Aug 26 2009 Susan Sarandon is Your Mom, Dude! (Dude Being Shia LaBeouf)

Good news, Susan Saran-fans (as you call yourselves)! The 62-year-old actress has been cast as Shia LaBeouf's mother in Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps, and it sounds like Michael Douglas will be kissin' her:

Sarandon will play the mother of a young Wall Street trader (Shia LaBeouf) who falls under the seductive influence of Gordon Gekko. Michael Douglas and Frank Langella also star. Production begins next month in New York.

So Sarandon will have birthed 23-year-old LaBeouf at age 39? I suppose that plays, so long as they add an updated quote where Gekko says, "Greed is good. As are the wonders of modern fertility drugs."

Susan Sarandon goes to 'Wall Street 2' [Variety]

Aug 5 2009 'Lovely Bones' Trailer: To Catch a Stanley Tucci

I've grown so used to having Dateline NBC's Chris Hansen around to stop all the world's predators, it's hard to remember a time before that--a pre-Hansen era when crimes against children still existed. Peter Jackson's The Lovely Bones takes us back to that time, the early '70s, when Hansen was still in school and Stanley Tucci was still able to rape and murder a girl without a camera crew busting in with some chat transcripts. The trailer has just been released, and it looks like the must-see dead-girl-watching-from-Heaven-as-Mark-Wahlberg-solves-her-murder film of the year.

UPDATE: Alright, I guess it's not on YouTube anymore. It's on the Apple, though.

May 9 2008 Watch: First Seven Minutes of 'Speed Racer'

0-:30 - Help! I'm trapped in a sponsored kaleidoscope! Phew, I'm out. Apparently that was just the portal to a Nickelodeon locker room.

:30-4:00 - The constant rhythmic movements, the paralyzing hallucinations, the guttural outbursts, the insane scribblings, the Asperger-level singular obsession mixed with complete social disregard: it's abundantly clear that childhood Speed has some serious mental issues to overcome. I can't wait to see how they address such crippling psychoses in a family movie.

4:00-end - Never mind. I guess we're going to ignore all that in favor of a sneak peek of Nintendo's upcoming F-Zero Played on the Wario's Coliseum Mario Kart Course.

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Mar 13 2008 New 'Speed Racer' Trailer is So Cool Beans

A new domestic trailer to Speed Racer has arrived, forcing some retro kitsch into its computer-generated candy world with the addition of a "cool beans!" moment. Aside from conspicuously dated slang, the new trailer also gives us disturbing hints of incest, and the shocking revelation that the protagonist--whose birth name is Speed Racer--has had an unnatural fascination with speed racing for his entire life. Who would have thought? Despite all the eye-roll-inducing dialogue--true to the series but not really much worse than Matrix lines--I'm finding myself strangely drawn to the Wachowskis' psychedelic, phsyics-free racing fantasy.

See some speed racing and Matthew Fox playing Racer X like an android Batman, under the cut.

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Mar 10 2008 Two New Internationally Epilepsy-Inducing 'Speed Racer' Trailers

Equal parts video game, hallucinogen, and exposition, two new international trailers for Speed Racer have found their way online in all their blinding, over-saturated glory. I don't know why the Wachowskis keep releasing trailers when it's obvious that the in-theater seizures are going to be the real publicity builders.

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Dec 7 2007 'Speed Racer' Trailer Simulates Brain of Juvenile Psychotics

Envision a jarring nightmare full of absurdly cliched dialogue, the Playstation game Wipeout, fan-fiction, epilepsy, ninjas, Michael Jackson's '80s wardrobe, all the worst parts of Star Wars: Episode I, and Maury Povich's ideal guest (a child who is both fat and prematurely aged), all filtered through the mind of a boy with ADHD. If you did it right, you're now pretty close to the trailer to Speed Racer, only more so.

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