Jan 12 2009 Angry, Old, Threatening Man Drama Somehow More Popular Than Miserable Comedy

The weekend box office totals, for your logbook:

1. Gran Torino - $29 million. That doesn't make any sense. So many people must have left the theater pissed that Gran Torino wasn't the one with feuding brides.

2. Bride Wars - $21.5 million. Is lady-quarreling losing its appeal?

3. The Unborn - $21.1 million. For a sequel, how about The Everborn? Some kind of disgusting freak that's perpetually being birthed. No?

4. Marley & Me - $11.4 million. Spoiler alert: the "me" in Marley & Me is all of us. Everyone loves Marley.

5. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - $9.5 million, keeping the hope alive that this could still gross more than Bedtime Stories.

Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]

Dec 11 2008 'Unborn' Poster(ior) Looks Strangely Familiar

I'd know that pantied ass anywhere! That's the ass from the True banner ad! True banner ass!

Wouldn't you know it, just as soon as she finds relief from the constant paranoid fear of criminals and marrieds, she's got this unborn 10-year-old's ghost to content with.

Don't worry about why I was so easily able to recall the butt of a woman in a two-year-old MySpace advertisement for a dating site. Not your concern.

The Unborn International Poster [Empire]

Dec 8 2008 'Unborn' Images Make Your Baby Examine Its Existence

For a movie with a trailer that included Exorcist-level spiderwalking creepiness, these new production stills from The Unborn are ridiculously bland. However, I felt compelled to post the above image because I really like the idea of a child confronting a baby with his own image in a mirror.

"Look at yourself! Look at yourself!!! Ten months old, and look what you've become!"

"Dylan, are you confronting your brother with his own image again?"

Also, what is with that kid's insane outfit? Pliers and screw eyes: such an appropriate child's pajama theme.

Oct 27 2008 'Unborn' Poster Reminds You of Your Most Painful Decision

I really wish they'd gone with the original tagline:

Hey, it's me!

I want to be born SO BAD, I can taste it on what developed of my tongue tissue!

I just feel like that's more true to the prenatal voice.

'The Unborn' Poster Debut [Bloody Disgusting]

Oct 9 2008 'The Unborn' Trailer Will Make You Scared to Exit the Womb Alone

If blind people protested Blindness because it suggested the sightless were incompetent and savage, anyone who had a twin die in the womb with them should protest The Unborn for the implication that your dead twin will somehow continue to age into a creepy 10-year-old, then come back and haunt you and demand that you birth them:

Continue Reading " 'The Unborn' Trailer Will Make You Scared to Exit the Womb Alone "