Nov 18 2009 This Is the Droid You Were Looking For
As noted by one of my girlfriend sites, a search for R2-D2 in the new Star Trek has ended. (Also of note: there was a search to find R2-D2 in the new Star Trek?) The above shot has been confirmed to be the fabled cross-franchise, fan-fiction-like appearance by the droid in J.J. Abrams' reboot.
Fans of both series should enjoy the subtle nod from one fictional universe to another, whereas superfans of either series should be vexed for years trying to figure out how to justify a being from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away showing up in the 23rd century, and determining what disastrous consequences this anomaly may hold for both universes.
Nov 13 2009 I Think This Is a Newish 'Avatar' Trailer
If you still can't get enough of seeing Sam Worthington's wheelchairing and blue cat people with glowing freckles, here's a relatively new trailer for Avatar. I guess it was run during Fox's last airing of Glee, so it's as old as whenever it is Glee is on. I'll have to check which day on my calendar is marked with a hand doing an "L" thing.
Continue Reading " I Think This Is a Newish 'Avatar' Trailer "
Nov 3 2009 Singin' in the Rain Special Edition: The Way George Lucas Originally Intended for Gene Kelly to Intend
You'd think Lucas could get James Earl Jones or anyone else for voice-over instead of this guy. But personally, I'm more upset Debbie Reynolds no longer sings the Yub Nub song at the end.
Oct 30 2009 Men to Wear Black Again
In news probable to spawn a franchise starring Jaden Smith as J Jr., Men in Black III is coming:
Sony is moving forward on “MIB 3,” the third pic in its sci-comedy franchise.“Tropic Thunder” writer Etan Cohen is penning the script, and Barry Sonnenfeld, who helmed the first two films, is said to be attached to the new installment, though there is no formal deal or offer as yet.
The studio is eyeing a 2010 start date and could go as soon as the spring.
The X-factor remains Will Smith. The A-lister, who starred with Tommy Lee Jones in the first two, has not committed to the pic, though in recent days the buzz in development circles has been that he is now interested in returning. Smith does not currently have a go movie lined up. Tommy Lee Jones’ involvement is uncertain.
Etan, make sure to write something that includes the Pepe the Muppet-esque guys drinking coffee and Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones having comically large/small weaponry. That's really all I ever walk away from the Men in Black movies remembering, and I worry, without those elements, I might end up just having an hour-and-a-half unaccounted-for absence in my life.
Oct 30 2009 Moon Bloodgood Wearing Nothing But Rain! And Pants
When McG started making Terminator Salvation, he went in wanting, first and foremost, to correct what he believed was the biggest shortcoming he showed in his work on the Charlie's Angel films: this time, he would see a bare boob. So, the director told Terminator star Moon Bloodgood that rain makes things artistic, and got the actress to take her top off for a few seconds in one rain-drenched shot. The pathetically tame scene was ultimately cut to ensure a PG-13 rating, but of course it's appearing on the DVD to boost sales to the desperately horny. And now it's on internet:
Continue Reading " Moon Bloodgood Wearing Nothing But Rain! And Pants "
Oct 29 2009 'Avatar' Theatrical Trailer: Officially This Time
Here it is, nerds: the full-length trailer for James Cameron's big-deal sci-fi action goddammer, Avatar. Print out a copy so dad can see it too.
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Oct 27 2009 'Short Circuit' Remake Finds Way To Get Less Appealing
Making a Short Circuit remake somehow even more unappealing than that already sounds is tough. How can you make people want to see a updated version of a simultaneously idiotic and beloved Ally Sheedy/Steve Guttenberg comedy--co-starring Fisher Stevens in whatever the Indian equivalent of blackface is--any less then they already do? Well, it's actually easier than you'd think. Just get the Paul Blart director on board and make the concept even more trite:
Dimension Films has signed Steve Carr to direct "Short Circuit," the remake of the 1986 sci-fi pic.Carr is coming off the Kevin James hit "Paul Blart: Mall Cop."
Scripted by Dan Milano ("Robot Chicken"), the remake is a robot reboot that brings the iconic Johnny 5 into the 21st century. Built by the military to be a highly sophisticated weapon, Johnny 5 develops a conscience and personality after being hit by lightning. He befriends a lonely boy and his fractured family.
So now it's about a machine that becomes sentient after being hit by lightning that befriends a lonely boy in a broken home? I'm pretty sure I've seen that movie already:
Continue Reading " 'Short Circuit' Remake Finds Way To Get Less Appealing "
Oct 23 2009 New Trailer for James Cameron's Blue Alien Movie
Johnny Legal Department doesn't want us to have this until next week, but, thanks to bootleggers, the new trailer for a certain highly-anticipated sci-fi adventure involving blue cat people is on internet. Hurry, before it's not!
Continue Reading " New Trailer for James Cameron's Blue Alien Movie "
Oct 23 2009 Neill Blomkamp Making More Probably-Good Sci-Fi
Remember liking District 9? Prepare to probably like something again! Media Rights Capital has signed writer/director Neill Blomkamp for a new sci-fi film on which he'll have the creative freedom to make something hopefully awesome. From Variety:
“MRC is letting me make the film I want to make and that is by far the most important thing here,” Blomkamp said. “The film will hopefully be commercial, but it is very much a singular film, that comes directly from me. `District 9’ was a bit different. I was learning the process then, under Peter Jackson’s wing. He had control, but was awesome enough to let me make the film I wanted to. Bill’s producing this with MRC, so the difference is Pete’s involvement."Blomkamp said he’s not intimidated, being given so much creative freedom in his sophomore outing—with no Jackson this time around.
“I’m not particularly interested in massive budget films, or creating huge spectacles that some young directors might be attracted to,” he said. “Hopefully, this will be a bit unique, very much a reflection of me. It is absolutely another science fiction film, quite different from `District 9,’ but some of the blending of genres and the tone might be within the same realm.”
Without Peter Jackson's guiding hand placed delicately at the small of Blomkamp's back, will the young director fall apart? Or will he finally be able to take his craft to the next level? And what is the next level, exactly? I'm just saying it because I've heard people talk about "next level" things. Stay tuned to this blog for future answers, adventurers!
Oct 22 2009 'Fourth Kind' Poster Misses So Many Kinds
These are all real:
Alien encounter of the fifth kind LIGHT PETTING
Alien encounter of the sixth kind "HEY, IT'S ME... OH, SORRY. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THIS ALIEN I KNEW."
Alien encounter of the seventh kind MAKING A NICE DINNER TOGETHER
Alien encounter of the eighth kind EXCLUSIVITY
Alien encounter of the ninth kind BUSINESS DEALINGS
Alien encounter of the tenth kind CUDDLE PARTIES
Alien encounter of the eleventh kind MEETING THE ALIEN QUEEN
Alien encounter of the twelfth kind WATCHING INDEPENDENCE DAY TOGETHER AND NOT GETTING WEIRD
Alien encounter of the thirteenth kind TRADING GOODS AND SERVICES
Alien encounter of the fourteenth kind INNOCENTLY PATTING EACH OTHER ON THE BUTT AFTER DOING A GOOD JOB
Alien encounter of the fifteenth kind LEAVING THE BATHROOM DOOR OPEN
Alien encounter of the sixteenth kind ULTIMATUMS
Alien encounter of the seventeenth kind ALIEN MARRIAGE
Alien encounter of the eighteenth kind "MAKING WHOOPY"
Alien encounter of the nineteenth kind TRYING ANAL FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY
Alien encounter of the twentieth kind NOOGIES
Final 'The Fourth Kind' One Sheet Blends ALL Kinds [Bloody Disgusting]
Oct 21 2009 New 'Star Trek' Getting Shatnier?
Going against all good sense that would logically keep William Shatner from reprising the role of Kirk in a new Star Trek sequel, director J.J. Abrams, speaking to reporters in Australia, revealed that he's still trying to figure out a way to pander to fans by working out some kind of time travel wormhole bullshit to get Shatner in this thing:
"It was a foregone conclusion we wanted him in the [first] movie," Abrams explained."The problem was his character died on screen in one of his Trek films and because we decided, very early on, that we wanted to adhere to Trek canon as best we could ... the required machinations to get Shatner into the movie would have been very difficult to do given the story we wanted to tell and also to give him the kind of part that he would be happy with.
"I feel like the first movie did some of the heavy lifting that needed to be done in order to free us to continue going forward. Maybe there's less of a burden and there's going to be more opportunity to work with [Shatner]."
Maybe have Data chauffeur Shatner from the afterlife to the past on an intergalactic humpback? Or does that make too much sense for the Star Trek universe? OK, just something with Q then.
Oct 1 2009 Hugh Jackman To Play Boxer, Robot Boxer Trainer
Hugh Jackman, our premiere song-and-dance-man/clawed-superhero, is in talks to join the ridiculous robot boxer movie Real Steal.
The Shawn Levy-directed film would reportedly star Jackman as a Rocky Balboa-esque down-and-out fighter making a comeback. Except, you know how Rocky had to train hard to fight a younger, tougher opponent? Instead of that, Jackman would be training a boxing robot, in order for that boxing robot to fight another boxing robot. It's that kind of comeback. A real man-finds-redemption-through-fighting-robots story.
Dreamworks is hoping to get the film shooting by May, and John Gatins and Levy currently are working on the third draft for the script in preparation. Keep at it, guys. With seven months until production, I know you'll figure out a way to make it believable when, inexplicably, the robot refuses to fight and Jackman has to put on a robot disguise and win the match, earning the respect of his son and himself (and robotkind).
Sep 30 2009 Ned (Of '& Stacy'), The Philanthropist, and Strong Join 'John Carter' (of 'Mars')
Get out your John Carter of Mars notebook and a #2 pencil, because I've got some new names for you to add to the cast list of the film:
Thomas Haden Church, James Purefoy and Mark Strong have joined the cast of joined “John Carter of Mars,” Disney’s adaptation of the Edgar Rice Burroughs book series that Andrew Stanton is directing.Taylor Kitsch and Lynn Collins topline the production, which centers on a Civil War veteran (Kitsch) who finds himself mysteriously transported to Mars, where he becomes embroiled with the planet’s warring people.
Church plays Tal Hajus, an ambitious and vicious Thark warrior who is biding his time to be a ruler.
Purefoy plays Kantos Kan, the captain of the Xavarian, the kingdom of Helium’s grand warship. Strong is Matai Shang, the ruler of the Thems with godlike status.
Right. Tal Hajus the Thark; Kantos Kan, captain of Helium's famous Xavarian warship; and Matai Shang, the godlike ruler of the Thems. You get all that? OK, good. Because I'm delirious with fever and need to lie down for the rest of the day after trying to process those words. (Seriously.)
'John Carter of Mars' nets three more actors [Heat Vision]
Sep 25 2009 First Look at Nerd-Style Pegg and Frost in 'Paul'
That Paul movie--the one directed by Adventureland's Greg Mottola that stars longtime collaborators Simon Pegg and Nick Frost as sci-fi fanboys who befriend an alien they find near Area 51. You were looking forward to that picture, right? Well, here's the first look at them (along with Blythe Danner and Kristen Wiig) in their geek regalia.
Pretty accurate sci-fi geek uniforms, I'd say--especially if that's a lightsaber strapped to the back of Frost--but without the presence of a greasy ponytail slapping against at least one of their lumbar regions, I can't give them an 'A'.
Sep 25 2009 'Planet 51' Poster: Aliens WOULD Have a Slightly Different Font on Their Slightly Misshapen Newspapers
To have such a implicitly John Goodman alien character not voiced by John Goodman is criminal. Criminal!
'Planet 51' Poster [IMPA]
Sep 24 2009 New 'The Fly' Iteration Coming From Experienced Fly Hands
Welp, someone is remaking David Cronenberg's The Fly, which was itself a remake of a 1958 sci-fi film. Curious who would be so daring as to remake David Cronenberg's 1986 classic? David Cronenberg is remaking David Cronenberg's 1986 classic, The Fly:
The auteur is in talks to develop a reboot of the 1986 classic with Fox, the studio that released that film, writing and potentially directing the new pic.The move marks an about-face for the Canadian director, who in the past has said he did not want to be involved on a remake of the film. Cronenberg did work on an opera version of "The Fly" that was staged first in Paris and then in Los Angeles.
I suppose this will do until I figure out how to get the remake I really want: The Metamorphosis, re-written by a reanimated Franz Kafka (updated with advanced modern punctuation). That would just be tops.
Sep 16 2009 Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots: The Movie (Unofficially)
Night at the Museums director Shawn Levy has signed on to direct Real Steel, a film--sadly, unassociated with Shaq's Steel--that will make you wonder how no one had yet thought to combine the Terminator and pugilism:
[T]he "Steel" story line takes place in a near future where human boxing has been outlawed, and heavy, humanoid robots slug it out in the ring instead. Into this world step a father and his estranged teenage son, who train an extraordinary fighter.
Wait, so in the future robots have to be trained to fight? What happened to programming them to be natural fighters and then having them flip through a boxing book super-fast like in Short Circuit? That seems like a step backward in boxing robot technology. Unless, à la Rocky IV, maybe evil programming and accelerated book reading is what only the Russian, Aryan boxing robots do.
Sep 11 2009 New 'Surrogates' Trailer: Putting All Those Obnoxious Android Model Bus/Subway Ads in Context
Haven't you always wanted to live the life of a Powerade commercial? Everyone has! That's why, in the future, we'll probably live through surrogate, robot bodies that can mountain climb, skydive, and have Craig Kilborn's hair better than any human (besides Craig Kilborn). But what if someone figures out how to MURDER the real humans behind the surrogates??? That's a Bruce Willis movie is what:
Aug 28 2009 Rob Zombie Re-Making 'The Blob' Sans Red Blobby Thing (The Blob)
Rob Zombie has decided to film another remake of The Blob, eliminating the one element I would consider definitive of The Blob:
`My intention is not to have a big red blobby thing, that’s the first thing I want to change,' Zombie said. `That gigantic Jello-looking thing might have been scary to audiences in the 1950s, but people would laugh now. I have a totally different take, one that’s pretty dark.'
Yeah, fuck that big red blobby thing, also known as "The Blob." Not a necessary component. Should probably be reinterpreted as maybe a large, ruthless hilljack who calls himself "The Blob." That's only logical.
Zombie Remakes `The Blob' [Variety]
Aug 27 2009 'Avatar' Tickets Now Available on Internet
Are you the type of guy who like to buy his movie tickets four months in advance? You're in luck, captain. Variety is reporting that Avatar tickets are already on sale for midnight showings in around 50 IMAX theaters nationwide, available on Fandango and a more obviously-named Fandango called MovieTickets.com. Apparently sitting outside the theater for weeks in blue face-paint so that you can be first to get a ticket is a thing of the past. Or it will be once I wipe off this blue face-paint and go home defeated.
