Aug 18 2009 'Castlevania' Almost News: Movie to Include Basic Game Elements!

Breathe a sigh of relief, Castlevania fans. Speaking about the long-planned film adaptation of the video game, Paul W.S. Anderson (producer on the project and director of horrible video game adaptations like Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil) said Saw's James Wan is currently working on "tweaking the script" to direct at some point in the future, and, more importantly, revealed that the adaptation will contain the most very basic elements that make up Castlevania:

“There’ll be the whip and there’ll be creatures,” Anderson said, referring to Simon Belmont’s weapon of choice and the mythical beasts he battles as he makes his way through Dracula’s castle in the original video game.

A whip and creatures!? This thing is already as accurate as the Castlevania Tiger hand-held game! I'll keep you updated if I hear news about the possible inclusion of a Dracula or any sort of castle-like structure.

Aug 18 2008 Paul W.S. Anderson Not Making 'Spy Hunter' Because He's Reached Mankind's Car Movie Zenith

Some time ago, it was announced that Paul W.S. Anderson would be directing an adaptation of the 1983 arcade game Spy Hunter. This was a bad idea for two main reasons: 1) Paul W.S. Anderson directed Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil. After Uwe Boll, he's the guy most-likely responsible when you see a horrible movie based on a video game, and he is awful. 2) From what I remember, Spy Hunter's gameplay was based entirely on driving a car, shooting other cars, and occasionally turning your car into a boat. That was also the entire plot, ranking it just above Tapper in terms of potential movie adaptability (because this could be better than Coyote Ugly).

Now, speaking to Latino Review, Anderson has hinted that he's no longer on the project. Not because he realized it's a terrible, terrible idea; it's just that he's already made the best car movie ever, past or future:

Latino Review: Does [Death Race, your upcoming movie with cars locked in a heated death race] prepare you to do another [car film] like Spy Hunter?

Anderson: I had some what fun making this movie and I firmly believe this is the best, most spectacular car action I've ever seen in a film, I don’t know if I’ll ever do another car movie after this, because I really feel like we pushed it to the max and the only other car movie I’ll do is maybe a sequel to this, knock on wood, if this movie does well enough to deserve that, I really think we’ve kind of raised the bar when it comes to car action….we’ve done everything practical, we’ve done spectacular stunts, we’ve kept it R rated, really hard, we’ve had the actors do a lot of their own driving, so you know, I think we’ve really maxed our car movie, so I think we’ve laid down a challenge to any one else, I think we’re now the movie to beat.

Sorry, Bullitt, you should have had more flame throwers on your cars.

Jun 3 2008 'Death Race' Photos (Cars with Guns on Them, Plus Hot Woman and Jason Statham)

/Film has a set of 17 new photos from Paul W.S. Anderson's remake of Death Race. Or it may be the new Gone in 60 Seconds 2028. Or The Fast and the Post-Apocalyptic. It doesn't matter, really, because give or take a Diesel or a Cage, we're talking about the exact same awful film.

Dec 28 2007 First Look at 'Death Race' (or, Jason Statham's Head Pasted in a Car)

When re-telling the story of a cross-country car race with the goal of hitting civilians--a tale originally interesting only for its absurdly kitschy concept and the inclusion of Sylvester Stallone and David Carradine--you need to find someone who will do it justice. In other words, the campiest modern director you can find.

Paul W.S. Anderson--director of Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil, and Alien vs. Predator--definitely fits the bill, and should provide more than enough eye-rolling moments to make this worth ironically watching when we look back in twenty years. If bearing one more preposterous W.S. Anderson film means providing another generation with terrible movies to gather together and mock, I, for one, am willing to throw myself in front of this flame-thrower-equipt car. For the children.

P.S. Something I ate is having a terrible, terrible argument with my innards, so this is it until the new year. See you in the future.

First Look: Death Race [/Film]