Mar 16 2009 More Exciting Word Choice Proves Effective for 'Race to Witch Mountain'
The box office this weekend:
1. Race to Witch Mountain - $25 million. My primitive mind found this version much more exciting than the original because the word "escape" had been switched to "race". You know--like RACING?
2. Watchmen - $18.1 million. Audience numbers dropped 67% this week following accusations that some male audience members were "looking." Dude, I was so not looking. You were looking.
3. The Last House on the Left - $14.7 million. Not everyone wanted to see a guy's head cooked in a microwave. Why would that be?
4. Taken - $6.7 million. Seriously, have you been TAKEN? I'm going to keep asking until you are.
5. Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail - $5.1 million. I can't be the only one waiting for Tyler Perry's Madea's Le Trou.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Mar 9 2009 Hey, You Watched the Watchmen -- Congratulations
Your weekend box office results:
1. Watchmen - $55.7 million. The non-stop barrage viral marketing wasn't enough to push Zack Snyder's latest past his previous March opener, 300, which had no viral marketing except the promise of some dudes fucking some other dudes up and someone getting foot-pushed into a hole. Now we know what brings in the crowds.
2. Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail - $8.8 million. I thought its reverent faithfulness to the Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail comic mini-series doomed the visually lush film to mediocrity. What did you guys think?
3. Taken - $7.5 million. Have YOU been taken? If not, get on it; it's been a month-and-a-half and you still haven't been taken. Hurry up and get taken.
4. Slumdog Millionaire - $6.9 million. Sales spiked when a 3rd grade teacher came up with a field trip plan that would allow her to both catch up on her movie viewing and teach the kids oxymorons.
5. Paul Blart: Mall Cop - $4.2 million. You thought you saw the last of Blart? Think again. You will never see the last of Blart. Blart is forever omnipresent. You can only define the universe as having more or less Blart at any given time.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Mar 2 2009 Old Woman Going to Jail Still Our Best Movie Concept
Your weekend box office results:
1. Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail - Tyler Perry's $16.5 million. Where will Madea go next? Only Tyler Perry's Brain knows.
2. Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience - $12.7 million. Did people not realize this was a concert EXPERIENCE? It's not just three religious brothers in tight pants and rolled-up jackets singing for people who Tivo the Disney Channel; IT'S AN EXPERIENCE.
3. Slumdog Millionaire - $12.2 million. Is this the Oscar movie? I've been wanting to see that Oscar movie with the Indian fellows! Is this it?? I know it was dog million-something! I think this is it!!
4. Taken - $10 million. Have you been Taken?
5. He's Just Not That Into You - $5.9 million. Has he not been that into you?
Also:
8. Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li - 4.7 million. Maybe a third try at a Street Fighting movie will be the charm.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Feb 23 2009 Madea's Criminal Activity Does Not Diminish Her Fan Base
No one dared go against the power of Tyler Perry's Thing this weekend, and T.P. made the most of it:
1. Tyler Perry's Mades Goes to Jail - $41.1 million. Just when I thought nothing could make the concept of prison scarier than this, Tyler Perry has to throw his cross-dressing persona in there too.
2. Taken - $11.4 million, thanks to continued word-of-mouth that "Liam Neeson is fucking badass in this thing."
3. Coraline - $11 million. Can we let Henry Selick make more movies yet? He should be the stop-motion Pixar by now.
4. He's Just Not That Into You - $8.5 million. The first couple weeks of this film's success were due to its impressive star power. Now it's just sad ladies without friends hoping for answers on whether or not a guy is into her.
5. Slumdog Millionaire - $8 million. Even when it's safe money, no one wants to bet on a horse they haven't seen running.
Weekend Box Office [Box Office Mojo]
Jan 28 2009 It's 'Madea Goes to Jail' Poster
They had to change the name, and the cast, and make it not funny, but we've finally got our Arrested Development movie! Or maybe Tyler Perry is admitting he's Keyser Söze. That's probably the more likely scenario--considering the shadows, and how Tyler Perry is clearly evil.
Madea Goes to Jail Poster [IMPA]
Jan 8 2009 Madea Has Been Arrested Several Times
Lionsgate has released four new Madea Goes to Jail posters, each depicting the titular fake woman being arrested in different eras. I assume the right two are meant to represent civil rights arrests in the '60s and '70s, and the left-most is her most recent escapade, but what is this other arrest meant to be? I was thinking it's either for disgusting prostitution or doing the worst, most inappropriate Jessica Rabbit impression ever, but someone else told me they think she's just Lil' Kim. Thoughts?
High quality images of the posters are here, in case you want to reassure yourself that Tyler Perry still puts no more effort into his costuming than a wig, lipstick, and the lingering impression that he's too enthusiastic about cross-dressing.
Dec 16 2008 'Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail' Trailer: Drag Antics Meet Serious Drama--Again
Here's the trailer for Tyler Perry's Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail, continuing the Perry tradition of layering a crazy old fat lady--played by himself in drag and a fat suit--with over-the-top melodrama. Why does he think this works? It looks like Tyler Perry's equivalent of Ernest Goes to Jail edited into a Lifetime movie. The trailer also features a daring split-screen with Madea and T.P., an all-grown-up Rudy from Cosby Show, and a Dr. Phil cameo? Even Mike Myers and Seltzer & Friedberg are hesitant to summon him. Here you go:
Dec 11 2008 'Madea Goes to Jail' Poster Makes Great 'Dove Grudge' Poster or Tattoo
Every fat-suit & cross-dressing-based comedy should be marketed with its star's solemn face over a dramatic, black dove whose wings are dissolving into smoke, ink in water, or hair. Just because that makes the most sense.
Mades Goes to Jail Poster [IMPA]
Sep 23 2008 Tyler Perry's 'Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail' Teaser
Madea has brought so much joy and laughter to so many people that, like Ernest before her, she's been sent to prison, and now that's a movie. Make sure to watch this until the end, when Tyler Perry is so funny that he cracks himself up, because stifling laughter until finally breaking character after a timely Basic Instinct joke is the main draw of Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail.
Continue Reading " Tyler Perry's 'Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail' Teaser "
