Oct 30 2009 'Old Dogs' Looks No Better in Russian
Этот фильм является самым страшным созданием человека!!!
'Old Dogs' Poster [IMPA]
Aug 28 2009 Robin Williams Starring in--God, That's the Title?
Wedding Banned! Since License to Wed, Robin Williams is our go-to guy for wedding conflict comedy:
In the comedy [titled Wedding Banned], Williams will play one-half of a long-divorced couple who kidnap their daughter on her wedding day in order to keep her from making a mistake. The divorced parents rekindle their relationship as they elude cops and the angry groom.
I'm just concerned I'll forget how witty the title is and accidentally type "Wedding Band" into Fandango, costing me precious moments in scoring those sweet 12:01 AM Wedding Banned tickets.
Robin Williams in Disney's 'Wedding' [Variety]
Aug 24 2009 Hell-nooooooooo! No, Robin Williams is Not Playing Susan Boyle
Today in movie news British tabloids have clearly made up:
Robin Williams has reportedly revealed that he has been asked to play Susan Boyle in a biopic of the singer.He told the Daily Star: "I've been asked if I want to play Susan in the movie. I think she's incredible. That clip of her singing on Britain's Got Talent was extraordinary. So inspiring. It was quite a shock when she began to sing."
He continued: "I saw some other clip of her singing 'Cry Me A River' a few years ago. It was incredible. She's got a really great voice."
Shut up, Daily Star. Someone on your writing staff falling asleep watching Britain's Got Talent and Mrs. Doubtfire on consecutive nights does not mean Robin Williams is playing Susan Boyle in a biopic. Furthermore, I seriously doubt anyone would ever, ever make a Susan Boyle movie. It would be either extremely boring, extremely depressing, or both, and we'd all already know the lackluster ending: her achieving reasonable but fleeting notoriety for her nontraditional combination of being old and unattractive yet somehow having a good voice (though not good enough to win a competition). Oh, wait, I guess now the even more depressing ending would be that she finally gets a biopic where she'd played by a man. That sounds like a great plan for a film.
Besides, Robin Williams has never gone eight sentences without some kind of nonsensical/topical/once-topical impression or spastic freak-out. At least add a "[stands on chair; seems to be imitating Elvis?]" if you want your fake quote to be believable.
Williams: 'I've been asked to play Boyle' [Digital Spy]
Jun 11 2009 There's a New 'Adjective Animals' Movie About Old Guys!
Ready for exaggerated physical comedy that screams at you like an infomercial host, some timely references to Gilmore Girls, and probably a full serving of spoon-fed life lessons? From the director of Wild Hogs, it's Old Dogs, starring Robin Williams and John Travolta, and featuring John Travolta's family as Robin Williams's family.
Here's the trailer for the comedy that will have you saying, "There will definitely be outtakes playing under the credits." Watch for the completely batshit insane zookeeper:
Continue Reading " There's a New 'Adjective Animals' Movie About Old Guys! "
Apr 14 2009 See a Dog Consoling in This 'Old Dogs' Poster
I apologize for the low quality, but when you see an Old Dogs poster, you do not sit on it. The people need to know.
How much do you think was saved by using a Phenomenon headshot and a body double making a claw hand in place of Travolta? The answer is: enough to pay for a dowel rod, some wire, and some synthetic dog fur.
Old Dogs Poster [IMPA]
Feb 2 2009 'Night at the Museum 2' Poster is 'OK'
Or so the Lincoln Memorial tells me! It would be less obnoxious if they had Lincoln in a backwards cap, lowering his sunglasses as he jumped a skateboard over the cast. I mean, if we're going to have a statue of the Great Emancipator doing something stupid, then let's gets nuts with it.
Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian Poster [IMPA]
Jul 16 2007 Seth Green to Play World's Smallest Executive
Ladies love it when I stand diagonal. Rowr!
Seth Green is set to join Robin Williams, John Travolta, Kelly Preston, and Matt Dillon in Old Dogs, the most strangely casted movie ever.
"Dogs" is a buddy comedy revolving around two best friends and business partners whose lives are turned upside down when they find themselves taking care of 7-year-old twins.Green will play an executive with the global marketing firm run by Travolta and Williams' characters as they are closing a big deal with a Japanese conglomerate. He is eager to prepare for his move to Tokyo and show off his Harvard MBA and Japanese cultural skills.
Obviously it's a comedy, because that's the only time you could cast Seth Green as a corporate exec. Can you really picture that guy as an authority figure? He'd walk in wearing a comically oversized suit and tell you to stop reading movie blogs and get back to work and you'd just giggle and be like, "Hee hee, whatever you say, Professor von Tinyjew! I can't resist those dimples!"
Jul 10 2007 August Rush Trailer: Rhys Meyers to Play Straight Again
"Cocaine's a hell of a drug..."
August Rush "tells the story of a charismatic Irish guitarist and a sheltered young cellist who have a chance encounter one magical night above New York’s Washington Square, but are soon torn apart, leaving in their wake an infant, August Rush, orphaned by circumstance." I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that before the credits roll, they will "make beautiful music together." Crotch music.
This will give Jonathan Rhys Meyers another chance to pretend he's straight. No offense, but this dude's gayer than Vin Diesel at a glory hole. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
UPDATE: Just did a google search on Rhys Meyers. According to Scarlett Johansson, "He's a really sexy, brooding guy, but he's very gossipy. He likes shoes, and it was like having a girlfriend on the set."
Jul 3 2007 License to Wed is Really Good
The trio had differing reactions to the kilo of cocaine on the table
License to Wed is currently tracking at 8% on Rotten Tomatoes, putting it well on its way to finding a spot on their 100 Worst list. Spawning a million "Divorce", "Annulment", and "Say I Don't" headlines, here are some other words of praise it received:
"Comedies don't get much lamer than License to Wed," -Hollywood Reporter
"Not only is License to Wed Creepy, it's not remotely funny." -Cincinnati Enquirer
"Williams has become a comedic glass ceiling, a black hole of laughs that guarantees every scene he's in will make nails on a chalkboard sound appealing." -Metromix.com
"There's bad, there's awful and there's horrible, and then somewhere beyond that, in its own Kingdom of Lousy -- where all the milk curdles and the jokes aren't funny -- is "License to Wed," the latest ghastly exercise starring Robin Williams." - San Francisco Chronicle
Why are bad reviews so much more fun to read than good ones? Oh that's right, because I'm a bastard. (sigh)
