Jul 18 2008 My Top 5 Favorite Things About the 'Beer for My Horses' Poster
I'm finding it really hard to look at this for too long, but, through my squinted grimace, here are my top five favorite things about it.
1. The reflection in Toby's glasses. Did no one realize what the reflected image of a bound and gagged woman opposite a group of rowdy hillbillies would imply? (I'm talking about gang rape. Maybe also a country music-based Matrix parody.)
2. The Nuge.
3. The tagline. Not only is vigilante justice exciting (and definitely acceptable), it's also a pun if you randomly insert an explosion behind it! They'd better be careful making it seem so glamorous or they're going to convince everyone vigilanteism should be law, and then badasses like Toby Keith will have to find new ways to take the law into their own hands.
4. "Ut oh! With just an endorsement for vigilanteism and a stoic, goateed cretin, it might not be clear that Toby is, beneath all that cut-off flannel, on the side of the law. Hmm... I'll just use this 'Photoshop' program to seamlessly add a leather scrap and a badge worn like an amulet. Now it's obvious he's a sheriff. Or at least that he's magically warding off sheriffs."
5. The reminder that a movie based on a Toby Keith song about vigilante justice (which includes the pro-lynching line, "find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys, hang them high in the street for all the people to see") is actually a movie. It makes my constant thoughts of mortality so much easier to bear.
Beer for My Horses Poster [IMPA]
Jul 3 2008 God Bless America, and Toby Keith
As mentioned before, Toby Keith's vigilante song-based vehicle Beer For My Horses, starring Toby, Willie Nelson, and unofficial Michigan governor Ted Nugent, recently found distribution. So now there's a truck-filled teaser trailer that doesn't even use the song that birthed it (too obvious).
I don't know if there's a gestural equivalent to a catchphrase, but I'm fairly certain that's what Tobes is trying to create here with all the elbowing in the face. Within a few months, in small town bars across America, the tradition of getting drunk and punching someone will be overwhelmingly replaced with elbowing followed by uproarious laughter as bar patrons recognize the classic "Keith Elbow."
Celebrate the Fourth by immersing yourself in this 30 seconds of truck American culture at its finest. I'll be back Monday.
Jun 20 2008 Toby Keith's Movie Gets Distribution, Horses Get Beer
Roadside Attractions has acquired distribution rights to Beer for My Horses, the story of two deputies defying the local sheriff to save one of their girlfriends from drug lord kidnappers. Beer for My Horses, eh? That seems like an odd name for a road-trip-cop-thriller; sounds more like a terrible country song. ...Oh:
..."Beer for My Horses," written, produced and starring country singer Toby Keith."Beer," which is the same title as his country music single, features co-writer Rodney Carrington, Claire Forlani ("CSI: NY"), guitarist Ted Nugent, and cameos by country icon Willie Nelson and Tom Skerritt.
Naturally, after reading this news I immediately looked up the lyrics to this film-worthy country masterpiece. Spoiler alert! If the film plays out anything like the song, we can look forward two, and only two, powerful themes to be explored in Beer for My Horses!
1) The notion that all criminals, be they ones who "blew up a building" or "stole a car," should be murdered in a mass genocide:
We got too many gangsters doing dirty deeds We’ve got too much corruption, too much crime in the streets It’s time the long arm of the law put a few more in the ground Send ’em all to their maker and he’ll settle ’em downTake all the rope in Texas
Find a tall oak tree, round up all of them bad boys
Hang them high in the street for all the people to see
2) Keith finally addressing the hillbilly etiquette dilemma of which alcohols to serve to man and which to mounting beast:
whiskey for my men, beer for my horses
Sounds good, Tobes! What else ya got? A music video! In which Toby, another ostensible country-star-cum-bounty-hunter, and Toby's father (Willie Nelson!) catch a serial killer, like one a'them CS 'n' I's:
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