Jan 28 2008 'Meet the Spartans' Wins a Lame Parody of the Weekend Box Office

1. Meet the Spartans - I think we need to sit down and have a serious discussion about how this possibly made $18.7 million this weekend, and I think that discussion should be littered with shallow references to pop culture that might be mistaken for actual jokes.

2. Rambo - Stallone's body count easily bested 27 Dresses' dress count, earning $18.2 million.

3. 27 Dresses - $13.6 million, or almost $504,000 per dress.

4. Cloverfield - With a 68% drop to $12.7 million, it's still alive, but barely.

5. Untraceable - Your parents' combined fear and lack of understanding of this "internet" thing cost them a cumulative $11.2 million, though the mental damages could still rise as they continually ask you, "Could that really happen?"

Weekend Box Office [Box Office Mojo]

Dec 19 2007 AM Poster Post: 'Untraceable' Cyber Poster Cyber!

Haven't we moved past the point of anything with the term "cyber" being scarier? You'd think so. It's been over a decade since The Net, and that was already completely ludicrous when it came out; people are now using the internet for countless aspects of their daily lives; and if Dateline is giving an accurate account of the situation, "cyber criminals" are either, a) sad sacks looking to give adolescents a Mike's Hard Lemonade and a good time, or b) Nigerian. Neither are really that threatening if you aren't twelve or in Nigeria. Only my grandma will be frightened by the image of a mouse clicking a human face. (Though, admittedly, she will be very, very frightened.)

Untraceable Poste [IMPA]