Dec 10 2007 Weekend Box Office: 'Golden Compass' Wins, Still Does Horribly
1. The Golden Compass - A disappointing $26.1 million weekend proves it takes more than Nicole Kidman, epic battles, and armored CGI polar bear fights to bring in audiences. It also takes a giant robot polar bear that totally eats the shit out of every other polar bear.
2. Enchanted - I can't figure out why America paid $10.7 million to see a fairy tale princess in the real world when we've already had one. Rest in peace, Diana!
3. This Christmas - Why talk about the $5 million weekend gross when Chris Brown could sing about it?
4. Fred Claus - $4.7 million worth of recommendations to not see Fred Claus.
5. Beowulf - After taking in another $4.4 million, what's next for Beowulf? Answer: NEOwulf!
Honorable Mention: Juno only made $420,000, but it only played on seven screens, so that's nutso.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Dec 3 2007 Another Box Office Win for 'Enchanted'
1. Enchanted - Audiences are enchanted by Enchanted, making it the number one comedy in America for two straight weeks! I assume that's what the commercials will be saying all this week, and every week (with updated week counts), until something even blander comes along to take its spot. ($17 million.)
2. This Christmas - It made another $8.4 million, yet I still don't know anyone who is even remotely aware of this movie. (Note: I'm only friends with racists.)
3. Beowulf - Boring, Olde English epic poetry at its best: in 3-D with creepy-as-shit pseudo-humans! That's why it made another $7.9 million.
4. Awake - Despite having even worse reviews than the god-awful video game assassin movie, it still made $6 million.
5. Hitman - The god-awful video game assassin movie made $5.8 million.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Nov 26 2007 'Enchanted' Wins Weekend Box Office
1. Enchanted - Weren't Elf, Crocodile Dundee, Jungle 2 Jungle, and whatever similar movies I'm forgetting enough to satiate the public desire for the out-of-place-wacko-in-New-York genre? The $35.3 million Enchanted made says not quite.
2. This Christmas - Audiences paid $18.6 million to learn that Delroy Lindo's Christmas was nowhere near as eventful as Chevy Chase's.
3. Beowulf - A 41% drop to $16.2 million indicates the haunting, soulless eyes of animated mannequins might not be as inviting as previously thought.
4. Hitman - Coming in with a relatively disappointing $13 million, maybe this is evidence that video games don't necessarily make the best movies. But let's try a few dozen more times before we stop.
5 Bee Movie - Still pulling in $12 million after a month, thanks to Jerry Seinfeld's nightly visits to every home in America, dressed as a bee, when he quietly whispers lines of dialog into slumbering ears.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Oct 17 2007 'This Christmas' Tells of Typical 100-Person Family Christmas
It turns out my earlier assessment of This Christmas was not entirely accurate. I dug around and found this trailer for the film, and it turns out not all of the people pictured are necessarily part of the happy family: it appears some just have sex with the family members (or "eat their cookies," to use the trailer vernacular).
Strangely, the family portrait from the poster seems to actually play a part in the film. So this might end up being a lot deeper than I thought if family members start fading from the shot as singer Chris Brown disrupts the established timeline.
Oct 17 2007 AM Poster Post: 'This Christmas' is Porn for Broken Homes
I love that this movie seems to be selling itself on the idea, "Wouldn't you like to see a happy family?" No conflict, no divorce, no loss, just a smiling family unit posing for a picture, like it was designed by the Sears Portrait Studio. If Delroy Lindo in a cardigan can't put them in the seats, nothing will.
This Christmas Poster [BlackFilm]
