Jun 9 2008 'Kung Fu Panda' Messes with 'Zohan', Thus Winning Box Office
1. Kung Fu Panda - That this is both making a lot of money and getting pretty decent reviews confuses and angers me. ($60 million.)
2. You Don't Mess with the Zohan - The second-place, $40 million gross could have been much higher had Zohan opened last week, before Sandler's remaining fan base graduated middle school.
3. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - The addition of another $22.8 million brings Indiana Jones to a total gross of $253,026,000. So yeah, George Lucas will order the deluxe veggie burger.
4. Sex and the City - $21.3 million and untold gallons of estrogen.
5. The Strangers - $9.2 million, easily topping competing horror movies The Loose Acquaintances and Let's Get Out of Here: I Think I Met That Dude at a Party, But I Really Don't Want to Talk to Him Again.
Jun 2 2008 'Sex and the City' Seen by Many, Many Women
1. Sex and the City - $55.7 million--and they're spending it all on shoes! Here we go again!
2. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - $46 million, a drop in profit that reflects just how frightened the Indiana Jones fans were of the Sex and the City fans.
3. The Strangers - $20.7 million, falling short of the expectation that it would somehow beat two extremely well-known and popular franchises whose fans have waited years for a movie.
4. Iron Man - $14 million, with many re-watching the film to see the after-the-credits scene where Robert Downey Jr. rolls around in money laughing.
5. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - Families looking to avoid sex and violence turned to Prince Caspian, which only contains a couple scenes of an undead lion smiting non-believers, earning $13 million.
Apr 28 2008 'Sex and the City' Poster: Carrie Streetwalks in a Couple Ways
This image of Sex and the City's Carrie Bradshaw--her chiseled head a drifting longboat in a sea of hair, her sinewy frame shrouded in the pelt of Grover, her shopping powers growing since her acquisition of the Chanel Talisman of Fashion--is only made tolerable by the knowledge she will soon be hit by a cab.
Final Sex and the City: The Movie Poster [First Showing]
Apr 24 2008 'Sex and the City' Theme Song Forces Decision Between Labels and Love
Usually when I hear the familiar piano riff of the Sex and the City theme, I have an immediate Pavlovian response, my hands punch frantically at the remote, and the channel is changed before I have to hear even a note of the vibraphone part. But today when that jaunty tune entered in my eardrums, I found that changing the channel was having no effect on its presence. It was a bit horrifying. What was going on? Was this song going to be permanently in my head? And why did it sound like a MIDI version with terrible singing over it?
As it turns out, the problem was that I had blindly clicked on a YouTube link someone sent me. It has since been removed, but once held Fergie's Sex and the City theme song. "Doesn't Sex and the City already have a theme song?" you ask? You forget that something as grandiose as Sex and the City Movie Version--like a Bond film--warrants a special theme from a debatably popular artist, such as Fergie crooning her way through designer names and made-up descriptions of sexiness (I swear she said "supercalifregisexy") as she answers one of the great questions of life: "Labels or Love"? It's really awful. But if you'd like, you too can give "LoL" a listen at this People article, which also includes Fergie's claim that she "grew up watching Sex and the City." As BWE pointed out, she was between 23 and 29 when the series aired.
Feb 26 2008 'Sex and the City' Extended Depression Trailer
Non-stop conversations about men, clothes, and "fairy tale endings", a mobile phone descending like a gun in a John Woo film, a Winnebago of camp, Sarah Jessica Parker--I must be watching the new Sex and the City trailer, though I'm not sure why. If you've been waiting for that special preview that would be as grandiose as Carrie's fantasy closet ("a really big closet," she explains), here it is. Plot elements revealed include: Carrie is marrying "Big", but is more about concerned with making big/"Big" puns than the actual wedding; the dark-haired one has an asian child that she grooms like a chimp; ostrich-like one's husband may have cheated on her, and she has pubic hair; and, most surprisingly, a sultry Don Henley cover is the official soundtrack of a wealthy, stylish menopause.
Thanks, Diina.
Extended Sex and the City Trailer [Jezebel]
Jan 17 2008 'Sex and the City' Poster Fills Rhinestone, Pun Quotas
I'm sorry it's low resolution, but I needed to post what will clearly be the most apt poster of 2008. Nothing embodies the spirit of Sex and the City like terrible puns and a dense coating of rhinestones. I mean, seriously, "Get Carried Away"? It's almost too good. Only "Carrie On My Wayward Mare" could have made me any happier.
'Sex and the City' Movie Poster [Just Jared]
Dec 7 2007 'Sex and the City' Trailer Set in Post-Apocalyptic Fashion-verse
After a three-year hiatus that left us with a hole in our hearts the shape of a horse's head, Sarah Jessica Parker, the old slutty one from Mannequin, the one with brown hair, and the ostrich-looking one have returned to screens to talk about men and, you know, date and wear stuff.
I appreciate that it provides a vision of exactly what it would look like if Sarah Jessica Parker's torso was consumed by a flower, but did we need to see her clad only in underwear and a cardigan? No. No, we didn't. Warning: it looks like the corpse of a reverse-centaur at a Victoria's Secret show.
An insincere thanks to everyone who sent this.
Continue Reading " 'Sex and the City' Trailer Set in Post-Apocalyptic Fashion-verse "
Oct 3 2007 Some Other Crap That Happened...
- More pictures from the Sex and the City set reveal Carrie appears to be marrying Mr. Big in the same garish, over-the-top manner as the rest of the show. [The Superficial]
- Rumor is spreading that McG, director of the Charlie's Angels franchise, is attached to direct Terminator 4. Just as soon as he can find a way to stretch cute boy underwear over liquid metal. [CHUD]
- IMDB added a new character profiles to the database, allowing users to see who has played a particular character and in what films or shows the character has appeared. This will aid me in my quest to see every movie featuring the character of "topless slut." [IMDB]
- Gullermo del Toro may finally get to shoot his passion project, At the Mountains of Madness, adapted from the Lovecraft novel. This drastically decreases my hopes of seeing a reality series about that Pan's Labyrinth guy with the eyes in his hands. [Latino Review]
- Natalie Portman will star in Brothers alongside Jake Gyllenhaal and Tobey Maguire, who play some sort of blood relatives. [Variety]
- Over 2,000 production stills, production budget, breakdowns, and other top-secret materials were stolen from the set of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. TMZ will have the Jones Sex Tape posted within the hour. [IESB]
Oct 2 2007 'Sex and the City': Now with Dreamgirl and Pervert!
Personally, I'm not a fan of Sex and the City, but I do respect that it gives menopausal woman an outlet for their latent fantasies. I pray such a thing will exist when I'm 40, depicting middle-aged men engaged in lightsaber battles, miracle football plays, and sex with strippers. Until that show arrives (likely sponsored by Maxim magazine), PopSugar has provided a dose of shots from Carrie Bradshaw's newest venture into intercourse in a metropolitan setting. Finally you can see whoever it is from Dreamgirls and a chubby, bald, more-Jewish Pee-Wee Herman.
Carrie and Stanford Reunite On The Set While J Hud Hearts Her New Life [PopSugar]
Sep 26 2007 'Sex and the City' Cast Patrol Streets
Time to choose the most valid caption for this image!
a.) After years of waiting, the four stars of Sex and the City reunite on the streets of their celebrated city.
b.) The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
c.) A standard, non-apocalyptic horse-man being led by well-dressed ladies.
d.) A horse et al.
PS: If I haven't made this clear, I think Sarah Jessica Parker has more horse head than The Godfather.
All Four Ladies on the Sex and the City Set [ComingSoon]
Sep 20 2007 'Sex and the City' Spoilers: BECAUSE YOU CAN'T WAIT!!!
above: Chris Noth (Mr. Big) poses with Sarah Jessica Parker (a horse).
May 30, 2008, after years of anxious waiting, audiences will be treated to what may be the most anticipated movie in history, Sex and the City. On that date, the television show that took the artfulness of Citizen Kane and added shopping and screwing will finally reach theaters, from which it will be drastically edited and shown on TBS.
But if you're like me, YOU CAN'T F'ING WAIT THAT LONG! What is going on with with Mr. Big and Carrie??? Why don't you let me tell you! Here are some hot details, which may spoil the plot but not nearly as much as the show has spoiled society:
- The long-infertile Charlotte (Kristin Davis) is now pregnant! In a scene shot Thursday morning on the corner of 70th & Lexington at a restaurant called Luni, Charlotte and Big are coming out of the restaurant when Charlotte's water breaks. She tries to hail a cab, when Big throws her in his car.
- Big and Carrie are moving in together and they are apartment-hunting in NYC.
- Carrie and the girls discuss men and sex through a series of poorly-written, unrealistic conversations.*
- Carrie discovers that the name "Big" applies less to his sexual organ, more to his enormous collection of Big memorabilia, in a scene where Mr. Big demands, "F*** me on this giant toy keyboard, in front of the innocent eyes of the fortune telling machine!"*
- Samantha (Kim Cattrall) is revealed to be an animate mannequin.* Also, an enormous slut.
- In the final scene, it's revealed that the entire series was taking place in the mind of an autistic child. A really shallow, slutty autistic child.*
*unconfirmed.
'Sex and the City' Is Back [OMG!]
