Nov 19 2009 Yet Another Movie Poster You Won't Believe Is Real (But It Is!)
Like Old Dogs, Crazy on the Outside is one of those rare, terminal illness-style films that shows up seemingly out of nowhere and is so shocking, so heinous, that I just can't believe--refuse to believe--no matter what the charts/posters say, can really be happening. How were there no symptoms, no articles in Variety? This is for real? Crazy on the Outside is incurable at this point in the marketing cycle? And Tim Allen DIRECTED it, too? I didn't even know such a thing could happen. It's going to take a while to come to terms with all this.
Also, how is J.K. Simmons on the poster but not Kelsey Grammer? Has Law & Order's Skoda somehow become a more popular psychiatrist than Frasier Crane? Oh, how the mighty have fallen, and been forced to star in half a season of Hank.
Crazy on the Outside Poster [ComingSoon]
Nov 18 2009 New 'Wolfman' Poster: Very Telling Cane Choice
If I were a wolfman, I would NEVER use a wolf cane. Or even if I'm not wolfman, if there's a wolfman issue going on locally, still not using a wolf cane. Casts too much suspicion on myself. If you're in an area with a werewolf, get yourself a cane with whatever the opposite of a wolf is on it. Maybe a toddler?
The Wolfman Poster 3 [IMPA]
Nov 18 2009 In French, 'Avatar' Looks a Lot More Made-for-TV Fantasy Miniseries-ish
The lack of John Rhys-Davies is all that's separating this from being a SyFy original called Effigy.
The French Poster for Avatar [ComingSoon]
Nov 17 2009 They Forgot To Put the Film's Name on the 'Salt' Poster
Oh, no, there it is.
Salt poster [JoBlo]
Nov 13 2009 'Leap Year' Poster: Monogamy Fickleness Sells
Apparently this poster takes place on top of the Knocked Up poster. Which is actually a surprisingly popular location. Nothing sells them tickets like the sensation you're staring into the glowing light of a nauseating green afterlife.
Nov 12 2009 'Alice in Wonderland' Poster: Smug Rabbit Destroys Fourth Wall
Yeah, yeah. I see your watch, asshole.
Nov 11 2009 'Kick-Ass' Poster Includes Dumpster Sittin'
He can't fly, but he does have the hair of Three's Company's Larry Dallas.
Nov 11 2009 Have You Seen These New Brett Ratner Movies?
There are so many good ones coming out.
Well done, Photoshopper. It's clear that more detail and craft are put into each of these than any of Brett Ratner's actual films (except possibly Money Talks).
(Thanks for tipstering, Matt.)
Nov 9 2009 'Extraodinary Measures' Poster Like a Magical Fusion of My Two Favorite Movies
Those two movies being Two Familiar Actors and Ghost Dads, obviously.
See the second Serious Dudes poster over at >Cinematical.
Nov 9 2009 'Slammin' Salmon' Poster AND Trailer??? YES
Good news if you like alliteration, fish, and The Green Mile flexing in an aura of wacky faces. There's this new movie from the Broken Lizard people that appears to have all of those things! Here's your trailer:
Continue Reading " 'Slammin' Salmon' Poster AND Trailer??? YES "
Nov 6 2009 Someone Finally Thought To Make Aliens Fight Ninjas
Specifically, the nation of Japan thought of that, opening the floodgates for Pirates vs. Predator, Zombies vs. Freddy, and Whatever Group Internet Culture Has Deemed Cool vs. Standard Versus Character.
This is the plot (the plot is basically ninjas fighting aliens):
Once upon a time in Japan, there was a band of great Ninja warriors led by Yamata called Iga Ninja. One day they witness a flash in the sky and a roaring giant ball of fire crashes into the distant forest. The warriors rush into the deep woods in an attempt to identify the mysterious fireball. There, instead of finding predictable enemies, they are stunned to face never-seen-before creatures with claws and fangs, the aliens! The hungry brutal aliens start to savage and feast on the Ninja warriors, leaving only a few to survive. Yamata and his warriors swear to avenge their comrades' deaths and risk their lives to challenge the aliens. However, none of the Ninja weapons, neither their swords nor their throwing stars, has any affect on the alien warriors. Now the Japanese greatest Iga Ninja face the biggest challenge ever!
Anyone else let down that the ninja weapons apparently have no effect on the aliens? If these ninjas aren't using swords or throwing stars, I'm not sure I care to see these ninjas. A ninja not using swords or throwing stars basically ceases to be a ninja (unless he's instead swinging nunchaku). That's just an asshole wearing a lot of black, fighting an alien.
Nov 6 2009 'Kick-Ass' Character Posters: Mom Disapproves
Mom is already asking the ticket guy to see a manager about these. "Why would anyone name a movie something so vile? Let alone print it on posters and hang it up for me to see! And children! Children could see this, when they only wanted to see a Shrek! It's offensive! It's just not right! (Sigh.) Something must be wrong in their heads."
Bigger versions that are even more distasteful here.
Nov 4 2009 'Clash of the Titans' Involves So Much Yelling
Even the disembodied heads and winged horses scream in this thing. The script must be all vowels and exclamation points.
More low-res Clash of the Titans posters here (thanks, Keno).
Nov 4 2009 'Green Zone' Poster: Classic Exasperated Damon
His expression is easier to read if you imagine he's on the street, and someone is shouting: "Hey! Matt! Matt Damon! I'm fucking Matt Damon! Hey! I'm fucking Matt Damon! You know, the song? I'm fucking Matt Damon! How about those apples? Hey, where's Ben? Ben Affleck. Where's Ben Affleck? Matt? Matt?"
New Green Zone Poster [Empire]
Oct 29 2009 'The Box' Poster: Cameron Diaz by Carnival Airbrush Artist
How did this happen? She looks like Ann from Arrested Development as a colorized prison tattoo.
New Poster For The Box [Empire]
Oct 28 2009 'How To Train Your Dragon' Poster: Classic White Void Comedy
His iron helmet caught on fire. That makes sense.
Oct 26 2009 'Sherlock Holmes' Poster: HOLMES FOR THE HOLIDAYS!
Bravo, tagline writers. "Holmes for the Holidays" is marginally better than "Have a Merry Christmystery!" or "Sher-Lox on a Bagel: Happy Hanukkah!" You did it.
Big version at Cinematical.
Oct 23 2009 'Invictus' One-Sheet: See the Poster Before It Wins the Oscars
Continuing the recent trend of airbrushed-on-the-back-of-a-jacket poster design, Clint Eastwood's Nelson Mandela + rugby film now has an official poster on Yahoo. I'm hoping this style eventually evolves into more of an embroidered-on-a-jacket look, so that I can have a good pattern for embroidering Matt Damon on the back of my jean jacket.
Oct 22 2009 'The Hole (in 3D)' Poster: The Hole That Makes Everyone Look Like a Snowboarder in the Ice King's Cave
Some sort of hole, eh? And one with visible depth, no less? Color me intrigued! This is totally going to be the best hole-themed hole kids' movie since Holes.
(Thanks to Tom for alerting me to this glorious film about a vague hole, and for sharing his enjoyment of Haley Bennett's mane of 3-D hair tendrils.)
Oct 22 2009 'Youth in Revolt' Poster: Meek Everlasting
This poster is definitely the closest we'll ever see to Michael Cera in Lolita. Because clearly it's impossible for Michael Cera to star as an older man, because he's a perpetual teenager, forever.
Behold our most nebbish immortal and feel his sorrow as he watches his mortal, more assertive friends and family die around him.
