Mar 2 2009 Old Woman Going to Jail Still Our Best Movie Concept
Your weekend box office results:
1. Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail - Tyler Perry's $16.5 million. Where will Madea go next? Only Tyler Perry's Brain knows.
2. Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience - $12.7 million. Did people not realize this was a concert EXPERIENCE? It's not just three religious brothers in tight pants and rolled-up jackets singing for people who Tivo the Disney Channel; IT'S AN EXPERIENCE.
3. Slumdog Millionaire - $12.2 million. Is this the Oscar movie? I've been wanting to see that Oscar movie with the Indian fellows! Is this it?? I know it was dog million-something! I think this is it!!
4. Taken - $10 million. Have you been Taken?
5. He's Just Not That Into You - $5.9 million. Has he not been that into you?
Also:
8. Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li - 4.7 million. Maybe a third try at a Street Fighting movie will be the charm.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Feb 16 2009 Balrog Hates Backing Into Spots
Happy Presidents Day! Your present is a new batch of Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li production stills! I point them out not because they look any better than the rest of the mundane crap we've seen from this movie but, rather, because they're so ridiculously mundane to the point of it being a joke. It's like even the marketing team is trying to keep expectations abysmally low. What is this, Michael Clarke Duncan parallel parking? That's almost as enticing as this shot of Bison sampling various fluids while staring directly at the camera. Or this one of Vega showing us his bare fist instead of the giant metal claw on his other hand. If this production releases any more photos, I'll be shocked if they're anything better than driver's license photos.
Jan 28 2009 'Street Fighter' Promo -- Also: Buy This Talisman Thing
Coming Soon has posted a new Japanese promo for Street Fighter that seems to also double as a keychain amulet commercial. If your fierce dedication to the fighting game franchise has somehow created a faint interest in this film, consider this brief montage another shot at disenfranchising yourself enough to stop caring. You'll end up really wanting the talisman they show at the end though--that thing is beautiful as hell.
Jan 21 2009 'Street Fighter' Poster Guy Read That 'Cool Scroll Effect' Tutorial
What are they waiting for on the poster where the Street Fighter characters are literally jumping out of the arcade console to the delighted surprise of a pair of 14-year-old video game players? They have to know that's what we want. Or at least what I want.
Jan 7 2009 'Street Fighter the Chun-Li' Trailer Gets Domestic
Since everyone was loving that Japanese version of the Street Fighter trailer from last week, here's the higher quality English edition from IGN. Now you can truly hear the powerful narration describing the delicate balance between two primary forces in our universe. Good and evil? Light and dark? So you'd think! No, it's beauty and terror. Those two are constantly at odds. The simultaneous existence of both Heidi Klum and Osama bin Laden is all that has kept our world from either plummeting into pure and utter terror or exploding in a makeup-filled rainbow of absolute beauty. That is why we must fight in streets to maintain that fragile equilibrium.
Continue Reading " 'Street Fighter the Chun-Li' Trailer Gets Domestic "
Jan 5 2009 'Street Fighter' Still Fighting For Us, With Posters
Let's start off the new year the right way: with another Street Fighter poster. If it's street fighting, why is Michael Clarke Duncan so prominently holding a gun? Is the bottom guy Iron Man? Have you ever tried simultaneously jump-kicking and jump-punching someone? Can I use this logo for my multicultural dojo? 2009 is going to be great.
The New Street Fighter Poster [Coming Soon]
Dec 29 2008 Welp, This Is What 'Street Fighter' Looks Like
Are you ready for some intense street fighting action? How about some fairly lame street fighting action of a quality that will have you continually asking when Steven Seagal is going to show up? Because that's what I have for you with the teaser trailer for Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li. The voice-over is all Japanese, but I'm pretty sure it's just someone repeatedly saying, "What were you expecting?"
And Bison has a goatee:
Continue Reading " Welp, This Is What 'Street Fighter' Looks Like "
Dec 2 2008 From 'Street Fighter': Chun-Li's Famous Thighs Looking Less Famous
Thanks to Matt for noting that Kotaku has posted the first photograph of Chun-Li's thighs from the new Street Fighter movie. Who are these people kidding? Those are not Chun-Li thighs. As a pre-pubescent at the time of Street Fighter's release, I became intimately, almost disgustingly familiar with Chun-Li's thighs, and these aren't them. Hers are thick, muscular, firm but with an underlying softness. That's why she's good at kicking things. Because of those magical thighs.
I'm willing to forgive some costume alterations, but upper leg diameter is non-negotiable.
Oct 13 2008 Japanese 'Street Fighter' Poster Told You Never to Come Here, Dad!
This is how they're marketing Street Fighter? A petulant youth staring at me like I'm her father who showed up to pick her up from the mall too early, embarrassing her in front of all her friends? That's awful.
Actually, come to think of it, shame might be the best way to sell a movie to much of Japan's male population, so good job, Team Street Fighter.
Japanese Street Fighter Poster [Coming Soon]
Jul 31 2008 First Look at Balrog from 'Street Fighter', or Maybe Just a Dude with a Gun
Man, they really nailed a couple of broad physical traits (being large, black), and totally got the name right. Street Fighter is definitely on the right track. I don't want to get too over-excited, but I have a feeling this is going to be The Dark Knight of video game movies. Except that the characters in this won't so much be darker, more realistic versions of themselves as much as completely unrecognizable. And instead of being hailed as a breakthrough in the genre, it will be shit.
New Set Photos: Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li [/Film]
May 23 2008 New 'Street Fighter' Shot: Chun-Li Looks Nothing Like You Remember
Why is this being made again? I mean, seriously. I know I've asked the same thing when I heard news of Shrek VI and 4 Fast 4 Furious and other ludicrous and largely-undesirable movies, but that was just me expressing my impotent rage--like how I'll scream "Why, God, WHY?!" when I learn I have a terminal illness, even though I already know the reason why (unhealthy living, various sins). But I really mean it this time. Why? Why would anyone choose to make a Street Fighter movie now?
I can understand the original attempt, which was hurriedly cashing in on the insane popularity of the video game in the early '90s, but surely interest has waned a bit over the last 15 years. Hasn't it? And it isn't like the game has some amazing storyline--I remember it being some people fighting for various reasons, like avenging a death, or proving sumo wrestling is OK--and the above shot (and this previous one) make it pretty apparent they're throwing the character design out the window, so what's left? A few names, the notion of fighting outdoors, a glimmer of nostalgia, and the ever-present shadow of a jump-kicking Jean-Claude Van Damme? What's the point?
I honestly don't know why someone thinks this is a good idea. If we've become so desperate for ideas that we're resorting to old video game franchises, let's at least move on to some we haven't tried yet. An Alvin and the Chipmunks-style Sonic the Hedgehog seems obvious enough. Let's get to it.
May 6 2008 New 'Street Fighter' Shot, Aaron Losing His Edge?
Is Aaron depressed? My favorite blogger, Aaron of the official Street Fighter movie blog, has updated the site with two new images--a shot of new character Det. Maya Sunee and a fighting storyboard. But more importantly, Aaron's hip, youthful jargon has been seriously downplayed, possibly hinting at emotional turmoil for the young writer. You may remember from previous posts that he usually litters his updates with rarely-used (but clearly radical) slang like "flyin' at ya," "flippin'," (as in a euphemistic "f***ing"), and the sure-to-catch-on "go all 'American Idol' on your asses." In sharp contrast, this latest post uses "you" four times instead of his traditional "ya"! What's up with that, A-Dawg? If he hadn't explained that Maya "rocks a Ducati," and used the edgy, Spanish version of "please" (por favor), I'd hardly be able to tell that Aaron is a secret government awesomeness experiment.
Under the cut: the new storyboard and his precious few attitude-filled quotes.
Continue Reading " New 'Street Fighter' Shot, Aaron Losing His Edge? "
Apr 21 2008 First Look at Gen from 'Street Fighter', Dude
My favorite radical dude blogger, Aaron, has a new post up on the Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li production blog. If you aren't familiar with Aaron, he's super awesome, and he's not above flaunting it. His hip, young vocabulary is incomprehensible to old squares, with words like "dude", "ya" (replacing "you"), "flippin'", and "wicked" dotting his writing with the same intense attitude as the pattern on his Skidz.
As you may recall, last week Aaron went "all 'American Idol' on [our] asses," nearly revealing who was going to play Gen only to coyly hold back. This week, he not only divulges the actor, he provides an image! It's Robin Shou, who previously played Liu Kang in Mortal Kombat, and is apparently taking the Uwe Boll route of building a career from horrible video game movies. My knowledge of Gen is limited to just now looking at an image of the character on Wikipedia, but Shou seems to be too young for the part. Hopefully someone with better street fighting knowledge can confirm or refute that. And now, in the immortal words of Aaron, "I’m out with a sonic BOOM!"
Week 2 [Aaron's Sweet Production Blog]
Apr 11 2008 'Street Fighter' Has a Flippin' Sweet New Production Blog
What up, dudes and dudettes? Are you totally stoked about Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li? Well, you totally will be after you read the rad new production blog by 24-year-old Aaron Horwitz ("comin' to ya live from Bangkok"), who is apparently somehow connected to the film. Judging by his first entry, he is either a robot programmed by a Sega Genesis ad, an idiot possessed by a Ninja Turtle, or speaking through a solution of Mountain Dew and the ashes of bygone MTV VJs. Here are some highlights:
I’ll be flyin’ at ya with exclusive scoops, stories, cast & crew interviews, artwork, set photos, and a ton of other Street Fighter kickbacks that you’ll find nowhere else on the planet. Maybe even some sweet video footage...Designer Michael Hanan (Blow, The Punisher, Ronin) creatin’ some crazy-cool sets, Cinematographer Geoff Boyle (Mutant Chronicles , The Dark Country) with some badass visuals, and cuttin’ up the action will be editor Derek Brechin...
Michael Clarke Duncan has been doing what he does best— smashing sh*t up and having a flippin’ blast doing it...
The integral role of GEN will be played by none other than……tune in next week to find out! Sorry to go all ‘American Idol’ on your asses...
It continues like that for quite a while, but really the only other relevant thing is the above "badass storyboard." Needless to say, I'm pretty flippin' excited for Aaron's next sweet installment, even if he did go all American Idol on my ass.
Street Fighter - The Legend of Chun Li Official Movie Blog [Official Site]
Feb 19 2008 'Street Fighter' Adds Duncan, Klein, Black Eyed Pea
After the worthless 1994 effort and every other awful video game movie to come out since, I didn't know it was possible to make me care less about a Street Fighter movie. Yet, somehow, they've found away: casting the incredible blandness of Chris Klein, Michael Clarke Duncan, and one of the Black Eyed Peas (also Rick Yune, whom I'm not familiar enough with to consider boring).
Kreuk, who plays Lana Lang in the CW's "Smallville," will star as martial artist Chun-Li. Duncan will play Balrog, while Klein is stepping into the role of Nash. Yune is taking on the mystical Gen.Rounding out the cast are Moon Bloodgood, Taboo from the Black Eyed Peas, Singapore's Edmund Chen and Hong Kong film star Cheng Pei Pei.
In a sense, it's genius casting. Dimensionless video game characters played by vaguely similar-looking dimensionless actors. And a Black Eyed Pea.
Kreuk, Duncan cruise 'Street' [Variety]
Dec 21 2007 Kristin Kreuk Pretends To Have the Powerful-Yet-Feminine Thighs of Chun-Li
As someone obsessed as a child, and who's recently been playing an embarrassing amount of Street Fighter II at a local bar, I can tell you with certainty that Smallville star Kristin Kreuk is not Chun-Li. Or shouldn't be, at least, despite news of her winning the role in Street Fighter: Legend of Chun-Li. Sure, she's a cutie, and appears to be at least partially of Asian descent, but that doesn't mean she's right to put on the spiked bracelets and pantyhose of my beloved Spinning-Bird Kicker. I have no real case against her; she's just not right. Better than Lucy Liu, I suppose, but not right.
Kristin Kreuk is Chun-Li in Street Fighter! [Coming Soon]
