Nov 19 2009 'New Moon' and Other Non-Abstinence-Vampire Films Open This Weekend
Films for those with an unnatural obsession with Robert Pattinson and those without such an affliction hit theaters this weekend. Here are your options:
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
Director: Chris Weitz
Starring: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner
Good if you want to see: you know full well exactly what this is. You can stop pretending.
Planet 51
Director: Jorge Blanco, Javier Abad
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Seann William Scott, Jessica Biel
Good if you want to see: a Twilight Zone-esque "it turns out man is the alien!" concept mixed with E.T. and crammed into the broad, animated family comedy mold; the cast of The Rundown vocally reunited for some reason
The Blind Side
Director: John Lee Hancock
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Quinton Aaron
Good if you want to see: Sandra Bullock forcing her way through a Southern accent to show how rich, white, trophy wives are capable of changing the lives of a poor, black kid if the kid is giant enough to be good at football; the exchange, "You're changin' that boy's life," "No... he's changin' mine" (oof!); an explanation for the shot in the trailer where the biological son and foster son are high-fiving over a table covered in assorted condiments (if you find that out, please tell me personally)
Broken Embraces (limited)
Director: Pedro Almodóvar
Starring: Penélope Cruz
Good if you want to see:an Almodóvar film. If you're into his stuff, go for it; if not, don't. If you don't know, see Talk to Her or something first, OK?
Red Cliff (limited)
Director: John Woo
Starring: Tony Leung Chiu Wai, Tekeshi Kaneshiro, other names you probably won't recognize
Good if you want to see: some huge battles between old fashioney Chinese warriors; some warlords and generals talking with subtitles to explain why all these huge battles keep happening
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (limited)
Director: Werner Herzog
Starring: Nicolas Cage, Eva Mendes
Good if you want to see: who know what you'll see in a semi-remake of Bad Lieutenant directed by Werner Herzog and starring Nicolas Cage (besides the imaginary iguanas seen in the trailer)? It's probably going to be pretty strange, though.
Sep 25 2009 'Planet 51' Poster: Aliens WOULD Have a Slightly Different Font on Their Slightly Misshapen Newspapers
To have such a implicitly John Goodman alien character not voiced by John Goodman is criminal. Criminal!
'Planet 51' Poster [IMPA]
Jul 2 2009 'Planet 51' Trailer: The Plot to 'E.T.' is on the Other Foot
We've all seen E.T..* We know what happens when an alien accidentally finds itself stranded on Earth: a boy tends to him, the government tries to capture him, and then the audience cries. But what if that alien were MAN??? And instead of Earth, it were PLANET SHREK! What then?
Basically the same thing, but with more broad comedy and generic characters:
Continue Reading " 'Planet 51' Trailer: The Plot to 'E.T.' is on the Other Foot "
Apr 1 2009 MOM, IT'S SHREKS!!!! I WANNA SEE FOUR SHREKS!!!!
My sympathies go out to all the theater workers who will be hearing that for the next several months. In actuality, this poster is for Planet 51, a family-oriented, computer-animated comedy about some green, antennaed...
Yeah, I guess it's sort of Four Shreks.
Planet 51 Poster [IMPA]
Jan 16 2009 'Planet 51' Trailer Combines...
...the pop-culture-laden, celebrity-voiced green-creature-filled world of Shrek, the space traveler in suburbia scenario of Suburban Commando, and the outsider invading the idyllic '50s neighboorhood-ness of Pleasantville? I think that works.
