Oct 2 2009 'Tooth Fairy' Trailer: Dwayne Johnson Gobbles Up Vin Diesel's Leavings
It's hard to put into words exactly how unfortunately bad Disney's Tooth Fairy looks from this trailer, so I'm just going to try laying out the major plot points, and maybe enough of the awfulness will ooze through to prepare you for what you're about to see.
1. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is a hockey player so good at knocking out teeth that he gets to sit in a customized, ice-side recliner during penalties.
2. The new young, hotshot hockey player thinks Rock is old.
3. The Rock informs a young fan that being a professional hockey player is a very high aspiration.
4. It is revealed the Rock does not believe in the tooth fairy.
5. The Rock becomes a tooth fairy.
6. The Rock undergoes a fairy boot camp (allowing opportunities for him being hit in the balls).
7. Miracle Max gives Rock magic things.
8. The Rock decides to forgo the magic things, instead dressing up in hockey pads for some reason.
9. The Rock uses his invisibility spray to haunt the young hotshot player.
10. Somehow all this teaches Rock a lesson
Even Tim Allen wouldn't do this movie, and he's essentially done this movie several times:
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Sep 22 2009 'Tooth Fairy' Poster: I Thought Fairies Had Bug-Style Wings
At long last, we have a poster for Tooth Fairy--a film that stars Dwayne Johnson as a hockey player who discourages a young fan and, somehow, insanely, is sentenced to become an actual tooth fairy for a week. I have to say, I'm a little disappointed they've simply slapped a new tagline on the same poster used for Disney's Angels on the Ice Rink, Disney's Guardian Goalie, and Disney's D4: The Now-Dead Mighty Ducks Roster Returns From Hockey Heaven for One Last Championship.
'Tooth Fairy' Poster [IMPA]
Sep 9 2008 'Tooth Fairy' Turns Fictional Sprites into Judge and Jury
The warring of Sound of Music fans, Scorpion King fans, Double Jeopardy fans, and Extras fans will at last be silenced: Julie Andrews, Dwayne Johnson, Ashley Judd, and Stephen Merchant are finally starring alongside one another! Best of all, they'll be sharing the screen in a family comedy that's so high concept it's insane:
The film centers on Derek Thompson (Johnson), a minor-league hockey player whose nickname is the Tooth Fairy because of his ability to knock out opposing players' teeth. Judd plays his girlfriend.When he discourages a youngster's hope, Derek is ordered to one week's hard labor as a real tooth fairy, complete with wings, magic wand and frilly tutu. Along the way, he rediscovers his forgotten dreams.
It was hard enough to buy into What Happens in Vegas...'s concept that Judge Dennis Miller would make a ruling of "six months of hard marriage." Now I'm supposed to believe demoralizing a child may hold the penalty of becoming a tooth fairy for a week? Presupposing the existence of tooth fairies, since when do they hold this kind of jurisdiction? Like we're meant to look to someone clandestinely paying cash for discarded human teeth as a sort of moral compass, capable sentencing us when we don't abide by their ethical code? This fun family movie holds enormous, horrifying consequences.
I'm curious to see how they handle the idea that a muscular man in a tutu "rediscovers his dreams" while sneaking into the bedrooms of sleeping children.
