Nov 5 2009 Risk: The Film of World Domination

Realizing there were still board games not yet arbitrarily being made into feature films, Sony announced yesterday they had purchased the movie rights to Risk. Because moving representative armies around a board and getting angry with your backstabbing friends for several hours is a good movie plot:

Sony Pictures announced today it's acquired the motion picture rights to the board game of world conquest, "Risk", from Hasbro. Doug Belgrad and Matt Tolmach, presidents of Columbia Pictures, say the film will be produced and developed by Hasbro’s Brian Goldner and Bennett Schneir and Overbrook Entertainment's James Lassiter. Belgrad pointed to the success of movies from toys Transformers and G.I. Joe (but not to the dismal movie from the board game Clue) to claim audiences have "shown a great desire for films that bring to life everything that has made these franchise properties stand the test of time."

Screenwriters, I suggest you start the story in Australia and move on from there. Unless you're starting with a great plot foundation in North or South America, in which case just go for it there.

Jul 20 2009 Don't Worry, Michael Jackson Will Be in Theaters Soon

Not so fast, Michael Jackson's corpse! There's still meat to suck off them bones!

Variety reports Sony is close to negotiating a $50 million deal that would allow them access to the 80 hours of footage of the late pop star's final rehearsals currently held by AEG Entertainment. If the deal goes through, the studio plans to release the rehearsal as a feature film that would also include "at least three videos, including an alternative version of Jackson's Thriller." (This version, perhaps?) Kenny Ortega, director of High School Musical, shot the rehearsal tapes and will likely direct.

Boy, I didn't care at all about seeing a Michael Jackson concert a month ago, but now that I know every Moonwalk will like watching a spirit shuffle backwards into his own waiting grave, sign me up!

Mar 27 2009 Sony (the Headphone Guys) Joins Gervais & Merchant Film

You're fanatical about The Office (UK) and Extras, right? Let's say you are, because otherwise you aren't going to care about this trivial update about Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant's new film:

Sony has boarded Ricky Gervais' "The Men at the Pru."

Pic will be the second U.K. production to come out of the Sony Intl. Motion Picture Production Group, run by Deborah Schindler.

Project is a coming-of-age tale about a group of men working at an insurance company in the 1970s.

Gervais is co-writing, directing and producing with longtime creative partner Stephen Merchant.

Gervais will also have a supporting role in the pic, which is set to go into production later this summer.

Also of minor note, despite Variety referring to the film as The Men at the Pru, Gervais says the title is still up in the air, adding that Cemetery Junction is the current favorite.

It's a really slow news day, if you couldn't tell.

Jan 26 2009 'Green Hornet' Troubles!

Ut oh for The Green Hornet! HitFix is reporting that Seth Rogen's bewildering, chubbier take on the action hero is in trouble:

Ever since Stephen Chow started to waffle about his participation in the film, I've been hearing rumors that there were major hesitations at Sony. Then at Sundance, I heard several people say that the film was off completely. I spoke this afternoon with a source close to the film, and while they didn't call it completely dead, they did say it is "highly unlikely" that the film will shoot in 2009 at all.

Of course, the good news is this clears the way for a CGI/live-action hybrid version wherein Will Smith plays the voice of a CGI hornet fighting crime alongside his feline sidekick, Cat-O. That sounds more like the vision of the Green Hornet my mom wants to rent.

Jan 21 2009 End of the World Delayed a Few Months

Oh man. I hope you haven't made your post-watching-2012 Olive Garden reservations yet, because we're going to have to wait until November to see Roland Emmerich's the-world-is-ending-in-three-years! movie. From Variety:

Sony is pushing back the release of Roland Emmerich's actioner "2012" from July 10 to Nov. 13, the same date the studio used to launch the previous two James Bond pics.

Sony prexy of worldwide distribution Rory Bruer said the studio has a very strong summer slate -- including tentpole "Angels and Demons" (May 15) and Denzel Washington-John Travolta actioner "The Taking of Pelham One Two Three" (June 12) -- and it made sense to move "2012" to November.

Also, Sony has international distribution rights to McG's "Terminator: Salvation," which opens day-and-date on May 22. Warners is releasing domestically.

I guess my concerns about the impending apocalypse will have to remain vague and visually unrealized for an extra four months. I've been assuming locusts would be involved. There will probably be locusts, right?

Nov 3 2008 Someone Might Pay for 'Tintin' After All

You may recall, back in September, Universal told Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson, "Look, buds, you've made some great films, and we plan to re-buy them on Blu-Ray, but we're not going to give you $130 million dollars and 30% gross revenue to make a few films about some Belgian comic that isn't all that popular here." Now it looks like Sony and Paramount have stepped in, and might co-finance the films despite losing the prospective star:

Sony Pictures Entertainment and Paramount Pictures are in talks to co-finance "Tintin," Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson’s digital 3-D pic based on the Belgian "Tintin" comics.

While neither Sony nor Paramount would comment, both confirmed talks are under way for one film.

Spielberg had hoped to be in production by fall. However, when financing fell apart at U on the eve of the DreamWorks/Par divorce, he lost the participation of his lead actor, Thomas Sangster.

Well, guys, if this doesn't work out, there's always being selected as a contestant 130 times and playing all perfect games on Howie Mandel's Pick a Box. That's what I always consider my greatest possibility of making enough money to get haircuts.

Sony, Paramount financing 'Tintin' [Variety]

Jul 31 2008 Sony Figures They Might as Well Make a Venom Movie

If one looks at superhero comic movies as a trend, like pogs, we're getting to the point where 7-11 Slurpee cups come with pogs attached; and there's a small kiosk near your mall's Sunglass Hut devoted entirely to pogs and pog storage; and every time you go to school, kids are asking if you have any new pogs, or want to trade pogs, but probably still don't care that much about playing pogs; and you're looking at your room, strewn with thin, strangely expensive cardboard discs, and you're like, don't get me wrong, I love pogs (for at least a couple more weeks), but fuck, why are there so many pogs?

Case in point: Sony has announced they'll be making a Spider-Man spinoff focusing on Venom. From Hollywood Reporter:

The studio had commissioned a draft of the [Venom] script from Jacob Estes, a writer of the specialty film "Mean Creek," released several years ago by Paramount Classics.

But the studio is considering going in a different direction from Estes' script and is seeking writers for a new draft.

Casting also is no simple matter. Topher Grace played the character in the film, but agents have been eyeing the role for their clients, as Sony is not yet convinced the actor can carry a tentpole picture.

Ignoring that it will almost surely be terrible in its execution, it's not even that bad of an idea, really. It's just that in a few years we're going to have to explain to the next generation why we have so many of these discs that we never touch, and I'm not sure I have the answers.

Feb 19 2008 DVD Format Wars Over: Blu-ray Wins

Well, the so-called format wars are over. Despite holding the more culturally significant name, HD DVD has lost the battle against Sony's Blu-ray technology, with Toshiba formally announcing their resignation from the battle today. Early adopters of new technology, half of you have been f***ed yet again.

Now HD DVD faces another uphill struggle: winning the crown of most-comedically-referenced dead format from Betamax, the title-holder for over 20 years. Just as Warner's support proved crucial in the success of Blu-ray, HD DVD will need Family Guy on their side if they hope to win this one.

Toshiba bows out of HD DVD fight [Variety]

Oct 8 2007 'EverQuest' Players Tempted to Leave Home by 'EverQuest' Movie

A probable conversation that has occurred, according to this article about the probabily of an EverQuest movie at IGN:

Sony: Hey, former Marvel Studios producer Avi Arad. We should make a movie based on a video game. Those are always good.

Arad: Yes, they are. I won't ask you to name any specific video game movies that were good--it's common knowledge--so let's just move forward. Which game?

Sony: We were thinking EverQuest because 90% of the game is an exhausting, tedious leveling-up process that only the most dedicated geeks are willing to bother with for over a week, and even most of them have now moved on to World of Warcraft.

Arad: Sounds great. What's the story?

Sony: Some elaborate fantasy bullshit, but no one really pays that much attention to it because it's like a homework assignment to figure out who to talk to and where to go to put together much of a plot. And again, most users are too caught up in the non-stop battling and traveling to keep track.

Arad: Is there pretty universal appeal to this game then?

Sony: Absolutely not. Those rare few non-nerds that have heard of it only use that knowledge to mock the nerds they know who play it. The marketing campaign would consist entirely of comparisons to Lord of the Rings, because EverQuest also has elves and dwarfs and that kind of crap.

Arad: Where do I sign?

If you couldn't tell, I may have played EverQuest for a short, regretful period of celibacy.

EverQuest Movie Scoop! [IGN]