May 27 2008 'Indiana Jones' Whips Weekend Competition, Using His Famous Whip
1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - A dutiful sense of responsibility combined with the subconscious desire to kill your idols brought Indiana Jones to $126 million, nestling it at #2, between Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End and X-Men: The Last Stand, on the chart of Horribly Disappointing Memorial Day Weekend Sequels.
2. The Chronciles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - The substantial drop to $28.6 million is widely thought to be related to Prince Caspian's running theme of not being Indiana Jones.
3. Iron Man - $25.7 million, which is still a ton when you consider that this is its fourth week, and that the film frequently digresses into quoting Swingers.
4. What Happens in Vegas... - $11.1 million, making it the most profitable marketing slogan-based movie since Where's the Beef? 2.
5. Speed Racer - $5.2 million, which isn't that bad if you disregard that it cost $120 million to cover Earth in a pupil-wrecking CGI lacquer.
May 19 2008 'Prince Caspian' Tops Box Office, Awaits SNL Parody Song
1. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - "And it shall make $56.6 million" - Matthew 4:17
2. Iron Man - With a third weekend of $31.2 million, it seems like everyone has gone to seen this thing. So I'm going to go ahead and give away the ending: Arnold Schwarzenegger wins the competition.
3. What Happens in Vegas... - I'm glad a $13.9 million weekend kept this in the top five with Prince Caspian; it greatly improves our chances of seeing a What Happens in Narnia... parody.
4. Speed Racer - Go, Speed Racer, go! Please, someone go. Signed, the Wachowskis. ($7.6 million)
5. Baby Mama - Holding on to the top five for a fourth week with $4.5 million, Baby Mama may be small but it refuses to go away. Just like an actual baby.
May 12 2008 'Speed' Racer Unable to Defeat 'Iron Man' Despite Inspirational Theme Song
1. Iron Man - Neither Speed nor Kutch could topple this giant, which still managed a $50.5 million weekend. They must not know Iron Man's weakness: magic rings or something, maybe?
2. Speed Racer - $20.2 million, all to find out what it's like to be stabbed in the eyes with a rainbow.
3. What Happens in Vegas... - $20 million in ticket sales. If you went, please explain why, and detail any hilarious, on-set Kutch-pranks that may be revealed during the credits.
4. Made of Honor - $7.6 million, coming in just ahead of Grüm's Man.
5. Baby Mama - $5.8 million--enough to just buy several black market babies, effectively avoiding the need for a baby mama.
May 9 2008 Watch: First Seven Minutes of 'Speed Racer'
0-:30 - Help! I'm trapped in a sponsored kaleidoscope! Phew, I'm out. Apparently that was just the portal to a Nickelodeon locker room.
:30-4:00 - The constant rhythmic movements, the paralyzing hallucinations, the guttural outbursts, the insane scribblings, the Asperger-level singular obsession mixed with complete social disregard: it's abundantly clear that childhood Speed has some serious mental issues to overcome. I can't wait to see how they address such crippling psychoses in a family movie.
4:00-end - Never mind. I guess we're going to ignore all that in favor of a sneak peek of Nintendo's upcoming F-Zero Played on the Wario's Coliseum Mario Kart Course.
Continue Reading " Watch: First Seven Minutes of 'Speed Racer' "
Mar 19 2008 'Speed Racer' Character/Mannequin Posters
Yahoo! has posted some new character posters for Speed Racer, giving us fresh looks at Christina Ricci as Trixie, Matthew Fox as Racer X, and, our star, Buddy the Magical Doll Boy. See the rest here.
Mar 13 2008 New 'Speed Racer' Trailer is So Cool Beans
A new domestic trailer to Speed Racer has arrived, forcing some retro kitsch into its computer-generated candy world with the addition of a "cool beans!" moment. Aside from conspicuously dated slang, the new trailer also gives us disturbing hints of incest, and the shocking revelation that the protagonist--whose birth name is Speed Racer--has had an unnatural fascination with speed racing for his entire life. Who would have thought? Despite all the eye-roll-inducing dialogue--true to the series but not really much worse than Matrix lines--I'm finding myself strangely drawn to the Wachowskis' psychedelic, phsyics-free racing fantasy.
See some speed racing and Matthew Fox playing Racer X like an android Batman, under the cut.
Continue Reading " New 'Speed Racer' Trailer is So Cool Beans "
Mar 10 2008 Two New Internationally Epilepsy-Inducing 'Speed Racer' Trailers
Equal parts video game, hallucinogen, and exposition, two new international trailers for Speed Racer have found their way online in all their blinding, over-saturated glory. I don't know why the Wachowskis keep releasing trailers when it's obvious that the in-theater seizures are going to be the real publicity builders.
Continue Reading " Two New Internationally Epilepsy-Inducing 'Speed Racer' Trailers "
Jan 17 2008 First Look at Speed Racer's Vehicular Rival
According to Rocket Punch, a deal has been struck with Warner Bros. to allow Speed Racer to compete against an actual Japanese racing team--Autobacs Racing Team Aguri. (You know, the mortal enemies of the Decepticacs Racing Team.) In Japan, I wonder if this is equivalent to saying the 1992 Chicago Bulls will be the rival for a Harlem Globetrotters movie. I like to think so.
More angles of the plastic car are under the cut.
Thanks for the tip, Wendy.
Continue Reading " First Look at Speed Racer's Vehicular Rival "
Dec 18 2007 AM Poster Post: 'Speed Racer' at Groin Level
From the creators of The Matrix trilogy comes another unbelievable world full of guys plastered in leather and latex, but this time it's also sort of like a bleary-eyed look at a Christmas Tree.
Speed Racer Poster! [JoBlo]
Dec 7 2007 'Speed Racer' Trailer Simulates Brain of Juvenile Psychotics
Envision a jarring nightmare full of absurdly cliched dialogue, the Playstation game Wipeout, fan-fiction, epilepsy, ninjas, Michael Jackson's '80s wardrobe, all the worst parts of Star Wars: Episode I, and Maury Povich's ideal guest (a child who is both fat and prematurely aged), all filtered through the mind of a boy with ADHD. If you did it right, you're now pretty close to the trailer to Speed Racer, only more so.
Continue Reading " 'Speed Racer' Trailer Simulates Brain of Juvenile Psychotics "
Dec 6 2007 'Speed Racer' Images Resemble Cough Syrup Experiences
Since the Wachowskis announced they were making a live-action adaptation of Speed Racer, there's been a lot of speculation and doubt as to how well they could translate the anime. It turns out our worries were completely unfounded. Just like you'd want, it looks exactly like a spaceman having a psychotic episode while half in a spectroscope, half in a Hot Wheels commercial.
And more under the cut!
Continue Reading " 'Speed Racer' Images Resemble Cough Syrup Experiences "
Dec 5 2007 'Speed Racer' Behind-the-Scenes with Racer X
In this Entertainment Tonight exclusive--one of the few that doesn't reference "TomKat"--get your first look at Matthew Fox as Racer X, and see Emile Hirsch, as the titular Speed Racer, deliver provocative dialogue from under a goofy wig.
Now I see why, despite the pleas of fans, directors often choose to alter the look of comic book/anime characters for film. As it turns out, using the actual costumes makes it seem like we've stumbled into a strange celebrity cos-play convention, producing the same awkward emotions as if you saw a co-worker dressed like a Jedi. It starts with the feeling of "Oh god, they're one of those," then ascends to "Oh god, I wish I hadn't seen them like this. Are we supposed to just act like this didn't happen?"
Still though, good job being uncomfortably accuracy. Maybe it will seem less weird on film.
Continue Reading " 'Speed Racer' Behind-the-Scenes with Racer X "
Nov 14 2007 First Look at Pop in 'Speed Racer'
A Hungarian movie site has managed to get the first look at John Goodman as Pop in the Wachowskis' Speed Racer adaptation, seen here posing with his stunt double. But... what else could this shot be???
- Newspaper advertisement for Popov Bros. Body Shop.
- Third annual "I'm the Pringles Guy!" golf tournament, sponsored by Pringles.
- Catalog page from J. Crew's new Husky Crew collection. (page 4, The Chubby Polo, electric blue pictured.)
- Adorably matching older gay couple, Tim and Tim.
- John Goodman finally settling a bet that he's bustier than this other guy.
Műhassal és John Goodmannel [Cinematrix]
Aug 29 2007 A Pile of Movie News
- While Corey Feldman is in Vancouver shooting his part in the Lost Boys sequel, Corey Haim has yet to leave the US, citing immigration problems getting in and out of the country. In other words, Canada can't handle that much awesome at once. [MTV]
- Susan Sarandon said in a recent junket that Speed Racer is using special cameras that will keep everything in the frame in focus through layering images. How soon until this reaches the porn industry, allowing the guy giving it to her from behind to sneer with the same clarity as the guy masturbating in front of them? Not soon enough. [Collider]
- Variety reports that Owen Wilson's recent suicide attempt and hospitalization "are throwing a major monkeywrench into production of two movies and causing marketing headaches for two more." Obviously written by the same reporter that said, "9/11 attacks throw nearby souvenir shops into tizzy." [Variety]
- George Lucas has hired John Ridley to write Red Tails, a film about the first African-American fighter pilots, the Tuskegee Airmen. Writing the latest Star Wars trilogy must have used up all of Lucas's amazingly realistic and believable dialogue. [Variety]
- Oliver Stone is set to direct Pinkville, yet another Vietnam war piece following his previous efforts of Platoon, Heaven & Earth, Born on the Fourth of July, and the seldom-seen family sitcom Viet-Moms. [Variety]
Jul 2 2007 Monkey Hate Movie
My life-sized Jerry Bruckheimer cutout really comes in handy on Monkey Target Practice Day. Great shot, Mr. Farnsworth! Care for a smoke?
PETA claims to have received reports from the set of the Wachowski Brothers' Speed Racer that the chimp actor playing Chim-Chim was beaten after biting one of the actors.
A movie spokesperson confirmed that a chimp did chomp on a young actor, but said that the actor was treated and the animal was given a rest. She sent along assurances from the American Humane Society that no animals were being abused.
PETA reportedly isn't satisfied with these assurances, and is pushing producer Joel Silver to replace the live monkey with something more humane, like animatronics, or Russell Crowe.
Freaked out monkeys, a transsexual director, dominatrix mistresses - Jesus, it sounds like Michael Jackson's birthday party down there. The monkey wrangler obviously forgot the first rule of chimp handling - get your ape addicted to tobacco. Nothing soothes an angry primate like a relaxing cigarette.
Jul 2 2007 Richard Roundtree Joins Speed Racer
Richard Roundtree has scored a role in the Wachowskis' live-action adaptation of Speed Racer as Ben Burns, a former racer turned commentator, leaving me and the rest of the movie news community scrambling for a way to fit the acquisition of this part into the "Theme from Shaft" lyrics. I decided to try for the "he's a complicated man..." part.
He's a former racing man,
but now he is a racing commentator.
Ben Burns!
I guess that works.
May 31 2007 Speed Racer's Mach 5
Finally it looks like an adaptation is willing to trust its source material, with this first shot of the Mach 5 from the Wachowski Brothers' Speed Racer movie looking quite similar to the anime original. I admire how faithful they're staying, but part of me wishes they'd gone with something more similar to a '94 Ford Taurus wagon. Maybe then people would stop the mockery once they saw I was just a paint job away from driving the Mach 5, instead of a '94 Ford Taurus wagon.
