Jul 13 2009 'Bruno' Wins Box Office, "Is Nice!" (Like How Bruno Says)

The top five movies in the country, in order of both box office gross and likelihood of there being a funny voice at any given point in the film:

1. Bruno - $30.4 million. According to research, "the main reasons people checked off for seeing the movie were the "Humor" (74 percent), Sacha Baron Cohen (57 percent), Borat (52 percent) and the "Outrageousness" (50 percent)," which is surprising, because how do 50% of people list "outrageousness" among their criteria for anything?

2. Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs - $28.5 million, and each ticket sold was voiced by Brad Garrett for some reason.

3. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - $24.2 million. Who would have expected the Fallen's revenge would be living well?

4. Public Enemies - $14.1 million. Who wants to see Christian Bale face off against someone as pedestrian as John Dillinger? The guy's fought Terminators and Jokers! At least give Dillinger infrared vision or something.

5. The Proposal - $10.5 million, reasserting that marriage is both beautiful and hilarious.

Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]

Jul 6 2009 'Transformers 2' Still America's Favorite Thing to Pay to View

So close, Ice Age. So close. The weekend box office:

1. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - $42.3 million. Continuing our nation's great tradition of celebrating our independence by watching explosions. And robots that turn into construction vehicles.

2. Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs - $41.7 million--unusually high numbers for a historical-fiction piece.

3. Public Enemies - $25.3 million. I suspect it could have done better if the advertising did a better job pointing out that, in this version of the story, Dillinger uses riddles to antagonize Purvis, who is Batman.

4. The Proposal - $12.9 million. If your girlfriend dragged you to this, don't necessarily assume she's hinting that she wants you to propose; she may just have very dull taste in movies.

5. The Hangover - $11.3 million, probably paid largely by people with actual Fourth of July hangovers.

Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]

Jun 29 2009 'Transformatons 2' Easily Beats 'My Sister, the Reluctant Organ Donor' and Everything Else

Somehow the smashing, clanging robots sequel Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen beat the weekend's other wide release, the sister-dying-of-cancer melodrama My Sister's Keeper. Go figure:

1. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - $112 million, giving the film a five-day domestic total of $201 million and a worldwide total of $387.3 million. And that's all in Bay Bucks, the new, Michael Bay-printed international currently that we're using now.

2. The Proposal - $18.5 million--pretty respectable against such explosion-filled competition. Just goes to show that faking-a-relationship-for-a-green-card comedy works better as a movie than it does as a part of the TGIF sister lineup, I Love Saturday Night.

3. The Hangover - $17.2 million. Can we give Zach Galifianakis another televised talk show yet?

4. Up - $13 million, still scoring ticket sales from all those kids whose parents thought robots smashing each other would be too violent. Come on, moms; lighten up.

5. My Sister's Keeper - $12 million. And that's the last time you'll hear of this movie until ten years from now when it's coming on TV and you watch 45 minutes waiting to see Juliette Lewis play retarded, because you're confusing it with The Other Sister.

Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]

Jun 18 2009 Moving Pictures Opening This Weekend!

Treat yourself to a movie this weekend. You've earned it. Here are some new releases to choose from:

The Proposal
Director: Anne Fletcher
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds
Good if you want to see: Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds play characters pretending to be engaged, when in actuality they are not engaged.

Year One
Director: Harold Ramis
Starring: Jack Black, Michael Cera, cameos
Good if you want to see: a return to late '70s/early '80s, History of the World/Life of Brian/Wholly Moses!-style historical comedy; a preview of how well screenwriters Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg, currently writing Ghostbusters III, work with Egon as a director (Rotten Tomatoes says not well).

Whatever Works
Director: Woody Allen
Starring: Larry David, Evan Rachel Wood
Good if you want to see: Larry David in a Woody Allen movie, which, despite lackluster reviews and an unimpressive trailer, still sounds intriguing to this guy; Woody Allen explore the idea of an older Jewish guy with an attractive young blonde; the source of the thick fog of neuroses that will be drifting through select cities.

Dead Snow
Director: Tommy Wirkola
Starring: Norweigan names, many of which require specialized characters.
Good if you want to see: Nazi snow zombies. Either that sells you or it doesn't, OK?

Dec 10 2008 I Do Not Accept This 'Proposal' (Trailer)

I don't expect much from a Ryan Reynolds/Sandra Bullock romantic-comedy directed by 27 Dresses' Anne Fletcher (a woman apparently fixated on getting married). Bullock is a horrible boss about to get deported; Reynolds is a guy desperate to keep his job; they're forced to get married and fake domesticity; they hate each other until they fall in love. That's a concept just broad enough to ignore.

I would have let that fly as another hollow but innocent attempt at fusing romance and comedy, The Proposal, but you got greedy. What is this part where the U.S. government insists Sandra Bullock meets and wins over Ryan Reynolds family? Is this a law now? "You may get married and give her a green card, but I insist she first meets your unusual family." I believe they might check that they were co-habitating or something, but this meet the parents thing seems silly. I don't remember that being a condition in the short-lived Head of the Class spin-off, Billy. Am I missing something in this?

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