Jan 26 2009 Paul Blart is Really, Really Popular Mall Cop

Apparently no one realized a new Brendan Fraser movie opened this weekend, and instead everyone saw these movies:

1. Paul Blart: Mall Cop - $21.5 million. Maybe let's not all see Paul Blart next weekend, just to give something else a shot. We'll divide it up: last names beginning with A-M, you get to enjoy the endless laughter this weekend.

2. Underworld: Rise of the Lycans - $20.7 million. Nice try, Underworld, but last I checked there isn't a King of Queens vampire, which makes your movie bullshit in comparison to anything with a King of Queens.

3. Gran Torino - $16 million, putting it less than $3 million away from reaching $100 million. How did that happen?

4. Hotel for Dogs - $12.4 million. Oooh, a hotel for dogs, you say? That sounds good.

5. Slumdog Millionaire - $10.6 million. Oooh, something else about a dog, you say? That also sounds good.

Dec 15 2008 'Underworld 3' Poster with the 'Underworld' Girl on It

They may have something here, using the sexy, pouty-lipped star of the film on the poster instead of a seated, 58-year-old Englishman. I like Bill Nighy and all, and I know a lot of people do, but I don't know anyone willing to go into a likely awful movie just because of his presence. Whereas, when I was 16, there were several times I was like, "Let's see that probably awful movie with that hot girl in it, because my mom took away the internet again."

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans Poster [UGO] (Thanks, again, to Brad)

Nov 19 2008 'Underworld 3' Poster Goes a Different Direction with the Heartthrob Vampire Thing

Sure, Twilight has young heartthrob Robert Pattinson playing a vampire that has all the girls swooning, but Underworld 3 isn't doing so bad either. They've got a dress-clad, 58-year-old Bill Nighy glaring menacingly out of the poster, so, you know, they aren't sweatin' it.

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans Poster [Shock Till You Drop]

Oct 23 2008 'Underworld: Rise of the Lycans' Trailer is Vampires v. Werewolves v. LOVE

Here's your trailer to Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, starring Rhona Mitra as Sonja, Bill Nighy as Viktor, and werewolves as Lycans. Summary, from Apple:

The third film in the $200 million UNDERWORLD franchise delves into the origins of the centuries-old blood feud between the aristocratic vampires, known as Death Dealers, and the barbaric Lycans (werewolves). A young Lycan, Lucian (Michael Sheen), emerges as a powerful leader who rallies the werewolves to rise up against Viktor (Bill Nighy), the cruel vampire king who has persecuted them for hundreds of years. Lucian is joined by his secret lover, the beautiful vampire Sonja (Rhona Mitra), in his battle to free the Lycans from their brutal enslavement.

I almost get the impression that the vampire/wolf conflict here could be analogous to real-world oppressions! So controversial:

Continue Reading " 'Underworld: Rise of the Lycans' Trailer is Vampires v. Werewolves v. LOVE "

Oct 26 2007 Some Other Crap That Happened...

- Is Mad Max 4: Fury Road back on, with George Miller taking the project on alongside JLA? How much farther beyond Thunderdome can a man possibly go? [Moviehole]

- A movie based on a video game, by the writers of Dr. Dolittle 4, and by the company that made Garfield's Fun Fest is the nightmare that will be Spyro the Dragon. [Variety]

- An Underworld prequel is on the way, called Rise of the Lycans, that will finally answer all the questions left over from the current films. Like why I'll never see them. [Variety]