Sep 5 2007 Shoot 'Em Up Intercourse/Gunfight Scene
I knew when I saw the trailer (posted above) that Shoot 'Em Up was going to be full of testosterone-driven, ridiculously unbelievable action scenes, and, honestly, I was kind of looking forward to that. But, brother, I had no idea. In this tasteful scene, Clive Owen is having sex with Monica Bellucci when some masked characters, clearly evil, enter. Clive proceeds to exchange gunfire with the men, killing them all, while continuing to bring Monica to orgasm. You'll be amazed with what can happen when believability is thrown out the window in exchange for graphic sex and violence.
Warning: Clip is not safe for work due to Clive Owen having sex with Monica Bellucci while shooting people.
Shoot 'Em Up Sex Clip [IESB]
Jul 6 2007 Shoot 'Em Up Trailer: Tits, Fire, and Motley Crüe
T 'N F
Shoot 'Em Up stars Clive Owen, Paul Giamatti, and Monica Bigtitserino, looks like a cross between Snatch and Smokin' Aces, and was written and directed by Michael Davis, a dude I've never really heard of before. I'll be honest, the trailer looks promising. It reminds me of the day when action movies, even the shitty ones, had over the top bad guys, awesome one liners, and of course plenty of tits and fire. This was before people like Jerry Bruckheimer replaced these things with inane plot twists, talking animals, and Nic Cage.
After at least half a decade of piece of shit, PG-13, Paul Walker vehicles*, perhaps this is a return to form? Let's hope so. But I also remember thinking the Independence Day trailer looked awesome, so who knows.
*From Encyclopedia of Stuff Vince Hates, Volume P
Jul 2 2007 Shoot 'Em Up Character Posters
As if Monica Belluci wasn't already one of the most beautiful women on the planet, the character posters for Shoot 'Em Up have knocked her up a notch with the implication that she's savagely murdered a militant dwarf.
See the Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti posters under the cut, and the trailer is here if you have no idea what Shoot 'Em Up is.
Jun 27 2007 Clive Owen Forced to Hold Babies to be as Attractive as Me
Owen was full of murderous intent until the baby ghost of Jerry Garcia floated up from the floorboards and taught him a thing or two about peace, love, and onesies.
In Michael Davis' upcoming Shoot 'Em Up, the gimmick is Clive Owen carrying a newborn baby during a gunfight for much of the movie. It would've been easier to just do a documentary about me, as I often cradle newborns in my arms while bedding supermodels, beating up terrorists using only my feet, and arm wrestling manatees - but I digress.
The rub here is that the babies will be real, not fake steaming piles of CGI, like in Children of Men. Says Davis:
If we would have shot here in LA, the rule of shooting with an infant is that they can only be in front of the camera for a half hour a day. I didn't know that. But, when we went up to Canada, the babies could work for eight hours a day. They can work 15 minutes on in front of the camera and then they need a 20 minute break. But, we had twins so virtually we could have a baby whenever we wanted. It eased it up a lot.
Have a baby whenever he wants, who is this guy, Kevin Federline? *rimshot* Anyway, I'm glad he was able to shoot with those commies up there in Canuck-land, whose child labor laws are notoriously lax. Might as well have shot the movie in China. Babies there are already working in sweat shops and doing kung fu. Then again, maybe that's why kids grow up to be such pussies in LA.
Jun 6 2007 Shoot 'Em Up Trailer
"Shoot 'Em Up" takes its title literally.
Real men (and butch women) should watch this new trailer to Shoot 'Em Up. It's like someone finally listened to me when I said, "There should be a movie where there's this awesome dude who's, like, an expert with guns and shit, and he goes around with all these sweet guns shooting bad guys." They even cast Clive Owen as the awesome dude, who we all know is ok to have a bit of a male crush on!
Apr 5 2007 Shoot 'Em Up Shots
As if the astoundingly brilliant IMDB summary isn't enough (a man named Mr. Smith delivers a woman's baby during a shootout, and is then called upon to protect the newborn from the army of gunmen), these shots of stars Clive Owen, Monica Bellucci, and Paul Giamatti in Shoot 'Em Up make me think this might be more than just a typical action film. Mainly because Clive Owen appears to be eating a carrot during a standoff.
More under the cut.
Sep 19 2006 Shoot 'Em Up Promo Reel Delivers on Promise
Latino Review now has in its critical, hispanic hands the promo reel to the new Clive Owen/Paul Giamatti action movie Shoot 'Em Up. Judging from the amount of shoot 'em ups in just this short piece, this may be the most appropriately named movie since All Doggystyle, All the Time IX, which was exactly what it sounds like. This is what Home Alone 3 should have been.
