Jun 2 2008 'Sex and the City' Seen by Many, Many Women
1. Sex and the City - $55.7 million--and they're spending it all on shoes! Here we go again!
2. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - $46 million, a drop in profit that reflects just how frightened the Indiana Jones fans were of the Sex and the City fans.
3. The Strangers - $20.7 million, falling short of the expectation that it would somehow beat two extremely well-known and popular franchises whose fans have waited years for a movie.
4. Iron Man - $14 million, with many re-watching the film to see the after-the-credits scene where Robert Downey Jr. rolls around in money laughing.
5. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - Families looking to avoid sex and violence turned to Prince Caspian, which only contains a couple scenes of an undead lion smiting non-believers, earning $13 million.
May 27 2008 'Indiana Jones' Whips Weekend Competition, Using His Famous Whip
1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - A dutiful sense of responsibility combined with the subconscious desire to kill your idols brought Indiana Jones to $126 million, nestling it at #2, between Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End and X-Men: The Last Stand, on the chart of Horribly Disappointing Memorial Day Weekend Sequels.
2. The Chronciles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - The substantial drop to $28.6 million is widely thought to be related to Prince Caspian's running theme of not being Indiana Jones.
3. Iron Man - $25.7 million, which is still a ton when you consider that this is its fourth week, and that the film frequently digresses into quoting Swingers.
4. What Happens in Vegas... - $11.1 million, making it the most profitable marketing slogan-based movie since Where's the Beef? 2.
5. Speed Racer - $5.2 million, which isn't that bad if you disregard that it cost $120 million to cover Earth in a pupil-wrecking CGI lacquer.
May 19 2008 'Prince Caspian' Tops Box Office, Awaits SNL Parody Song
1. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - "And it shall make $56.6 million" - Matthew 4:17
2. Iron Man - With a third weekend of $31.2 million, it seems like everyone has gone to seen this thing. So I'm going to go ahead and give away the ending: Arnold Schwarzenegger wins the competition.
3. What Happens in Vegas... - I'm glad a $13.9 million weekend kept this in the top five with Prince Caspian; it greatly improves our chances of seeing a What Happens in Narnia... parody.
4. Speed Racer - Go, Speed Racer, go! Please, someone go. Signed, the Wachowskis. ($7.6 million)
5. Baby Mama - Holding on to the top five for a fourth week with $4.5 million, Baby Mama may be small but it refuses to go away. Just like an actual baby.
Apr 23 2008 'Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' Trailer... #2!
In the world of the Pevensie siblings, it's been only a year since they traveled beyond the world of coat storage into the magical land of Narnia, but in the Christian-undertoned universe of talking lions, it's been 1,300. They find much is different: that bar with the dollar PBRs has raised its prices; the local Target is now a grocery-inclusive Super Target; the once-beautiful landscape is now a shit-storm of fantasy warfare, and the kids are forced to fight alongside a prince to help reclaim his throne. Things change, eh?
Watch the new action-heavy trailer for Prince Caspian--an attempt at proving it's totally as awesome as Lord of the Rings, even with Biblical allegory--under the cut.
Continue Reading " 'Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' Trailer... #2! "
Mar 5 2008 New 'Prince Caspian' Stills Reveal Terrifying Chimera
Y'know, I don't know if I want to see The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. I mean, really, what does it offer me? Oh, you say it has a horrifying hybrid of a Lord of the Rings orc, Ron Pearlman's Beauty and the Beast Beast, and the commander from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, guaranteed uncomfortable to look at? Count me in then!
Lots more new Prince Caspian shots here.
Jan 31 2008 AM Poster Post: 'Prince Caspian' Makes Good Money
The good thing about Chronicles of Narnia posters are that, once the movie is done, we can replace these faces with U.S. presidents and it would make a great new currency design. Switch the castle with the Capitol Building, too, but keep the lion, for the hell of it.
Jan 25 2008 'Prince Caspian' Adds Dreaminess, Smugness
You know what my biggest problem with the first The Chronicles of Narnia chapter was? Not enough luxuriously-haired teen heartthrobs. As will happen when watching a movie, my mind wandered to thoughts of "Why can't this be more like a fantasy-themed Tiger Beat?" With Prince Caspian, the second film in the series, it looks like they've corrected the issue, plus they've definitely added some satisfied smugness with this goat guy.
For those interested, more new Caspian shots here.
Dec 5 2007 'Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' Trailer
For the Pevensie siblings, only a year has passed, but in Narnia time (like dog years, but with Christian undertones) it's been nearly 1,300 years since the children last visited. Summoned by Prince Caspian, the kids return to the magical, talking-animal-filled world of Narnia to help the young heir claim his rightful place at the throne.
But much has changed since their last adventure. The fanciful places they once knew are now dank ruins. The rest of the world is now Lord of the Rings, with kids replacing digital pseudo-midgets, and with a talking lion. That's about it.
Continue Reading " 'Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' Trailer "
Sep 24 2007 'Prince Caspian' Creatures Combine Animal, Man
Showing all the inventiveness of a Ninja Turtle knock-off toy at a dollar store, Disney gave AICN a peek at concept art for new creatures to be seen in The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. If you're expecting something other than an animal combined in some way with a naked man, you're in for some disappointment. Is this as creative as the Narnia team can be, or is the series finally moving further in the furry fetish direction we've all been praying for?
Sep 18 2007 Caspian Teaser Poster Proves Prince Stole My Ivory Masturbator
Walt Disney pictures has just released the poster to the first Chronicles of Narnia sequel, Prince Caspian, with an image that finally confirms the foreign noble stole my pure ivory masturbator.
In this follow-up to The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, the Pevensie kids return to the magical realm of Narnia 1,300 years after their first adventure, giving Prince Caspian plenty of time to steal my expensive, engraved ivory pocket p****. Once there, the siblings find that King Miraz is attempting to off the rightful heir to the throne, known rare flesh-light thief, Prince Caspian. As I plan a return trip to Africa to find a tribesman capable of intricately engraving an elephant's severed tusk into something resembling a milky-white vaginal canal, Peter, Lucy, Susan and Edmund must find their friend Aslan to help defeat the evil Miraz. Will the kids save Prince Caspian and restore harmony to Narnia? Will they ever know the constant struggle of only finding sexual gratification through the slaughter of endangered species? Find out May 16!
'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian' Official One-Sheet [Cinematical]
