Sep 22 2009 Karl Pilkington Reviews 'The Invention of Lying'
Make sure to watch part two below the cut to see whether or not Pilkington's spherical head considers the 1991 John Goodman comedy King Ralph better or worse than Ricky Gervais's new film.
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Jul 22 2008 Ebert, Roeper Replaced by These Guys
Yesterday, it was announced that both Richard Roeper and Roger Ebert would be leaving At the Movies with Ebert and Roeper. But that doesn't mean ABC is abandoning the format of two guys talking about movies that has kept viewers casually watching when nothing else on! Variety reports that At the Movies will forge on, replacing the Sun-Times reviewers with a host from Turner Classic Movies and an E! critic who makes appearances on Good Morning America and the esteemed Access Hollywood. Also, satellites will be involved:
Disney ABC’s venerable weekly TV review show “At the Movies” confirmed Tuesday that Ben Lyons and Ben Mankiewicz will co-host the next iteration of the series when its 23rd season begins the weekend of Sept. 6. On Monday, Chicago Sun-Times staffers Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper quit the series.“At the Movies” also plans to introduce a new look and segments to the show in September, including a “Critics Round-Up” during which the co-hosts will engage with other critics via satellite from cities across the country.
To further update the long-running series, the name will be changed to Who the Hell Are These Guys & Why Are They at the Movies?
Lyons, Mankiewicz to host 'Movies' [Variety]
Jun 26 2008 First 'Dark Knight' Review Says It's a Positive Metaphor
Rolling Stone's Peter Travers has the first review of The Dark Knight, calling it "a thunderbolt about to rip into the blanket of bland we call summer movies," and other favorable things. Good to know that all of the claims I made to my friends that this will be the definitive superhero movie probably won't make me look like a complete asshole this time, since I ended up being totally off when I said the same thing about Underdog. I'm sorry, alright, guys?
Read the full review here, but not if you don't want a mild SPOILER.
May 16 2008 'The Happening' R-Rated Trailer, Plus: A Scathing Review!
Collider has an early review of M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening, and from the sounds of it, it's come time we stop taking this guy's calls. Here's a sampling:
"The Happening" is a terrible, terrible movie. I mean, it's bad on an epic scale. It's so bad that I can't possibly tell you how bad it is without understating the point or making it sound like I'm picking on the film. But let me stress: this is not pent-up Shyamalan aggression or a desire to see him fail. This is bad in a jaw-dropping "they can't really be serious, can they?" kind of way.If you're dreading the Shyamalan trademark twist-ending, you can breathe a sigh of relief. There's no twist whatsoever. But there's also no ending. I won't ruin it any further by talking about what's not there, but prepare to feel very, very cheated and figure out in advance what consultation you can offer when the person next you confusedly asks, "Is that it?"
With Shyamalan's catalog getting increasingly disappointing with each new addition, it's getting even harder to defend him than it is to defend my everlasting love of Smashing Pumpkins. With both, it's just a lot of, "No, no, no, I know, I know. Yes, their last few were sort of questionable--ignore those. Shut up about Machina/Lady in the Water, OK? Just listen to/watch Mellon Collie/The Sixth Sense. Then you'll get it. What do you mean it doesn't seem all that great? Shut up. I guarantee if you were a teenager when you were exposed to this, you'd be loving it. Shut up. Just shut up."
Oh, and there's a new R-rated trailer under the cut. It proves strangely ineffective after reading that the film is "bad on an epic scale."
Continue Reading " 'The Happening' R-Rated Trailer, Plus: A Scathing Review! "
Jan 11 2008 'One Missed Call' Is One of the Worst Movies Ever
Many, many, many terrible movies come out each year--some even go on to make over $200 million and earn a sequel with "the girls"--but few reach the ultimate shit pinnacle of a 0% rating on RottenTomatoes.com. It's the film review world's equivalent to every student in your school refusing to sign your yearbook--there is simply nothing positive to be said about you, and no one cares if you ever change or have a gr8 summer.
Yet, somehow, (probably through its bland, derivative concept and awful execution) One Missed Call, the story of people receiving voicemails that play their final moments of life (then they die a few days later), has managed to receive absolutely no praise in any of its 52 aggregated reviews. It's an anti-honor that has been given to only a select, severely detestable group: Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, Roberto Benigni's Pinocchio, King's Ransom, Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, National Lampoon's Gold Digges, and Crossover. It's a feat, to say the least.
Let's just hope this doesn't deter any future movie-makers from delving into the fertile territory of the modern-technology-that-forecasts-brutal-death genre. Don't give up yet; we haven't even gotten to the point of a two-way-centric version (Beep. Talk. Die.?) If we advance to the level of holograms but don't make a movie about holograms murdering us, all of this technology is virtually impotent.
Also, does anyone want to see this with me this weekend?
One Missed Call Reviews [Rotten Tomatoes]
Jul 3 2007 License to Wed is Really Good
The trio had differing reactions to the kilo of cocaine on the table
License to Wed is currently tracking at 8% on Rotten Tomatoes, putting it well on its way to finding a spot on their 100 Worst list. Spawning a million "Divorce", "Annulment", and "Say I Don't" headlines, here are some other words of praise it received:
"Comedies don't get much lamer than License to Wed," -Hollywood Reporter
"Not only is License to Wed Creepy, it's not remotely funny." -Cincinnati Enquirer
"Williams has become a comedic glass ceiling, a black hole of laughs that guarantees every scene he's in will make nails on a chalkboard sound appealing." -Metromix.com
"There's bad, there's awful and there's horrible, and then somewhere beyond that, in its own Kingdom of Lousy -- where all the milk curdles and the jokes aren't funny -- is "License to Wed," the latest ghastly exercise starring Robin Williams." - San Francisco Chronicle
Why are bad reviews so much more fun to read than good ones? Oh that's right, because I'm a bastard. (sigh)
Jun 4 2007 Peter Travers: Grumpy?
F*ck this and f*ck that, f*ck it all and f*ck her f*cking brat.
I just saw Knocked Up, and as astute (hee hee, "ass toot") commenter Willravel pointed out, it is indeed a powerful aphrodisiac. In fact I'm glad I didn't see it with my grandma, 'cause I'd probably be doin' the old broad missionary anal right now. Just kidding, she's dead!
But seriously, IMIO* it was spot on all the way through, hilarious, honest as hell, and nailed 'heartwarming', without being the usual collection of ridiculous cliches like, say, Love Actually (sorry, the only way I can praise something is by contrasting it with something I despise. My psychiatrist says it's because I'm broken on the inside; I don't understand his clinical jargon.). And Seth Rogan somehow looks like he has a dip in throughout the entire movie. Maybe he has big gums?
Anyway, my only question is how my favorite film critic, Peter Travers, only gave it three and a half stars. He gave Borat four, which was well deserved, but also Letters From Iwo Jima, which was, well...long. Long and grey. Anyway, check out the list of other flicks he gave three and a half stars to too and get indignant. Grrr! Love ya, Pete, but I call bullshit on this one.
Knives out!
*In My Infallible Opinion
UPDATE: The Rolling Stone feature on Judd Apatow claims the DVD will include seven hours of extras.
