Nov 19 2009 Game That Hasn't Come Out Already Becoming a Movie
Thanks to Reliance BIG Entertainment and Brad Pitt’s production company! Risky Business reports the two companies are developing Capcom's upcoming Rocketeer-looking, third-person shooter that you've never played into a feature film, with an eye for Pitt to star:
“Void” centers on a a cargo pilot named Will (Pitt’s presumed character) who, after crashing in the Bermuda Triangle, ends up in a parallel universe where a band of humans must fight an alien threat they had long been thought extinct. Will and the other humans are outmanned but have a number of weapons and powers to help them beat back the alien incursion.
Fans of the game are already of mixed opinion, split between, "We don't exist yet; the game hasn't even fucking come out! You're speculatively making this, but a film based on the hugely successful Halo series can't get off the ground? Jesus Christ, no wonder studios are going out of business," and, "Sounds gay."
Nov 3 2009 'Prince of Persia' Trailer: Jake Gyllenhaal Finds the Slow Motion Knife!
Massive CGI landscapes; vague, unplaceable accents; nonstop exposition; an utter lack of any sort of chemistry between "romantic" leads; jumping. If those are things you look for in a film, you are going to love this trailer for Prince of Persia. If not, then, well... prepare to have your eyes stained bronze for a few minutes.
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Oct 19 2009 Behind the Scenes on 'King of Fighters' -- See the Terrible Magic Happen!
Watch out Mortal Kombat, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, and both Street Figher movies: there's a new contender looking to become king of dismal fighting game adaptations. And how does King of Fighters plan to steal the oft-contested crown? By taking this fight to Tournament World! (Which is the fighting dimension, obviously):
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Oct 14 2009 So That's Why There's a 'Prince of Persia' Movie Being Made
Why is a Prince of Persia movie being made? Good question. Answer: because, six years ago, Jordon Mechner, a writer on the Prince of Persia series of games, used game footage to piece together a pitch trailer for what he envisioned as a film. Jerry Bruckheimer took note, decided he could make a billion dollars if he took off Jake Gyllenhaal's shirt and put him in that film, and the rest is history. (Or is it the future?)
So where is that pitch trailer now? Oh, here it is--DIGITALLY:
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Oct 2 2009 God, More Video Game Movies? Yes: 'Spore: The Movie'
Spore, the revolutionary video game known best for being first to allow nearly limitless ways to create your own sentient penis, will, of course, be a movie soon. From Variety:
Twentieth Century Fox has paired up with Electronic Arts to turn the publisher's popular "Spore" game into an animated creature feature, with "Ice Age's" Chris Wedge attached to helm.Greg Erb and Jason Oremland, who penned Disney's upcoming "The Princess and the Frog" and Ben Stiller pic "The Return of King Doug" at Paramount, will write the script for the "Spore" movie. It will be produced as a CG-animated toon by EA and Blue Sky Studios, which is behind the studio's "Ice Age" pics, "Robots" and its next effort, "Rio."
Everybody Loves Raymond Brother will be playing whatever the hell that purple thing with the beak is.
Aug 18 2009 'Castlevania' Almost News: Movie to Include Basic Game Elements!
Breathe a sigh of relief, Castlevania fans. Speaking about the long-planned film adaptation of the video game, Paul W.S. Anderson (producer on the project and director of horrible video game adaptations like Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil) said Saw's James Wan is currently working on "tweaking the script" to direct at some point in the future, and, more importantly, revealed that the adaptation will contain the most very basic elements that make up Castlevania:
“There’ll be the whip and there’ll be creatures,” Anderson said, referring to Simon Belmont’s weapon of choice and the mythical beasts he battles as he makes his way through Dracula’s castle in the original video game.
A whip and creatures!? This thing is already as accurate as the Castlevania Tiger hand-held game! I'll keep you updated if I hear news about the possible inclusion of a Dracula or any sort of castle-like structure.
Jul 2 2009 'Asteroids': That's a Movie Now
Solidifying the notion that film concepts are no longer so much actual ideas as much as notable words, the movie rights to Asteroids, the 1979 Atari game that consisted of absolutely nothing but a triangular ship shooting shapes that looked roughly like asteroids (and occasionally flying saucers), were just purchased by Universal after the studio won a four-studio bidding war. Yes, four studios were really eager to make an Asteroids movie. Because it's such a good idea for a movie.
It was a big score for Universal, as they're the studio making films based on Battleship, Candy Land, and Monopoly, so they have a reputation to keep up for making old, plot-free games into retarded movies. They needed this.
I can't help but think this is a mistake. Not the idea of making a movie based on a game of flying around shooting asteroids, but making a movie based on a game of flying around shooting asteroids that isn't Sinistar. At least then you've got an extremely antagonistic villain:
Jun 3 2009 'BioShock' Might Not Be a Movie After All
Good or bad news, BioShock fans: the LA Times is reporting that the popular first-person shooter might not make it to the big screen, meaning you may never get to see your favorite characters and scenes brought to life on film, or, that you'll be saved from having to see yet another of your most cherished video games dragged through the muck of Hollywood.
As usual, the problem comes down to money. And the issue of moving to a foreign country for a year or two:
Verbinski, who is currently working on the animated film "Rango," isn't confident about "Bioshock's" making it to the big screen. It's been previously reported that the film is on hold due to concerns about its escalating budget. Verbinski tells the Times that it could probably get made, if it is shot in one of those foreign countries that offer a generous tax credit. And he's not sure whether he wants to go overseas for the year-plus it would require to make it.
Don't cry, little ones. With plans for Duke Nukem and Rock Band movies still on the horizon, I doubt there will be a lack of beloved video game adaptations to bemoan. And once someone shows a studio executive the back of a Sega Genesis box, I'm sure we'll hear plans for movie versions of Sonic the Hedgehog, Toejam and Earl, Altered Beast, and Evander Holyfield's Real Deal Boxing soon enough.
(Thanks, Joshua.)
May 11 2009 This Prince of Persia Sure Is Fighting Some Guys
I remember reading somewhere that, prior to shooting Batman Begins, Christopher Nolan showed some of his crew Blade Runner to show them the look and feel he hoped to infuse into his superhero franchise.
Similarly, judging by these Prince of Persia clips, I'm guessing that tortoise-headed producer Jerry Bruckheimer showed his crew Aladdin and said, "Alright, make that, but also make Gladiator--and the Prince of Persia should fight a guy with Wolverine claws."
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Mar 9 2009 'Prince of Persia' Patiently Waits for His Chest Groomer
You have to give Jake Gyllenhaal some credit. He looks pretty relaxed for a guy clad only in chains and a grunge wig, about to make what will likely be another in the steady stream of forgettable if not awful video game-based movies. That's great acting. Or maybe he's looking to this guy for support.
(Thanks, Greg.)
Feb 16 2009 Balrog Hates Backing Into Spots
Happy Presidents Day! Your present is a new batch of Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li production stills! I point them out not because they look any better than the rest of the mundane crap we've seen from this movie but, rather, because they're so ridiculously mundane to the point of it being a joke. It's like even the marketing team is trying to keep expectations abysmally low. What is this, Michael Clarke Duncan parallel parking? That's almost as enticing as this shot of Bison sampling various fluids while staring directly at the camera. Or this one of Vega showing us his bare fist instead of the giant metal claw on his other hand. If this production releases any more photos, I'll be shocked if they're anything better than driver's license photos.
Feb 12 2009 Play the Minutemen Video Game!
If the Minutemen, the '40s superhero squad of Watchmen, had existed, there probably would have been a mid-1980s Double Dragon-style game based on the characters. Right? At least that's the thinking behind the latest piece of Watchmen viral marketing, which allows you to play a simplistic arcade game as either the original Nite Owl or Silk Spectre. The gameplay isn't great, but at least it doesn't cost the $20 in quarters I'd spend beating Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Jan 28 2009 Tomb Raider Will Be a Movie Again
Warner Bros., like many of us, is looking for a woman with full, pouty lips and disproportionately large breasts. The studio has announced they're planning to restart the Tomb Raider franchise, ignoring the previous Angelina Jolie-starring messes:
Warners Bros. and producer Dan Lin are in early development on a a reboot of "Tomb Raider," the popular video game action franchise.Paramount previously made the two movies based on the game, but the rights have since reverted to Eidos. When Time Warner upped its stake to 19.92% in Eidos in December, films rights to the property were included as part of the deal.
The new project, however, is expected to revamp the character and her mission and bear little resemblance to the original pictures. It will reimagine the origins of the character, her love interest and the main villain.
As an open-writing assignment, the project is still in its nascent stages. An actress who could play the role Angelina Jolie made famous would likely come on after a writer and director are attached.
Phew! I was worried I'd only see more real-life Lara Croft in the countless photos and videos that emerge after every video game expo and comic convention that features a promotional appearance by a model dressed as the character. Because whenever I see those, I'm always thinking, "This is OK, seeing a busty model in short shorts squat beside a bevy of nerds, but I wish there was a ludicrous plot to go with it."
Maybe I'm being too hard on the idea, though. Warner Bros. is the studio responsible for the hugely-successful Batman relaunch, so maybe they'll get this one right too (larger, more-exposed boobs, and adding the Joker).
Jan 28 2009 'Street Fighter' Promo -- Also: Buy This Talisman Thing
Coming Soon has posted a new Japanese promo for Street Fighter that seems to also double as a keychain amulet commercial. If your fierce dedication to the fighting game franchise has somehow created a faint interest in this film, consider this brief montage another shot at disenfranchising yourself enough to stop caring. You'll end up really wanting the talisman they show at the end though--that thing is beautiful as hell.
Jan 21 2009 'Street Fighter' Poster Guy Read That 'Cool Scroll Effect' Tutorial
What are they waiting for on the poster where the Street Fighter characters are literally jumping out of the arcade console to the delighted surprise of a pair of 14-year-old video game players? They have to know that's what we want. Or at least what I want.
Jan 7 2009 'Street Fighter the Chun-Li' Trailer Gets Domestic
Since everyone was loving that Japanese version of the Street Fighter trailer from last week, here's the higher quality English edition from IGN. Now you can truly hear the powerful narration describing the delicate balance between two primary forces in our universe. Good and evil? Light and dark? So you'd think! No, it's beauty and terror. Those two are constantly at odds. The simultaneous existence of both Heidi Klum and Osama bin Laden is all that has kept our world from either plummeting into pure and utter terror or exploding in a makeup-filled rainbow of absolute beauty. That is why we must fight in streets to maintain that fragile equilibrium.
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Jan 5 2009 'Street Fighter' Still Fighting For Us, With Posters
Let's start off the new year the right way: with another Street Fighter poster. If it's street fighting, why is Michael Clarke Duncan so prominently holding a gun? Is the bottom guy Iron Man? Have you ever tried simultaneously jump-kicking and jump-punching someone? Can I use this logo for my multicultural dojo? 2009 is going to be great.
The New Street Fighter Poster [Coming Soon]
Dec 29 2008 Welp, This Is What 'Street Fighter' Looks Like
Are you ready for some intense street fighting action? How about some fairly lame street fighting action of a quality that will have you continually asking when Steven Seagal is going to show up? Because that's what I have for you with the teaser trailer for Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li. The voice-over is all Japanese, but I'm pretty sure it's just someone repeatedly saying, "What were you expecting?"
And Bison has a goatee:
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Dec 18 2008 This Will Probably Be Like 'The Wizard'
Pirates of the Caribbean director Gore Verbinski has acquired the film rights to an article in the Wall Street Journal about a man's obsession with the video game Second Life:
Universal and "Pirates of the Caribbean" helmer Gore Verbinski have acquired a 2007 Wall Street Journal article they will use as the basis for a film about the online fantasy role-playing world and its detrimental impact on the real lives of players.Verbinski will develop the film as a directing vehicle; Steven Knight ("Eastern Promises") will pen the script.
The article by Alexandra Alter focuses on a married man who spends as many as 20 hours a day on a computer, existing through an avatar who is a thriving, musclebound entrepreneur. In reality, he is a diabetic, chain-smoking 53-year-old.
I just read the article (you can too!) and what the Variety story fails to mention is that the man is an electronic bigamist--married to one woman in real life and another lady in Second Life. So with that conflict and advanced computer graphics taking us INSIDE THE COMPUTER, I guess I can almost imagine how a man literally only playing an online game could be a movie. This part of the story will probably come at the height of the second act:
He upgraded his avatar, buying defined stomach muscles, a furry chest and special hair that sways when he walks.
When you buy yourself special hair that sways when you walk, you're just setting yourself up for a fall.
Universal, Verbinski plan to role-play [Variety]
Dec 2 2008 From 'Street Fighter': Chun-Li's Famous Thighs Looking Less Famous
Thanks to Matt for noting that Kotaku has posted the first photograph of Chun-Li's thighs from the new Street Fighter movie. Who are these people kidding? Those are not Chun-Li thighs. As a pre-pubescent at the time of Street Fighter's release, I became intimately, almost disgustingly familiar with Chun-Li's thighs, and these aren't them. Hers are thick, muscular, firm but with an underlying softness. That's why she's good at kicking things. Because of those magical thighs.
I'm willing to forgive some costume alterations, but upper leg diameter is non-negotiable.
