Nov 13 2009 'Grown-Ups' Trailer: The Bad Boys of SNL Plus Surrogate Have Aged

The trailer for the childhood-friends-reunite-as-adults film Grown-Ups is here. Watching it, I have to think this will probably be a new generation's The Big Chill. Except no it won't, because The Big Chill was college friends, and it never included gags where Jeff Goldblum swings into a tree and comically rolls down a hill. Maybe it's a new generation's Now and Then, without any of the flashback scenes? Or maybe it's just The Bad Boys of SNL Reunite as Dads, and Also King of Queens Is Here Instead of Chris Farley (RIP):

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Apr 8 2009 'Naked Dawn': Rob Schneider's Parodies No More Ridiculous Than Rob Schneider's Real Movies

Thanks to TetterkeT for pointing out this trailer for Naked Dawn, a Red Dawn spoof in which a naked Rob Schneider is a nudist colony's only hope against clothes-loving Russian invaders. With the way your boss is about seeing Rob Schneider's butt, you probably should wait until after work for this:

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Feb 11 2009 1992 Cast of SNL and King of Queens Making a Movie

This can't go well:

Kevin James, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and David Spade are in negotiations to star in an untitled comedy for Columbia Pictures.

Frequent Sandler collaborator Dennis Dugan ("You Don't Mess With the Zohan") will helm, with the studio gearing up for a summer start date.

Sandler's Sony-based Happy Madison shingle, which recently teamed with James and the studio on the box office hit "Paul Blart: Mall Cop," is producing.

Sandler penned the screenplay with "Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star" scribe Fred Wolf. High-concept story is a comedy about five best friends from high school who reunite 30 years later on a Fourth of July weekend.

So what they're getting at is that this is a movie about SNL, but instead of calling it "a popular, weekly sketch comedy program" they're calling it "high school", and instead of Chris Farley it's Kevin James. I can't quite figure out what the reuniting on "Fourth of July weekend" part represents. Maybe a declaration of independence from genuine laughter?

Columbia pic gets Sandler and friends [Variety]

Nov 5 2008 Rob Schneider is Still Starring in Movies

Rob Schneider is going to star in a raunchy sex comedy called Virgin on Bourbon Street, the tale of an abstinent coed who threatens her college career during a night of debauchery. From Variety:

Rob Schneider, Jenna Dewan ("Step Up") and Brianne Davis ("Jarhead") star in sex comedy "Virgin on Bourbon Street," which starts lensing this week in Detroit.

Pic, sold at the American Film Market by Echo Bridge Entertainment, sees a night of debauchery threaten the university career of a sexually abstinent woman student. It is directed by "The Wedding Date" helmer Clare Kilner.

That can't be the entire story. First off, that implies Rob Schneider isn't the star. How is Rob Schneider not the star? If you're making a sex comedy with Rob Schneider, Rob Schneider is the star (unless Adam Sandler is the star). Second, that plot isn't quite high concept enough. Where's the part about how Schneider is an undercover cop posing as a fraternity pledge who has 24 hours to have sex with a virgin? Or how he's actually a chimp that rapidly evolved after a university science experiment went awry? Or that he's an archangel trying to stop this girl from having sex because she's the new Virgin Mary who must remain pure for the second coming of Christ? If I'm going to have to tolerate another lowbrow Rob Schneider comedy, it should at least be blatantly absurd.

Mar 27 2008 New, Groin-Centric 'You Don't Mess with the Zohan' Trailer

After the last dodgy accent-filled trailer, I wasn't sure it was possible to make the Borat the Hairdresser comedy of You Don't Mess with the Zohan any less desirable. They'd already revealed longtime Sandler tagalong Rob Schneider plays a part; how do you make it worse from there? Oh, right, gyrating. Shot after shot of comic gyrating. I always forget about gyrating.

See the new trailer under the jump--but note that it's a rough cut, so the final gyration content could vary.

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Dec 13 2007 'You Don't Mess With the Zohan', Especially if This Trailer is the Result

This trailer to You Don't Mess With the Zohan is everything you'd hope for from an Adam Sandler movie-meets-Borat-meets-hairstyling. Hilarious, mildly offensive accents galore, increasingly ludicrous antics, the requisite mildly-retarded Rob Schneider character--it's got everything you hated from Waterboy and more! It's also probably what a Bollywood adaption of Shampoo would resemble, only with more random dance numbers.

Apparently, the largest consequence of messing with the Zohan is another terrible, sentence-titled comedy from the director of I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.

You Don't Mess With the Zohan Trailer [Yahoo!]

Nov 29 2007 First Look at 'The Zohan'

When I heard that I would be getting my first look at "Zohan" today, my excitement reached an all-time high. What new man, whose name clearly begins with a Z, would be walking alongside Lindsey Lohan's thinly-tighted legs? Billy Zane? Soccer star Zinedine Zidane? The animated corpse of Zero Mostel? The anticipation was palpable.

So imagine my disappointment when I learned "Zohan" was not, in fact, the cutesy name of Lindsey Lohan and a mysterious Z-man, but rather a new Adam Sandler comedy co-starring Mariah Carey and Rob Schneider (inevitably playing another half-retard with a shouted catchphrase, I assume) and helmed by the director of I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.

In You Don't Mess with the Zohan, Sandler plays an Israeli Mossad agent who fakes his death to move to New York and become a hairstylist, a concept that will hilariously allow for both racial and gay jokes, and maybe even an enraging goofy accent. Then again, it's written by Judd Apatow and Robert Smigel, so I don't know what to think.

First look at Zohan! [JoBlo]

Jul 25 2007 Homer Does Monologue, Schneider Does Lohan

In case you missed it, and I'm assuming you did because who the hell watches Jay Leno anyway, here's Homer's monologue from last night's Tonight Show. Later in the show, Rob Schneider came in dressed as Lindsay Lohan (video after the jump). This is Rob Schneider's first foray into non-ethnic impressions in a while. Impressions are good because you can make bad jokes and when people don't laugh you just claim you were in character.

"What? No, I'm not making bad topical jokes about the astronaut from two months ago and catholic priests, I'm pretending to be Lindsay Lohan! Because she totally does that! Get it? I'm an actor."

It was brave of him to play Lindsay Lohan as a hacky, old school comic, not a lot of people would've take that risk. By the way, anyone else notice that even with platform shoes on, Schneider's still a head shorter than Jay Leno? Is he like 4' 11"?

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