Jan 30 2009 Rambo Will Return Again... Somewhere
When Sylvester Stallone stumbled back from wherever he wandered to after leaving the set of Spy Kids 3-D and jumped right back into the roles of Rocky and Rambo, I thought it was understood that it was his swan song--a chance for him to say goodbye to his most famous characters before his neck veins overtook his vocal function. That was the agreement, Sly. So what's this I'm hearing about Rambo coming back again?
Sylvester Stallone, who is preparing to shoot action-adventure The Expendables, told Extra that he's planning to play John Rambo again."Yeah, we are doing another 'Rambo,' but the conflict is whether to do it in America or a foreign country," said Stallone.
At least this project will keep him from trying to do Further Over the Top or Stop! Or My Dad Will Shoot This Time.
Sylvester Stallone Not Done with Rambo [Coming Soon]
Jan 28 2008 'Meet the Spartans' Wins a Lame Parody of the Weekend Box Office
1. Meet the Spartans - I think we need to sit down and have a serious discussion about how this possibly made $18.7 million this weekend, and I think that discussion should be littered with shallow references to pop culture that might be mistaken for actual jokes.
2. Rambo - Stallone's body count easily bested 27 Dresses' dress count, earning $18.2 million.
3. 27 Dresses - $13.6 million, or almost $504,000 per dress.
4. Cloverfield - With a 68% drop to $12.7 million, it's still alive, but barely.
5. Untraceable - Your parents' combined fear and lack of understanding of this "internet" thing cost them a cumulative $11.2 million, though the mental damages could still rise as they continually ask you, "Could that really happen?"
Weekend Box Office [Box Office Mojo]
Nov 15 2007 Yet Another 'Rambo' Poster
It's been 25 years since we first saw Stallone grunt and stab his way through First Blood, and, you know, all things considered, the Rambo we see today doesn't look too bad. Same hair, same bandanna, same aptitude with outdated weaponry.
In fact, had his dead fingernails not given him away, I'd probably never have guessed this was a re-animated corpse.
Rambo Poster [IMPA]
Nov 9 2007 AM Poster Post: 'Rambo' Loves Stencil Graffiti
You know what's "hot" right now, and will really connect Rambo to these kids today? Street art! People love the pseudo-political spraypainted artwork of Banksy! They'll surely transfer that love to an aging action star after seeing him in such a form, like an muscular, grunting Che! Right?
Rambo Poster [IMPA]
Oct 23 2007 New 'Rambo' Trailer is Rambo-er Than Ever
You know when you go to an amusement park, or Times Square, or anywhere where a large number of people wear cameras, and there are those weird caricature guys? For ten dollars or so, they'll scribble together a mediocre drawing that exaggerates your features nearly beyond recognition, awkwardly incorporates some of your interests, and leave you with an insulting image you'll never show anyone.
Somehow, this latest Rambo movie has visually, thematically, and even down to Sly's distorted impression of himself, created this in film.
With that said, I present to you a caricature of Rambo, aptly titled Rambo, under the cut.
Continue Reading " New 'Rambo' Trailer is Rambo-er Than Ever "
May 21 2007 New Rambo Clip Confirms Copout
"I installed my own pacemaker with this knife."
In the original Rambo, Sly returns to Vietnam in the 80s, wins the war and proves the connection between the Soviets and the Vietcong. Being that this is the 21st century, it follows naturally that the present-day Rambo should go to Iraq, win the war on terror, and prove the connection between Iraq and 9/11. With a bow and arrow. Because his mother was Indian, remember?
But in this clip it's clear that he goes to Burma instead. Weak. They already tried that in Beyond Rangoon, and Aung San Suu Kyi's still in jail.
Anyway, he does behead a guy and rip out another guy's larynx, which is kind of sweet.
May 16 2007 First Official Shots from Rambo IV
My only reaction to these new shots from John Rambo was, "Yup. That's Rambo all right." Same guy, same mullet thing, a little older, but nothing really new. I don't know what I was hoping for, I'm just saying a glowing cybernetic eye goes a long way.
See more non-cyborg Rambo under the cut.
May 10 2007 ALL SEQUELS, ALL THE TIME!
"Quick, somebody beat it!"
If you're a big Hollywood exec, why take a chance on a new project? It's a safer bet to go with something that's already established and then milk that cow till it shits blood.
Here is just some of the sequel news that's floating around:
L.A. Confidential 2
Terminators 4-6
Step Up 2 [Ed. Note: Yeah, I hadn't heard of it either]
Pirates of the Caribbean 4
Fantastic Four 3
Superman 2 (or is it 6?)
Hostel 2
Shrek 4
Sin City 2
Indiana Jones 5
Harry Potter 6
Rambo 4
Lost Boys 2
And I'm sure I missed a few. I didn't even bother with spinoffs and remakes.
Mar 26 2007 First Shots of John Rambo
Returning to the role of John Rambo at age 60, Stallone still has that look of utter defiance in his face. Except now, instead of facing corrupt authority, he faces the cruel effects of time on his aging flesh. Will steroid-loaded arms and a mullet wig be enough to prove he's still got it? Or do the sag of his man-breasts mirror the drooping spirit of an old man so unable to come to terms with his age that he'll do any idiotic movie that lets him recreate characters of his youth? Probably the latter.
More candids from the set of John Rambo here.
Feb 21 2007 New Title for Rambo IV
In keeping with the theme of the latest Stallone movie title, Rocky Balboa, the new Rambo, first called Rambo IV: In the Serpent's Eye, later Rambo IV: Pearl of the Cobra has again been retitled to the more elegant John Rambo. Blockbuster managers, please alter all bargain bin DVD signage to reflect this change.
Jan 30 2007 Delta Farce Larry the Cable Guy Poster
Since when is a hillbilly in the army, or, more specifically, a "Redneck Rambo"...
1.) anomalous?
2.) funny?
This entire production fills me with rage.
Oct 9 2006 "Rambo IV" Title Sticks It To Snakes
To the excitement of 15 to 20 people, the title of Stallone's fourth venture as Vietnam veteran John Rambo has been announced. Now when someone asks you which of Sly's movies is the most desperate, you aren't stuck just saying the new Rocky Balboa. You can also add Rambo IV: In the Serpent's Eye. It may be that this title is a pathetic ploy to cash in on the popularity of snakes on planes, but it's also possible that ol' John Rambo is finally ready to give serpents the comeuppance they've so long had coming. In ya eye, bitches. In ya serpent's eye.
Aug 1 2006 Rambo IV Plot Has Depth
When you heard they were making a fourth Rambo movie, I bet you thought it was going to be another lame money-making attempt to squeeze the last blood out of First Blood with another two hours of Sylvester Stallone running around shirtless in a headband with an automatic firearm. Well, smart ass, you couldn't have been more wrong. I mean, I'm sure he's doing the gun and headband crap, but he's also leading a team of "young guns" that will appeal to today's youthful audiences!
So, the script that emerged -- a '"first draft"' Stallone has written with Art Monterastelli (The Hunted) -- finds Rambo living a monastic lifestyle in Bangkok and salvaging old PT boats and tanks for scrap metal. ("It's like he's stripping himself down," says the actor, pensively. "That old piece of military equipment.") When a group of volunteers bringing supplies into Burma disappears, a relative of one of the missing missionaries begs Rambo to find them. He heads off with a team of young guns, a plot point required by the financiers, who wanted to hedge against Rambo's possible mono-generational appeal.
They say they're worried about a mono-generational appeal, but shouldn't they really be more worried about a complete and utter lack of appeal? I've never met the person who saw Rambo 1 through 3 and felt there was a lot more story to tell. As if, as Rambo III came to a close, there was a guy saying, "Wait, why is he putting his shirt back on? That's it? I swear he had more guys to shoot. They'd better pick this one back up in a couple decades."
Come to think of, I've never even met the person who's seen Rambo 1 through 3 at all. I bet he has a lot of flashbacks.
Feb 8 2006 Rambo Coming Soon
The latest Sylvester Stallone rumor is that after Rocky 6, which already sounds like a stellar concept, he'll star in and possibly write and direct Rambo IV, saying:
It'll be back to back. After I am done with Rocky, I'll go straight with Rambo.
What's with Stallone making all these sequels to the glories of his youth? What's next, a movie recounting his prom night? There's only so long a man pushing sixty can remain a convincing killing machine. This guy needs to get over Rambo and Rocky and get back to whatever other movies he may have made. I think there was one about a cop city.
