Aug 14 2009 Opening This Weekend, in the Movie Theatres

So many movie choices this weekend, you'll feel even more miserable when you just stay inside eating Stouffer's French bread pizzas:

Bandslam
Director: Todd Graff
Starring: Alyson Michalka, Vanessa Hudgens, Gaelan Connell
Good if you want to see: that this wasn't just a bizarre nightmare you had when you passed out on your couch with the Disney Channel on--it's real!

The Time Traveler's Wife
Director: Robert Schwentke
Starring: Eric Bana, Rachel McAdams, Ron Livingston
Good if you want to see: time travel; monogamy; borderline pedophilia?

District 9
Director: Neill Blomkamp
Starring: Sharlto Copley, David James, Jason Cope, aliens!
Good if you want to see: apartheid with an alien twist; well-reviewed, grounded sci-fi; what this ninth district is all about.

Ponyo
Director: Hayao Miyazaki
Starring: A bunch of celebrity voices replacing the Japanese voices, making it less offensive to our stupid American ears.
Good if you want to see: I think there's like a fish who becomes a girl, and the ocean turns into giant fish? I don't know. I'm sure it's pretty good if you take a child who won't freak out at seeing a fish/girl hybrid.

Spread
Director:David Mackenzie
Starring: Ashton Kutcher, Anne Heche
Good if you want to see: an hour-and-a-half Nikon CoolPix commercial; who's been sending all your favorite Twitters.

The Goods
Director: Neal Brennan
Starring: Jeremy Piven, Ving Rhames, David Koechner, Ed Helms
Good if you want to see: Jeremy Piven being Jeremy Piven--now in a car sales environment!

Grace
Director: Paul Solet
Starring: Jordan Ladd, Samantha Ferris, Gabrielle Rose, a gross babything
Good if you want to see: a gross babything; flies.

Aug 3 2009 New 'Ponyo' Trailer: Such Adorable Utter Madness

A new trailer for Ponyo has been released, and it's a good thing I know director Hayao Miyazaki is an animation genius, responsible for such greats as Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke, or this more-complete preview might have got me thinking the film--which centers on a fish-with-a-human-head becoming human, a giant woman under the sea, and water coming to life in the form of fish--was a tad insane. Actually, now that I described it, that's unquestionably insane. But, because it's a Miyazaki, it's probably also a charming masterpiece.

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Jun 24 2009 'Ponyo' Trailer: Aquaman Meets Multiple Man Meets Little Freaky Dude Meets Fish

Hiyao Miyazaki is the man responsible for such animated classics as Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, and My Neighbor Totoro, so he's no stranger to making freakish creatures seem endearing. This summer, he'll continue that tradition as he asks us to fall in love with a weird little sea monkey of a freak--a child-like, aquatic mutant apparently able to replicate itself and ride on magic fish--as we behold it's struggle to save this unbalanced world. I guess it's sort of an amphibious Jesus:

Continue Reading " 'Ponyo' Trailer: Aquaman Meets Multiple Man Meets Little Freaky Dude Meets Fish "