May 14 2009 'Nine' Trailer: Some Babes Dancing Around Daniel Day-Lewis
Hey, there's this now: a trailer for Nine. No, not numeral 9, the animated, post-apocalyptic ragdoll film that looks so promising--this is spelled-out Nine, a new film by Chicago director Rob Marshall that, to the untrained eye, looks basically like Chicago with mostly better actors. (To my untrained eye, anything with burlesque musical numbers is some kind of variant of Chicago.)
So here it is, Chicago 2:
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Dec 31 2008 'G-Force' Trailer: Talking Guinea Pigs This Time
So many great people in this--Will Arnett, Zach Galifianakis, Tracy Morgan, Sam Rockwell, Bill Nighy, Steve Buscemi--yet it still comes off as a poor attempt at Alvin and the Chipmunks-izing Disney's Rescue Rangers. Every day for like two years, some guy went home to his wife every night and gave her news like, "I got the Nicolas Cage mole's mouth to move more in sync today," and, "I've almost tweaked the Penelope Cruz guinea pig to look oddly sexual when she sashays, even though she still has the body of a guinea pig," just so we could have this:
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Jun 18 2008 New 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' Trailer Has Studio Audiences Shouting "Wheeeeeeeeew!"
Woody Allen's celebrity Cinemax movie, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, has a new trailer--a series of clips that make it more and more clear that the auteur has filled the holes in his recently-spotty catalogue with much-needed girl kissin'. The trailer may also have some of Allen's famous repartee, but who can tell?
Jun 17 2008 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' Poster Makes No Mention of Notable Director, Girl-on-Girl Kissing
Yeah, don't make it obvious that this is a Woody Allen film. Who's that guy anyway? No need to mention him in any prominent way. But do mention that "life is the ultimate work of art," because that's the kind of meaningless, motivational poster statement that really sells a movie. That's why Iron Man was marketed primarily under the taglines, "You are what you dream" and "Teamwork."
'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' Poster Premiere [Cinematical]
May 13 2008 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona' Trailer: Woody Allen Does Sexy
Like a primetime soap opera nearing sweeps, Woody Allen's latest, Vicky Cristy Barcelona, is full of torrid affairs and girl-on-girl kissing, and he's not above exclusively promoting those aspects in the new trailer. Thankfully, unlike a primetime soap, you won't feel that pathetic watching since the people are actually notable good-lookers; namely, Penelope Cruz, Scarlett Johansson, and Javier Bardem. Now the only hurdle standing between you and enjoyment is the thought of the leering, 72-year-old man behind the camera.
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Jan 21 2008 Some Other Crap That Happened...
- Penelope Cruz will lend her voice to G-Force, playing an animated, super-intelligent guinea pig named Juarez. If they base the character's look on her, Juarez has the potential to replace both Minnie Mouse and Jerry in Drag as my top animated rodent crush. [Hollywood Reporter]
- Ryan Gosling is reportedly playing the role of Jack Ryan--the Tom Clancy-created character portrayed famously by Alec Baldwin and Harrison Ford, and later by Ben Affleck--in an upcoming film, but it won't be based on one of Clancy's novels. How is the Clancipedia supposed to put together a legitimate canon if Hollywood is going to keep throwing out this kind of bullshit? [Moviehole]
- It sounds like Josh Brolin will be playing George W. in the aptly-titled Bush, Oliver Stone's planned biopic on the president. After all the times he corrected Mikey, it will be good to hear Brand making some verbal faux pas for once. [Variety]
- The Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull trailer will air on Entertainment Tonight on Valentine's Day, giving us dweebs our only shot at any gratification for the holiday. [CHUD]
Jul 16 2007 The Good Night Trailer
I'll give it to you straight here: I have man-crushes on Martin Freeman and Simon Pegg because of The Office and Shaun of the Dead, and a regular crush on Penelope Cruz because of looking amazing even if slightly mousy, so their presence makes me really want to see this hokey dramedy. Plus it's written and directed by Gwyneth Paltrow's brother Jake, so it's got nepotism going for it too.
