Nov 13 2009 'Charlie's Angels' Being Forcefully Dragged Back Onto Televisions
Continuing the dismal trend of digging up the lifeless corpses of '70s and '80s television shows, painting them up pretty, and watching them decay over a single season of broadcast television (ed: see Knight Rider, The Bionic Woman, web-slingers!), ABC is reportedly close to ordering a pilot for a new adaptation of Charlie's Angels.
The latest revival will be the third attempt, looming under the finger-gunned ladyshadows of plans made in 1988 and 2004 that never reached campy eroticism actualization.
No word on how this will affect plans for a third Charlie Angel movie. The two surely can't run parallel; the heavens could never stand to loan mankind six slutty-looking women all at once.
Nov 11 2009 Karl Pilkington Gets His Round Head and Hangdog Face Animated
You should really be listening to the Ricky Gervais podcasts. If you are already, good job. If you're not... well, fine, but not listening because you "hate things made of sound" because they make you use your "brain eyes" is no longer a valid excuse (usually that would be a valid excuse). Soon, the audio series will be coming to HBO in the form of animation! No more using your brain eyes! You'll be able to use your eye eyes!
Here are a couple previews:
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Nov 10 2009 Amusing Father Comments Becoming a Show
Ut oh, someone told CBS executives about Twitter, and now they want to get involved. Don't worry; they aren't starting accounts or anything. They're just purchasing the rights to the notion of a dad saying humorous things and developing the funny, popular account shitmydadsays into a sitcom:
CBS has picked up a comedy project based on the Twitter account, which has enlisted more than 700,000 followers since launching in August and has made its creator, Justin Halpern, an Internet star."Will & Grace" creators David Kohan and Max Mutchnick are on board to executive produce and supervise the writing for the multicamera family comedy, which Halpern will co-pen with Patrick Schumacker. Halpern and Schumacker will also co-exec produce the Warner Bros. TV-produced project, which has received a script commitment.
The comedy's title will change if it gets on the air.
Wow, that sounds like it will probably be terrible. But I suppose it makes sense. Television can't survive more than a couple years without seeing Jerry Stiller as a screaming father.
Nov 5 2009 Roland Emmerich Working on 2012: The Television Series
Titled 2013, naturally:
“The plan is that it is 2013 and it’s about what happens after the disaster,” Emmerich told EW while walking the red carpet for the 2012 premiere Tuesday. “It is about the resettling of Earth. That is very, very fascinating. (2012 writer/producer) Harald Kloser and I came up with the idea and we have the luxury of having a producer on the film who is a big TV producer, Mark Gordon. We said to Mark, ‘Why don’t you do a TV show that picks up where the movie leaves off and call it 2013?’ I think it will focus on a group of people who survived but not on the boats … maybe they were on a piece of land that was spared or one that became an island in the process of the crust moving. There are so many possibilities of what they could do and I’d be excited to watch it.”
There are so many possibilities for what they could do in post-disaster-ravaged Earth! The characters could search through rubble; give the millions of mutilated bodies proper burials; futilely forage for nourishment in the scorched, barren landscape; turn to cannibalism, eating former friends and family out of desperation; eventually starve to death; build a hut--the options are limitless! Well, I suppose limited by Earth's delicate ecosystem being utterly destroyed, but otherwise limitless.
Oct 21 2009 Weather Channel Finally Playing Movies
The Weather Channel has announced they'll be adding movies to their schedule at the end of the month. About fucking time, Weather Channel:
For the first time in its 27-year history, The Weather Channel® (TWC) will add movies to its programming schedule with “The Weather Channel Presents…” This new movie series launches Friday, October 30, with the TWC premiere of The Perfect Storm, starring George Clooney, which coincides with the anniversary of the ferocious “perfect storm” of 1991, on which the movie was based.Following The Perfect Storm on Oct. 30, TWC will air feature films every Friday night in November. Weather plays a central role to the story, plot or overall theme in each of the movies selected.
Following The Perfect Storm, the films get slightly more questionably weather related. Foregoing an obvious choice like Twister (or maybe The Weather Man?), the network will next play March of the Penguins (snow!), followed by Misery (snow!) and Deep Blue Sea (tropical storm, sharks!).
Well, it's at least good to hear the Weather Channel has come up with a way to remain relevant when the internet has made TV weather news nearly obsolete. This should keep them afloat at least until someone comes up with a way to watch movies online, any time, for free.
Oct 9 2009 'Hawaii Five-O' Is Coming Back For Real
Remember all that talk of a Hawaii Five-O reboot from a year ago (a project that was then going by the unfortunate name of "Hawaii Five-O 2.0")? Well, turns out that's still happening, and Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman--the Star Trek and Transformers writers that give Hollywood executives dollar boners--are developing the project. Variety adds that at their side will be Peter Lenkov, executive producer on CSI: NY, who will be writing the pilot under the watchful eyes of Fringe's Kutzman and Orci.
I'm skeptical, but if nothing else, at least now someone will be patrolling one of the few major cities not protected by CSI or NCIS forces.
Oct 7 2009 Jay Leno Not Just a Hack; Also a Shill
True, some of the brands were mentioned derisively as jokes but, really, what kind of joke set-up begins with "Pantene Volumizing Shampoo"? (Answer: a terrible, corporate-sponsored joke.)
We can't be more than a few weeks away from a Mug Root Beer Dana Carvey Show-style switch to The Wendy's Jay Leno Show. Bing!
(via 29-95)
Oct 6 2009 You're Totally Going To Doodle This New 'Doctor Who' Logo
New Doctor Who logo! "DW" as a tardis! Lens flares! And no one is more excited about it than leader writer/executive producer Steven Moffat, who said:
Look at that, something really new - an insignia! DW in TARDIS form! Simple and beautiful, and most important of all, a completely irresistible doodle. I apologise to school notebooks everywhere, because in 2010 that's what they're going to be wearing.
Sorry, notebooks, children will totally be doodling this logo on you! And then--more bad news--you'll be knocked out of their frail, nerdy arms by bullies, then get picked up and drenched in their salty tears! This is the worst threat to notebooks since that music video where a kid draws Billy Idol in their notebook.
Still, better than this logo.
Sep 29 2009 See Conan O'Brien Smash His Head
You heard how Conan O'Brien banged his head pretty bad while taping a sketch for The Tonight Show, right? Well, you can finally sate your concussion bloodlust, because he presented the footage and told the full story on his show last night, and now that's on internet.
Sad that this would happen to Conan after just a few months on the show, yet Leno somehow went 17 years without someone running on the stage and bludgeoning him with anything.
Sep 28 2009 Gordon Ramsay Is Getting a Stop-Motion Sitcom?
OK, so you've seen Gordon Ramsay shout that someone is a "donkey" who "could have killed someone" on Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares, and possibly on all the other British shows where he also does that, but now you're looking for a new way to see that same caricatured, "fuck me"-throwing-food-on-the-floor action in a new format. Right? I thought so. Lucky for you, there's this now:
Celeb chef Gordon Ramsay is ... set to be the star of his own stop-motion animation series after striking a deal with Toronto-based animation house Cuppa Coffee Studios.“Gordon Ramsay, at Your Service” is described as a half-hour laffer that will take “the essence of who he is and have a bit of fun with it,” according to Adam Shaheen, prexy of Cuppa Coffee.
Cuppa Coffee is the animation house behind Nick at Nite’s primetime toon series “Glenn Martin, DDS” and MTV’s “Celebrity Deathmatch,” among other shows.
Why does claymation Gordon Ramsay look so much like someone dipped the Hulk villain Leader in a vat of peroxide? And why not just give brilliant child parodist Little Gordon a show? There probably aren't suitable answers to those questions, so I guess I'll just be happy that this will probably eventually end up on Food Network Nighttime, hopefully meaning one less Bobby Flay Purposely Shames a Once-Proud Chef I'll end up tolerating when I can't sleep at 3 AM.
Though, personally, I'd rather see Ramsey in a series I'm working on called "Surf Ogre."
Sep 1 2009 Guess What, There's This Now: Teen Wolf the Series
Someone better invent a device to record programming for later enjoyment and posterity, because MTV has ordered up a pilot of a Teen Wolf series. So long as the above scene is used as the opening sequence, I'm fine with that.
Aug 27 2009 There's This Now: 'Heathers' The Series
Someone wants to make Heathers the next Buffy, and it isn't me. Fox has announced plans to bring the dark high school comedy back to life as a TV series:
[Writer, Mark] Rizzo is still kicking around ideas on how to update "Heathers" 20 years after the film became a favorite among the underground set. But the characters from the movie are all expected to be there -- Veronica Sawyer (played in the movie by Ryder), J.D. (Slater) and the "Heathers."The original movie revolved around Veronica as she navigates a clique of mean girls -- all named Heather -- and rebels after meeting J.D., the new guy at school. Soon, the Heathers start "accidentally" dying at the hands of Veronica and J.D., who cover up the deaths by faking them as suicides. Ryder's character chronicles her teen angst and the rising body count with regular diary entries.
So it will be Heathers without all the murdering and suicide? (I assume, in the interest of maintaining some sort of cast.) That doesn't sound like much of a Heathers to me. Irreverent pranks will never be a substitute for making someone drink drain cleaner.
Aug 26 2009 New 'Bored to Death' Trailer: Jason Schwartzman, P.I.
Boasting an impressive cast of actors of the comedy genre, HBO's Bored to Death begins airing next month, so the network has released another trailer to promote the September 20 premiere. The series stars Jason Schwartzman as a private investigator, with supporting parts from the always-funny Zach Galifianakis and Ted Danson, who may have finally redeemed himself after Becker. His Curb Your Enthusiasm run nearly did it, but I still harbored resentment from the NBC miniseries Gulliver's Travels. This could be it:
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Aug 4 2009 'Sesame Street' Behind the Scenes: Ruin the Magic
Or possibly make it more magical, if seeing a long-haired man with his hand up Ernie is something you find magical, with this clip from a behind-the-scenes Sesame Street thing that aired on the History Channel. The Children's Television Workshop either looks like a delight to work at or a living nightmare, depending on how long you stare into Bert's dead eyes:
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Aug 3 2009 'Futurama' Crisis Averted
Well, we can cancel our plans to burn down the police stable in outrage. Following news a few weeks back that 20th Century Fox was looking to replace the voice cast of Futurama with cheaper replacements, it's now been announced that a deal a has been struck, and the original voices will be returning:
Casting execs were set to begin meeting with replacement thesps this week. But the five stars -- John DiMaggio, Billy West, Katey Sagal, Maurice LaMarche and Tress MacNeille -- finally sealed pacts late Friday with 20th Century Fox TV to return to the show.Both the actors and 20th are believed to have found a compromise. Move comes after 20th put out a casting call in July to find replacement voice actors for the show.
"We are thrilled to have our incredible cast back," creators Matt Groening and David X. Cohen said in a statement. "The call has already gone out to the animators to put the mouths back on the characters."
Phew! Glad that's taken care of. I wasn't ready for another jarring change of cast--I'm still reeling from the controversial Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Aunt Viv switch of '93.
Jul 31 2009 First Look at Curb's 'Seinfeld' Pseudo-Reunion
The first shot of Curb Your Enthusiasm's long-awaited Seinfeld reunion been released by the Home Box Office Television Channel. Furthermore, Larry David talked to press about the scenario's inspiration, and how it will play out:
"The context is for years I've been asked about a 'Seinfeld' reunion -- as has Jerry and the other cast members," Larry David said at the "Curb" panel at the Television Critics Association's press tour in Pasadena."I would say, 'No, there's no reunion, we would never do that, it's a lame idea' ... but it might be really funny to do that on 'Curb' ... and I kept thinking of how we could pull this off, and Jerry was game ... so we're doing a 'Seinfeld' reunion show. ... We'll see the read-through, parts of rehearsals, the show being filmed ... you won't see the entire [mock 'Seinfeld' episode] ... you'll get an idea of what happened 11 years later [for the characters]."
"It was like getting on a bicycle," David said of writing "Seinfeld" dialog again. "Coming up with the right ideas about what they'd be doing 11 years later ... that took some thought."
How David, or science, plans to explain that Julia Louis-Dreyfus is somehow way hotter now than she was literally 20 years ago remains a mystery.
Jul 21 2009 EXCLUSIVE First Sort-of Look at HBO's 'Boardwalk Empire'
Martin Scorsese is shooting the pilot of Boardwalk Empire, the upcoming HBO series about the rise of Atlantic City as a gambling haven, and though you'll have to wait a bit longer to start Tivoing and lavishing it with Emmy Awards, my friend Todd got this shot of the filming going on in Park Slope, Brooklyn. If you can't tell, that's Steve Buscemi getting out of an old fashioney car! Look how the door opens, and where the steering wheel is! It's crazy!
I didn't say it was an exciting exclusive.
Jul 20 2009 Walter Cronkite Dies at 92
Walter Crokite, the only person I'll ever trust to tell me anything, died in his Manhattan home Friday after succumbing to cerebral vascular disease. He was 92. From his longtime employer, CBS News:
Cronkite was the face of the "CBS Evening News" from 1962 to 1981, when stories ranged from the assassinations of President John F. Kennedy and the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. to racial and anti-war riots, Watergate and the Iranian hostage crisis.It was Cronkite who read the bulletins coming from Dallas when Kennedy was shot Nov. 22, 1963, interrupting a live CBS-TV broadcast of the soap opera "As the World Turns."
Cronkite was the broadcaster to whom the title "anchorman" was first applied, and he came so identified in that role that eventually his own name became the term for the job in other languages. (Swedish anchors are known as Kronkiters; In Holland, they are Cronkiters.)
And that's, unfortunately, the way it is.
Jul 17 2009 'Futurama' Voices Getting Effed Over?
Last month's news of new Futurama episodes coming to Comedy Central has been downgraded from a "Good news, Everyone!" to a "Why must everything beautiful be destroyed?"
Forces of Geek is reporting that Futurama voice actors John DiMaggio, Phil LaMarr, and Maurice LaMarche are claiming 20th Century Fox is trying to re-cast much of the vocal talent. The studio has even put out casting calls:
[ DR. JOHN ZOIDBERG (ZOIDBERG) ] Dr. Zoidberg, a lobster-like alien, left his home planet of Decapod 10 to become a rich doctor but instead became the Planet Express staff doctor (doesnt pay so well). Zoidberg, who is usually shunned by the rest of the Planet Express crew, is always in search of his next meal. His skill as a surgeon, and basic knowledge of human anatomy, are often called into question. He secretly desires to become a stand-up comedian...SERIES REGULAR
Let's express some outrage. Who wants to burn down the police stable?
(via AV Club, where it was just noted Variety has confirmed the story.)
Jul 16 2009 Emmy Nominations: These Are Most Likely Our Best Television Things
Alright, Academy of Television Arts and Sciences fans, your day has come: the 2009 Primetime Emmy Award nominations! As usual, expect a mix of the expected (30 Rock and Mad Men have a lot), the aggravating (Family Guy for Best Comedy Series? God) and the that's-[still]-a-show? (Old Christine is apparently still having enough New Adventures to share with us each week on CBS).
Full list here; abbreviating list with 100% fewer hair, makeup, and technical awards here:
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