Nov 19 2009 Yet Another Movie Poster You Won't Believe Is Real (But It Is!)

Like Old Dogs, Crazy on the Outside is one of those rare, terminal illness-style films that shows up seemingly out of nowhere and is so shocking, so heinous, that I just can't believe--refuse to believe--no matter what the charts/posters say, can really be happening. How were there no symptoms, no articles in Variety? This is for real? Crazy on the Outside is incurable at this point in the marketing cycle? And Tim Allen DIRECTED it, too? I didn't even know such a thing could happen. It's going to take a while to come to terms with all this.

Also, how is J.K. Simmons on the poster but not Kelsey Grammer? Has Law & Order's Skoda somehow become a more popular psychiatrist than Frasier Crane? Oh, how the mighty have fallen, and been forced to star in half a season of Hank.

Crazy on the Outside Poster [ComingSoon]

Nov 13 2009 I Think This Is a Newish 'Avatar' Trailer

If you still can't get enough of seeing Sam Worthington's wheelchairing and blue cat people with glowing freckles, here's a relatively new trailer for Avatar. I guess it was run during Fox's last airing of Glee, so it's as old as whenever it is Glee is on. I'll have to check which day on my calendar is marked with a hand doing an "L" thing.

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Oct 29 2009 'Avatar' Theatrical Trailer: Officially This Time

Here it is, nerds: the full-length trailer for James Cameron's big-deal sci-fi action goddammer, Avatar. Print out a copy so dad can see it too.

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Oct 23 2009 New Trailer for James Cameron's Blue Alien Movie

Johnny Legal Department doesn't want us to have this until next week, but, thanks to bootleggers, the new trailer for a certain highly-anticipated sci-fi adventure involving blue cat people is on internet. Hurry, before it's not!

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Aug 26 2009 New 'Avatar' Avatar: The Sigourney Weavatar

MarketSaw has put up some scans from the new issue of Empire Magazine, giving a first look at Sigourney Weaver in her blue alien form. I have to say, they really nailed Weaver's pointed features and prominent lower teeth, though I'm a bit disappointed to see the avatars apparently take on the features of their human consciousnesses. If becoming a Na'vi is just going to make me look like a blue version of myself, I'll stick with auto-erotic asphyxiation, thank you.

(via Cinematical)

Aug 20 2009 'Avatar' Trailer: It Will Destroy Everything You Hold Dear! I Guess.

James Cameron's Avatar is being called everything from "a gamechanger" to "a life destroyer" to "something that will forcefully fill every one of your orifices with three-dimensionalness." The film's first trailer has finally been released, so now you can see what all the fanboy catcalls were all about. I guess the game changing part is that this is the first forest species to look slightly more convincing than Ewoks?

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May 20 2009 'Ghostbusters 3' Has Sigourney Weaver, Maybe Some Babes

Still no word on which historical landmark will come to life with the aid of ectoplasm and Jackie Wilson, but there is some news on the Ghostbusters 3 front. Dan Aykroyd talked to the LA Times Hero Complex about the project's development, and had these updates:

• Sigourney Weaver has finally signed on, joining Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Ernie Hudson, and longtime holdout Bill Murray.
• Ghostbusters director Ivan Reitman, however, is most likely not in; Aykroyd hopes Ramis, who directed Groundhog Day and the upcoming Year One, might take the helm.
• Aykroyd is looking forward to Ghostbusters 3 serving as a "passing-of-the-torch" film, introducing a five-member next generation team, specifically mentioning Alyssa Milano and Eliza Dushku. In other word, Aykroyd thinks ghosts should be busted by hot babes and/or is under the misguided impression that calling Alyssa Milano and Eliza Dushku "amazing" might get him laid with them.
• The film "could be in production by winter."

Questions still unanswered:

• Will Rick Moranis's spastic Louis Tully return? Annie Potts?
• Will the next generation of Ghostbusters have to face the dickless Walter Peck?
• Will there ever be a better Ghostbusters soundtrack song than Bobby Brown's "On Our Own"?
• How would destroying the Vigo the Carpathian painting at the end of Ghosbusters 2 possibly result in a new, Renaissance-style painting of the Ghostbusters team in period garb? I'll suspend my disbelief for the walking Statue of Liberty, but that's just nuts.

Topping "On Our Own" is clearly impossible, but I'd really love some answers to the rest of my questions.

Dec 8 2008 Scott, Weaver working on Aliens Movie Sans Alien?

Sigourney Weaver has been doing some chatting with MTV, during which it was revealed she's talked with Ridley Scott about the two returning to the Alien franchise. If I had to name one thing that seemed odd about their conversation about another Alien, I'd say it's that they might be eliminating the whole alien thing:

"We’d have to go back to the drawing board on [the alien],” she said. “Ridley said that right away when we first talked about [a fifth film].”

And finally, the quote that’s gotten me mighty curious, “What we’re interested in is taking the character of Ripley and seeing what other science fiction story we can tell about someone who has lived several lives.”

I didn’t really process what Weaver was saying at the time I suppose but it sounds to me like we might be less looking at “Alien 5″ and more of “Chronicles of Ripley.”

The participation of original Alien director Ridley Scott makes this better than most spin-off cash-in attempts, but let's not forget that Steven Spielberg was also involved in a questionable attempt at bringing back a action hero now in their 60s back to screens, and that didn't work out that well.

Personally, I'd rather have a spin-off starring that horrible, pale human/alien hybrid from Resurrection. That thing filled my mental inbox with nightmares that I'm still sorting through. You put that guy in a suburban neighborhood with a samurai sword and you've just created a six-movie franchise. I think it works for either horror or comedy.

Nov 6 2008 New 'Tale of Despereaux' Trailer Bans Soup, Rats

Here's the new trailer for Tale of Despereaux, the animated movie involving difficult-to-spell CGI rodents and soup that isn't Ratataouille. Summary!

Once upon a time, in the faraway kingdom of Dor, there was magic in the air, laughter aplenty and gallons of mouthwatering soup. But an accident left the King broken-hearted, the Princess filled with longing and the townsfolk without their soup. Sunlight disappeared. The world became gray. All hope was lost in this land…until Despereaux Tilling was born.

A modern fairy tale from visionary filmmaker Gary Ross, together with directors Sam Fell & Rob Stevenhagen, The Tale of Desperaux tells the story of several unlikely heroes: Despereaux (Matthew Broderick), a brave mouse banished to the dungeon for speaking with a human; Roscuro (Dustin Hoffman), a good-hearted rat who loves light and soup, but is exiled to darkness; Pea (Emma Watson), a Princess in a gloomy castle who is prisoner to her father’s grief; and Mig (Tracey Ullman), a servant girl who longs to be a Princess, but is forced to serve the jailer (Robbie Coltrane).

My issue with this movie is that, if you watch the trailer, you see its entire plot hinges on the king banning rats and soup from his kingdom, which makes no sense. How do you ban rats? Tell them they're banned? Make little "no rats" signs? There's no way to ban rats. As far as I'm concerned, rats have always been banned. I have never willfully accepted co-habitating with rats. For me, a rat ban does not work as a plot device.

And don't even get me started on banning soup. No legitimate king would ever ban soup. Monarchies are too historically rooted in Panera Bread franchises to ever allow that kind of drastic change.

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