Jul 27 2009 Some Sort of Batmen Movie Might Be Coming Out Soon!
Hey, you like that Batman movie that was so popular last year? Then you might want to know that, speaking at a Book of Eli panel at Comic Con this weekend, Gary Oldman slipped up/completely made something up and answered a fan's question about a third Batman film. Regarding when it would start shooting, Commissioner Gordon said:
"The next 'Batman' is shooting next year. It's at least two years away."
Good news for both Batman fans and British tabloids, who now have a time frame in which to set their ridiculous, invented casting rumors. "Rick Springfield has been cast a Mr. Freeze in the new Batman film" will sound so much more legitimate when they add "which is shooting in 2010."
(Thanks, Jacqueline Hyde.)
Gary Oldman says next 'Batman' movie shooting in 2010 [Hitfix]
Sep 28 2007 'Karate Kid' to be Destroyed by Nine-Year-Old
I'm not one of these guys who things everything from his childhood is sacred. Looking back at G.I. Joe, Thundercats, Transformers, or any of these other '80s hits now being regurgitated by some Hollywood idiots, I have the presence of mind to say, "You know, maybe a show about anthropomorphic cats fighting a transforming mummy wasn't really that stellar to begin with." But with news that The Karate Kid is set to be remade with 9-year-old Will Smith spawn, Jaden, it raises an interesting question: what the f***?
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Aug 7 2007 Tom Cruise Taking Star Trek?
A trusted source of IGN has said J.J. Abrams is looking for an A-list star cameo in his Star Trek prequel, and is currently hoping to pull Tom Cruise in for the role of Captain Christopher Pike, Kirk's predecessor. I can't think of exactly how to word the hilarious connection between Star Trek and his goofy, space-based religion, so please do your best to come up with something. Bonus points for references to Oprah's couch, storing Katie Holmes in a pod, or Xenu.
Aug 6 2007 Tom Hanks Stretching for Fahrenheit 451?
Will Tom Hanks lead Frank Darabont's adaptation of the Bradbury classic Fahrenheit 451? So says an AICN tipster, who claims the actor will play the novel's fireman protagonist Guy Montag. If the rumor proves true, it will remain to be seen if Hanks can pull off playing a sort of "everyman" role. And if so, will the moviegoers be willing to look past his parts in Bosom Buddies and Bachelor Party to see him as a different character? God I hope so! I, for one, like this Tom Hanks fellow, and I think he should be getting more famous leading roles like this.
Jul 25 2007 Alex Proyas Vis a Vis Silver Surfer
"Robert Patrick? Yeah, big-time queer. What? No, that's just what I heard."
An MSN article that interviewed Marvel head Avi Arad included the following tidbit:
“He declined to say the director's name, but there has been speculation Australian director Alex Proyas was being wooed to direct the film adaptation of another Arad project, Silver Surfer.”
Naturally, nerds are all abuzz about it; whether Silver Surfer deserves a spinoff, whether the guy who did Dark City and The Crow jumped the shark with I Robot, etc. Anyway, "there has been speculation" sounds a lot like "I got stoned last night and thought it might be cool if" to me, so while you dorks chew all this over, I'm going to enjoy a clip from the Simpson's where they go to Australia.
Jul 19 2007 Big Budget Troll
Bloody Disgusting is reporting a rumor (whatever the hell that means) that Troll is going to get a big budget remake. Watching the above clip might make you excited for something like that, but think about it, what would a big budget remake of this be like? Well, first they'd replace the random B-listers like Sonny Bono, and the troll would probably end up being played by Eva Longoria. Then they'd take out the awesome lo-fi effects and replace it with CGI. And instead of something disturbing and hilarious, you'll get a mediocre video game. Charm of the original: lost. See also: Hairspray.
It's just like that neighbor girl. The doll you make from her hair will never quite smell like the original. *sigh* Sometimes I really wish I hadn't killed her.
