Jun 26 2009 'Amelia' Trailer: Old Guys, Please Refrain From Shouting "I Know How It Ends!" and Chuckling
Coming soon to lists of things that will probably win Oscars, Hilary Swank and Richard Gere in the melodramatic story of the world's greatest ladypilot: Amelia. As you can see in the above screenshot, the biopic seems to support my controversial theory that Earhart's disappearance was the result of arbitrarily climbing out of her plane, standing on the wings, and waving until she fell off. I knew it:
May 15 2009 Richard Gere Owned the Best Non-Sports-Playing Dog Ever: The Movie
Haven't you always wanted to see a film about Richard Gere as a professor that owned a really great dog that faithfully met him at the train station each day, and was later either so loyal or habit-driven that it continued the tradition for another ten years after Richard Gere's death? No? You probably aren't Japanese then, because they're apparently really looking forward to Hachiko: A Dog's Story, the Hallmark quality, based-on-a-true-story movie about an animal understanding repetition more than human mortality.
This is the kind of dog you could really trust alone with your wife:
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Sep 5 2008 Richard Gere Still Loves Diane Lane SO HARD (in Japanese)
Here's the Japanese trailer for my new favorite piece of meno-porn (menopause porn, obviously), Nights in Rodanthe. Do you think Japanese subtitles and more hilariously melodramatic exposition are gonna stop Richard Gere from loving Diane Lane, or stop her from saving his heart, which is ironic since he's the heart surgeon? No way in hell, buddy. If anything, the subtitles make him love her MORE. Now you get his professions of clichéd love in FOUR languages: English, Japanese, the International Language of (middle-aged) Love, and the language of your own tearful, deliberate applause. So romantic. So romantic.
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Aug 21 2008 'Nights in Rodanthe' is the 'Citizen Kane' of Menoporn
Here's one for the ladies (over 40, who are lonely), or for anyone who likes laughing at menopause porn highlight reels composed entirely of melodrama moneyshots. "I made that to keep special things safe." "What keeps you safe?" God, Diane Lane, just let Richard Gere take care of you! You're special too! Why can't intentional comedy be this funny?
The only thing that could make this more perfect is if the black friend is revealed to be the ghost of a patient Richard Gere killed in surgery, but since every other predictable plot point is divulged in this four minute trailer, I have to assume she's corporeal.
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Jun 19 2008 New Shots from 'Amelia' (Earhart Biopic)
IMAGE REMOVED at request of Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation
I think I went to the Halloween party where this was taken. Their costumes were obnoxious elementary school art teacher, pilot, and Richard Gere.
Apr 29 2008 'Amelia' Biopic Continues Looking Accurate
When I saw the first shot from the set of Amelia, I was shocked that Hilary Swank had little to no eyebrows for the role. Somehow I'd never noticed in my years of comprehensive Amelia Earhart photo study that her eyebrows were so non-existent. Not wanting to be caught unawares again, I studied up on the famous aviator. And thus, being so well-informed, I'm not at all surprised she has a gruesome, gnarled claw for a hand. That's just how it was. Also: that's Richie Geere as husband George Putnam.
Obviously, an Exciting Day on Amelia Set [Bad and Ugly]
Oct 29 2007 'I'm Not There' Actors Recreate Music Video
Just when I thought it wasn't possible, I'm Not There has found a way to reach new heights in its aggressive campaign to point out, "Hey, look, we've got several celebrities doing varied impressions of Bob Dylan!"
This international trailer doesn't even mess with plot, instead focusing on how interesting it is that they've recreated the Subterranean Homesick Blues video with their celebrity celebrity impersonators.
It's actually strangely enjoyable to watch, but come on, two hours of this?
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Oct 23 2007 New 'I'm Not There' Trailer Borders on Parody
Last week on SNL, there was a hilarious digital short where cast members did impressions of various actors doing impressions of Bob Dylan in a movie. Like that old skit about now-famous actors trying out for a role in Star Wars, it was very funny.
Funny, that is, until I realized this was not SNL displaying actual humor for once, but a real movie in which Richard Gere, Cate Blanchett, Heath Ledger, Christian Bale and others do impressions of Bob Dylan, apparently meant to be taken seriously.
See the new trailer under the cut, and see why Darrell Hammond is furious about his exclusion.
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Aug 9 2007 Ledger and Gere Doing Their Best Dylans
Since Todd Haynes announced his Bob Dylan biopic I'm Not There would involve several actors playing the folk star at various points in his life, I've been wondering how the diverse cast would pull it off. First came shots and footage of Cate Blanchett, which looked surprisingly believable. Now we get our first good look at Heath Ledger and Richard Gere. The above shot Ledger has me again thinking it's a pretty decent match, but this shot of Gere just makes me think, "Oh, Richard Gere is homeless. And wearing boots from the world of Tolkien."
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