Nov 24 2008 Vampire Teen Romance is Really Popular

Why your local theater felt like a Forever 21 this weekend:

1. Twilight - $70.6 million. This is why I'm really glad we didn't pass that proposal that would let 13-year-old girls vote.

2. Quantum of Solace - $27.4 million. Now we've seen how Bond competes against vampires at the box office, but what about if he actually fought vampires? I still think he'd do OK.

3. Bolt - $27 million. I always said people would pay to hear John Travolta's voice in any form, but it turns out I may have been wrong. I might have to reconsider my personalized John Travolta voicemail business plan.

4. Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa - $16 million. Spoiler alert: Madagascar escapes 2 Africa.

5. Role Models - $7.2 million. I'm too transfixed by this vampire's icy stare to come up with anything about Role Models.

Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]

Nov 17 2008 Bond is a Popular, Money-Making Franchise

1. Quantum of Solace - $70.4 million--the best opening ever for a Bond movie or any other film with the words "quantum" and "solace" in the title.

2. Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa - $36.1 million. Every1 luvs escaping to theaters 2 C talking animals!

3. Role Models - $11.7 million, and it's all going to Big Brothers/Big Sisters! (No it isn't.)

4. High School Musical 3: Senior Year - $5.9 million. Who says people won't pay to see teenagers sing and dance in a Disney production, week after week? I think I said that, but I was dead wrong.

5. Changeling - $4.2 million, bringing the Clint Eastwood-directed film to just over $27 million in four weeks. I'm so confident it could have made a lot more under my title, Anglina Jolie and the Baby Switcheroo.

Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]

Nov 10 2008 'Madagascar 2' Moves the Weekend Box Office!

And the weekend box office results were...

1. Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa - $63.5 million. Once again, I've underestimated the public's desire to move it (move it).

2. Role Models - $19.3 million. Stifler may not have the same box office pull he did in 2000, but he still does OK if you give him a Rudd for support.

3. High School Musical 3 - $9.3 million. This ordering just goes to show that as much as people love singing, dancing adolescents, they will always more love singing, dancing computer-generated animals.

4. Changeling - $7.3 million, most of that money coming from tickets Brad Pitt bought to support his wife. THEY ARE THAT IN LOVE.

5. Zack and Miri Make a Porno - $6.5 million, bringing its domestic total up to nearly $21 million. Is that enough to warrant an actual porn spoof film? I want to see how that would work.

Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]

Sep 17 2008 'Role Models' Has a Drinking/Urination-Based Poster

An apparent homeless alcoholic is wearing dress pants!? I've got to see how that incongruity could occur! Plus, as a cool, youthful dude, I'm always saying how things are the "worst ____ ever," or that something is an "epic fail," so this poster really speaks to me on multiple levels.

Role Models Poster [Coming Soon]

Sep 16 2008 Red-Band 'Role Models' Trailer Pours Sugar on My D

Here's the red-band, cuss-filled trailer to Role Models, the comedy written, directed, and starring various The State people you're probably better off liking. It earns bonus points for including a child drawing a crude portrayal of Beyonce pouring sugar on his dick, but loses many more for being so overtly uplifting and setting much of the action to the tune of a Matchbox Twenty song. Who knew those guys were still making their idea of music? Regardless, in the end, this still seems alright, but just barely. You won me over again, Paul Rudd.

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Aug 6 2008 Help Me Decide if This 'Role Models' Trailer is Good or Not

OK, a high concept comedy where a couple semi-detestable guys reform themselves when they're forced to volunteer at a Big Brothers program should be awful, right? That's what I thought too, but here's the rub: it's written by, directed by, and starring various The State/Wet Hot American Summer guys, so it should be pretty decent, right? But it also stars Stiffler, who I'm at best ambivalent towards, and has a joke about how crazy the cup size names are at Starbucks. But then again, the Reindeer Games joke is pretty good, as is Paul Rudd. But man, this overly-precocious kid is going to get old real quick (both in the movie and real life, when he'll probably turn to drugs). So I don't know what to think. Anyone?

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