Mar 25 2008 'Superhero Movie' Clip Worse Than Even Expected
Man oh man. I didn't have extremely high hopes for Superhero Movie, but this brief clip really put the final nail in that lazy parody of a coffin. Tracy Morgan, "[Genre] Movie" mainstay Regina Hall, and even Pamela Anderson phone in their performances in a scene that has the pacing and comedic depth of a college improv game. So much forced, unnecessary violence, shouting, and conflict--and a sudden departure that's excused with the line, "Yeah, whatever. I'm outta here." What, was "Invisi-bitch" her exit word?
I guess this is what happens when you write a script based on who's available to make cameos (at clearly different times). Though it is pretty funny when they refer to Pamela Anderson as a "girl".
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Feb 27 2008 How Many Jokes Can You Cram on the 'Superhero Movie' Poster?
Let's count!
1. Simon Rex's equivalent of The Human Torch has caught himself on fire. See, traditionally The Human Torch has the power to manipulate fire at will. Why would he catch himself on fire?!
2. Wolverine is using said fire to roast marshmallows--on his claws! One would normally use a device that is not part of their mutant anatomy, like a long fork that doesn't come out of your wrist.
3. Leslie Nielsen's shirt says "With great power comes hot bitches"; the actual Spider-Man quote is "With great power comes great responsibility." This is funny because it's like a BustedTee, which are always funny.
4. Wolverine's middle claw is slightly longer than the other two. Those familiar with gestural expletives will love this one.
5. Storm is surprised she's electrocuting Professor X's penis.
6. The Cerebro helmet Professor X wears to focus his psychic powers is being used as a drink hat, an established comic prop. And he's black.
7. Though not explicitly laid out, the maturity of the rest of the gags imply Dragonfly guy probably has his penis in the popcorn. And he's giving Pamela Anderson a wet willy, which is sort of a joke if you're 8 and disgusting.
8. Pamela Anderson wears a necklace that says "Dynamic Duo". This term is synonymous with fictional crimefighters Batman and Robin, but holds a lewder meaning when balanced across Anderson's un-aging cleavage.
9. The unfortunate participation of all these desperate actors.
Did I miss any? It's hard for me to see them with my eyes squinted in unending laughter.
'Superhero Movie' Poster Premiere [Cinematical]
Feb 26 2008 Pam Anderson Shows 1/3-1/2 of Breasts for 'Superhero Movie'
From Superhero Movie, an obvious parody of the superhero genre, comes the first shot of Pamela Anderson's Invisible Woman, a parody of an attractive woman.
Look below the cut for another new character for the film, who looks just as suspiciously like an old character played by a different actress.
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Jan 30 2008 'Blonde and Blonder' Clip Invents Pornless Porn Genre
As any ardent comedy-porn fan knows, the only thing that makes the negligible plot, clichéd characters, and goofy, seemingly improvised comedy based on how hot yet oblivious the girls are tolerable is the knowledge that a graphic sex scene is sure to follow. So, I ask, if the Pamela Anderson/Denise Richards vehicle Blonde and Blonder has all of these elements except the sex, what is the point of this film, outside of nearly fulfilling some distant, decade-old fantasy of mine? If you thought unnatural aging and Hepatitis had already sapped all of Pamela Anderson's desirability, watch this clip--it turns out she had some left to lose.
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