rolling towards you, and you're in this really awesome car:
Continue Reading " 'Fast and Furious' Trailer Balances Speed and Fury "
Dec 22 2008 'Thundercats' Trailer Made From Old Clips and Computers
I saw this all over the place today, so it's about time I post it behind everyone else. Here's an insanely elaborate fan-made trailer for a Thundercats movie that casts Brad Pitt, Vin Diesel, Hugh Jackman, girl from Farscape, Spy Kids, and CGI Garfield in the lead roles:
Continue Reading " 'Thundercats' Trailer Made From Old Clips and Computers "
Dec 22 2008 'Fast & Furious' Poster is Reasonably Fast & Furious, I Guess
The way I see it, there are three ways to interpret this poster:
1. The cast of Fast & Furious are standing in the desert, in front of a car, and are being reflected in its hood.
2. Someone got overly excited after the original Fast and the Furious and ran to their local airbrush artist to regrettably de-value their car.
3. An anthropomorphic car is reminiscing about its times on the set of The Fast and the Furious, which is shown through a cartoon shorthand similar to when dollar signs appear in someone's eyes.
It's probably meant to be the first one, but I think the third would be good as a scene in Cars 2.
Check Out The New Teaser Poster From ‘Fast & Furious’! [MTV]
Nov 17 2008 'XXX 3' Using Writers to Attempt a Story
Michael Ferris and John Brancato, the minds that brought us The Net, Catwoman, Terminator 3, and one episode of Married with Children, are in talks to write the script for XXX: The Return of Xander Cage. From Variety:
The writing team, whose credits include "Terminator 3" and the upcoming Jonathan Mostow-directed "Surrogates," began talks after pitching their take last Friday for a new installment in the action series to Columbia Pictures presidents Matt Tolmach and Doug Belgrad.Producer Joe Roth got Diesel and Cohen to agree to a reteam earlier this year (Daily Variety, Sept. 15). Col moved quickly to lock up the property, getting first look because of its past relationship with "XXX" generator Revolution Studios. Diesel and Cohen teamed on the 2002 original, which starred Diesel as an extreme sports enthusiast drafted by the government for a dangerous mission.
Ferris and Brancato are clearly terrible writers. Catwoman was one of the worst things ever made, and we can only rest part of that blame on Halle Berry's meowing. But, you know, for a XXX movie, they're probably good enough. I'm fine with this. It's like when you get a Stouffer's French bread pizza, and the side of the box tells you you'll get better results if you put it in the oven, but that's going to take like 45 minutes plus pre-heating, and you didn't buy a Stouffer's French bread pizza to wait an hour to eat. You got it because you're extremely lazy, it's 2 in the morning, and that's what was at the deli as you stumbled your way home. You're going to microwave that thing, eat it, and wonder why the next morning. XXX is the French bread pizza, Ferris and Brancato is the microwave, and the deli is TBS. Combine the elements, and you're assured to get a "good enough" every time (so long as it's 2 a.m. and you're drunk). Think about it. I'm almost sure that made sense.
Sep 17 2008 Maybe 'xXx 3' Will Be About Extreme Skin Grafting
When xXx: Hey, Xander Cage, which was the name of the main character, is back! was announced last week, several commenters were quick to point out that in xXx 2: Ice Cube, it's revealed that Vin Diesel was killed on a mission. But did you guys realize that on the director's cut of the DVD, there's a horrible short film where you can see the actual death of Xander (as portrayed by a suspiciously silent body double only shown from behind)? You probably didn't, because no one buys the xXx director's cut, but if you had, you'd have seen Xander enters a building, and then the building explodes! And if you're thinking he could have made it out, you're way off. How do I know? Because the section of neck flesh that bears the xXx tattoo is blown clear of the debris and held up to the camera! Insanity:
Continue Reading " Maybe 'xXx 3' Will Be About Extreme Skin Grafting "
Sep 15 2008 Vin Diesel Stripping Ice Cube of 'xXx' Mantle
Vin Diesel, you recidivist, you. Since returning to the Fast/Furious series, the smooth-headed actor has now agreed to say "Hey, it's me again" to another of his former masterpieces, Three X's: The Movie! From Variety:
Columbia Pictures hasn’t tired of "XXX," particularly if it’s a Diesel-powered vehicle. (Get it?)The studio is in discussions with producer Joe Roth for a new version of "XXX," one that would bring back Vin Diesel as star and Rob Cohen as director.
The duo teamed on the 2002 original, which starred Diesel as Xander Cage, an extreme sports enthusiast who gets drafted by the government for a dangerous mission.
The third incarnation has a title, "XXX: The Return of Xander Cage," but no script.
Oh, to be a hypothetical fan of Vin Diesel who was put into cryogenic hibernation in 2002 and just now awoken. If I were to ever wish that damnable fate on myself, it would be today.
Aug 26 2008 Vin Diesel Making a Couple More Riddick Movies for TBS to Show
Speaking to MTV News, Vin Diesel revealed that there are two more Riddick movies in the works, because Pitch Black is essentially the same thing as The Hobbit:
“David Twowy right now is writing the scripts. The only question is whether we take a page from the ‘Lord of the Rings’ guys and try to shoot the two chapters at the same time. There are two more in mind,” he said of Riddick, the Furyan warrior first introduced in the 2000 film “Pitch Black.” “‘The Chronicles of Riddick’ was presented as a three part trilogy that would answer ‘Pitch Black’ in the same way that ‘Lord of the Rings’ answered ‘The Hobbit.’”“Everyone knows I love the Riddick character and I’m always working on it,” Diesel asserted. “It just takes five years to make another one because David Twohy and I are so precious about it.”
Following the Riddick sequels and his return to the Fast/Furious franchise, Diesel will be moving on to other projects, like: (xXx)³, Boiler Room 2: Boiler Entire House, Remember Knockaround Guys?, Muscular Nanny 2,, and That One Where He's in Court ...AGAIN!, all of which should be really good, because Vin Diesel loves these characters--particularly Muscular Nanny.
Aug 25 2008 '4ast 4 4ourious (Four)' Trailer
God, gas prices, am I right? Sometimes it's like you've got to get Vin Diesel and his crew, drive out to the Dominican Republic, and find some highly improbable way to steal a fully loaded gasoline land train, assuming such a thing exists. Right?
I hope Vin later tackles how airport security is so crazy. Like by driving a car through the metal detector.
Aug 21 2008 Vin Diesel is the Woody Allen of Car-Driving Movies
When a series is daring enough to document the lives of those who are both fast and furious, then amp it up to too (2) fast/(2) furious, take it to Tokyo, then make it conceptual by presenting "fast" and "furious" as non-specific ideas, changing characters and cars throughout the saga, the possibility exists that some viewers may get lost between chapters. Luckily, Vin Diesel is directing and starring in a 20-minute prequel to the upcoming Fast and Furious that will bridge the gaps:
Vin Diesel, who stars in next Friday's Babylon A.D., told ComingSoon.net today that he is directing a 20-minute prequel to Fast and Furious, the fourth installment in the Universal Pictures franchise.Diesel will star in the prequel along with Michelle Rodriguez reprising her role as Letty and Sung Kang returning as Han. Diesel didn't say how the prequel would premiere; it could be on a DVD, online, TV, etc.
The fourth movie is a sequel to the first installment, and though Diesel didn't elaborate, we assume this 20-minute prequel will tie-in some of the events from the second and third movies. Rodriguez appeared in the first movie, Sung Kang in the third, and Diesel in the first with a brief cameo in the third.
This sounds an awful lot like a Star Wars: The Clone Wars of the Fast/Furious series. Very bad, I mean. It won't be good. It will be bad.
Aug 18 2008 What's the Worst Thing About Babylon Anno Domini? The Weather!
But you know what the best thing is? The Hanging Gardens of PURE LASER.
Old trailer here, if you missed the Vin Diesel poncho action.
Vin Diesel's 'Babylon A.D.' Poster [Ropes of Silicon]
Jun 24 2008 'Fast and Furious' Stars Attempt the Risky DRIVE FIVE
How much faster and furiouser is Fast and Furious compared to previous Fast and the Furiouses? So fast and furious as to attempt a DRIVE FIVE! (A high five while driving past someone.) So rad.
In addition to the above shot and a couple more, USA Today has some quotes from returning stars Vin Diesel and Paul Walker, such as Vin's explanation for returning to the tired franchise:
"I saw how people related to the characters' stories as much as the cars and action."
That's not true, but OK.
Jun 11 2008 'Babylon A.D.' Trailer: Like Every Other Sci-Fi-Action You've Seen, with Vin Diesel
Babylon A.D. appears to be built entirely around a couple guys guessing what a sci-fi action movie might look like based entirely on the few they've seen.
"'Babylon A.D.' sounds like a sci-fi movie, right?"
"Yeah, I think so. Let's call it that. Babylon A.D.... so sweet."
"Yeah, I know. And there should be a city like that Blade Runner city. That was sci-fi, right?"
"Yeah, totally. And there should be a part where you see a guy in a car, and then it turns out that car is being carried by a helicopter for some reason--like because it's the future."
"And the guy in the car is Vin Diesel!"
"Obviously."
"Let's make it!"
Is there another explanation for this?
Apr 15 2008 'Fast and the Furious 4' Finally Gets Its Ridiculous Title
Guess which it is! I assure you, however infeasible, it really is one of these:
4 Fast 4 Furious
The 4ast and the 4urious
2 Fast 2 Furious²
The Fast and the Furious Xtreme 480
The Fast and the Furious: 4 on da 4loor
The Fastest and Furiousest
The Fast and the Furious: 4tean Drift (ghost cars are somehow involved)
2 Fast + 2 Furious = 4Ever
The Fast and the Furious 4: Now with Vin Diesel Again!
Fast and Furious
And the answer is...
Continue Reading " 'Fast and the Furious 4' Finally Gets Its Ridiculous Title "
Oct 19 2007 'Babylon A.D.' Poster Fits Into Place
I wasn't really excited about the prospect another Vin Diesel-led sci-fi film until I saw this poster, and realized he'd be playing a space-series Lego man. Now I'm excited as shit, especially to see his gun made of a little megaphone thingy with a little round translucent thingy stuck on the end.
Exclusive Poster: Vin Diesel's Babylon A.D. [First Showing]
Oct 4 2007 Some Other Crap That Happened...
- Jay Leno is threatening to remain on television beyond his 2009 Tonight Show resignation by signing a deal with another network, thus preserving our ever-growing national catalog of mildly amusing newspaper misprints. [NY Post]
- ABC has contracted Veronica Mars writer (not Matchbox 20 moron) Rob Thomas to resurrect the short-lived sitcom Cupid. With Entourage and male-pattern baldness in full swing, Jeremy Piven won't be reprising his role, meaning it will make even less sense that I still refer to him as "Cupid." [Variety]
- Eddie Murphy and director Brian Robbins (AKA tough guy from Head of the Class) are planning to team up for A Thousand Words, about a man who only has 1,000 words left to speak before he dies. The two previously teamed up for Norbit, making it apparent Robbins and Murphy are angels of a wrathful god punishing us for our sins. [Variety]
- Vin Diesel as the Terminator? Sure. Why the f*** not. [AICN]
- Rush Hour director Brett Ratner is taking over as director on the Escape from New York remake. Do you hear the words comin' out of my mouth? They're sorrowful. [IESB]
Oct 3 2007 Diesel, Walker 2 B N Fast, Furious 4?
Hollywood Reporter claims Vin Diesel and Paul Walker, stars of the original Fast and the Furious, will be reprising their roles in the fourth chapter of the epic adjective saga. Here are the reasons this is believable or unbelievable:
BELIEVABLE:
- The Hollywood Reporter is a (relatively) respected trade source.
- Vin Diesel needs something to do until someone writes a Pacifier sequel or until the next chronicle of Riddick.
- Paul Walker needs something to do while Thomas Jane takes his roles.
UNBELIEVABLE:
- The Fast and the Furious and its sequels are stupid. (This could go under either category.)
- Starring in a bad movie, leaving the series, then returning after its worse is equivalent to dating a disgusting girl, dumping her, then begging for her back after she's gotten fatter, uglier, and has dated several schlubs. We've all done it, but it's frowned upon. (Again, this could probably go in either category.)
- Hollywood Reporter's image of prospective star Vin Diesel (above) looks suspiciously like American Idol's Chris Daughtry. (UPDATE: It appears they have removed the image in question.)
Regardless of the stars, the trade did have one more valuable piece of information to share:
The story line is being kept under wraps, but fast cars are involved.
Whew!
2 veteran drivers on 'Fast' track [Hollywood Reporter]
