Sep 11 2009 'Takers' Trailer: These Guys Have Such Explosion Apathy They Must Be Awesome
Did all the cut-and-pasted heads on the Takers poster get you super worked up to see why Hayden Christensen was dressed up like a high-class rude boy? Of course it did. And now you can sate that desire with this trailer for the generic heist film.
In the film, The Wire's Idris Elba leads a crew of rappers (T.I.), singing domestic abusers (Chris Brown), Jedi (Christensen), and Paul Walkers (Paul Walker) in the robbery of somewhere between $25 and $30 million. But it won't be easy: Matt Dillon is on the case to stop them! I doubt he does, though. Have you seen this heist crew? They casually walk away from exploding helicopters! That's the criterion for bad-ass dudes. At least until someone comes up with something even more awesomely dangerous to nonchalantly stroll away from. Maybe a Tyrannosaurus holding a samurai sword?
Continue Reading " 'Takers' Trailer: These Guys Have Such Explosion Apathy They Must Be Awesome "
Sep 10 2009 'Takers' Poster, Or Possibly Still From 'Takers' Hip Hop Video
Rat Pack '09, everyone! And just in time for Halloween. Dibs on being Smug Turd Skywalker. You can be Paul Walker wearing a turtleneck under a dress shirt.
The Poster for Takers [Coming Soon]
Feb 16 2009 'Fast & Furious' Poster, with: Michelle, Paul, Vin, Jordana, and ME--the Car!
This poster gives me a good idea for the next Fast/Furious adventure: the car should be a sentient character, and it helps the rest of the group solve mysteries. Basically, it would be Speed Buggy with Vin Diesel. Or, if you think that strays too far from the foundations of the Fast/Furious franchise, how about we just make Speed Buggy with Vin Diesel then? It would have to do at least as well as The Pacifier.
The New Fast & Furious One-Sheet! [Coming Soon]
Jan 16 2009 'Fast and Furious' Trailer Balances Speed and Fury
Watching Vin Diesel act makes me really wish I could cast him in a Disney comedy called The Most Petulant Buffoon. That said, this trailer is a good instructional for what to do if the flaming trailer of an oil truck is rolling towards you, and you're in this really awesome car:
Continue Reading " 'Fast and Furious' Trailer Balances Speed and Fury "
Dec 22 2008 'Fast & Furious' Poster is Reasonably Fast & Furious, I Guess
The way I see it, there are three ways to interpret this poster:
1. The cast of Fast & Furious are standing in the desert, in front of a car, and are being reflected in its hood.
2. Someone got overly excited after the original Fast and the Furious and ran to their local airbrush artist to regrettably de-value their car.
3. An anthropomorphic car is reminiscing about its times on the set of The Fast and the Furious, which is shown through a cartoon shorthand similar to when dollar signs appear in someone's eyes.
It's probably meant to be the first one, but I think the third would be good as a scene in Cars 2.
Check Out The New Teaser Poster From ‘Fast & Furious’! [MTV]
Aug 25 2008 '4ast 4 4ourious (Four)' Trailer
God, gas prices, am I right? Sometimes it's like you've got to get Vin Diesel and his crew, drive out to the Dominican Republic, and find some highly improbable way to steal a fully loaded gasoline land train, assuming such a thing exists. Right?
I hope Vin later tackles how airport security is so crazy. Like by driving a car through the metal detector.
Jun 24 2008 'Fast and Furious' Stars Attempt the Risky DRIVE FIVE
How much faster and furiouser is Fast and Furious compared to previous Fast and the Furiouses? So fast and furious as to attempt a DRIVE FIVE! (A high five while driving past someone.) So rad.
In addition to the above shot and a couple more, USA Today has some quotes from returning stars Vin Diesel and Paul Walker, such as Vin's explanation for returning to the tired franchise:
"I saw how people related to the characters' stories as much as the cars and action."
That's not true, but OK.
Apr 15 2008 'Fast and the Furious 4' Finally Gets Its Ridiculous Title
Guess which it is! I assure you, however infeasible, it really is one of these:
4 Fast 4 Furious
The 4ast and the 4urious
2 Fast 2 Furious²
The Fast and the Furious Xtreme 480
The Fast and the Furious: 4 on da 4loor
The Fastest and Furiousest
The Fast and the Furious: 4tean Drift (ghost cars are somehow involved)
2 Fast + 2 Furious = 4Ever
The Fast and the Furious 4: Now with Vin Diesel Again!
Fast and Furious
And the answer is...
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Oct 3 2007 Diesel, Walker 2 B N Fast, Furious 4?
Hollywood Reporter claims Vin Diesel and Paul Walker, stars of the original Fast and the Furious, will be reprising their roles in the fourth chapter of the epic adjective saga. Here are the reasons this is believable or unbelievable:
BELIEVABLE:
- The Hollywood Reporter is a (relatively) respected trade source.
- Vin Diesel needs something to do until someone writes a Pacifier sequel or until the next chronicle of Riddick.
- Paul Walker needs something to do while Thomas Jane takes his roles.
UNBELIEVABLE:
- The Fast and the Furious and its sequels are stupid. (This could go under either category.)
- Starring in a bad movie, leaving the series, then returning after its worse is equivalent to dating a disgusting girl, dumping her, then begging for her back after she's gotten fatter, uglier, and has dated several schlubs. We've all done it, but it's frowned upon. (Again, this could probably go in either category.)
- Hollywood Reporter's image of prospective star Vin Diesel (above) looks suspiciously like American Idol's Chris Daughtry. (UPDATE: It appears they have removed the image in question.)
Regardless of the stars, the trade did have one more valuable piece of information to share:
The story line is being kept under wraps, but fast cars are involved.
Whew!
2 veteran drivers on 'Fast' track [Hollywood Reporter]
