Jan 11 2008 'One Missed Call' Is One of the Worst Movies Ever
Many, many, many terrible movies come out each year--some even go on to make over $200 million and earn a sequel with "the girls"--but few reach the ultimate shit pinnacle of a 0% rating on RottenTomatoes.com. It's the film review world's equivalent to every student in your school refusing to sign your yearbook--there is simply nothing positive to be said about you, and no one cares if you ever change or have a gr8 summer.
Yet, somehow, (probably through its bland, derivative concept and awful execution) One Missed Call, the story of people receiving voicemails that play their final moments of life (then they die a few days later), has managed to receive absolutely no praise in any of its 52 aggregated reviews. It's an anti-honor that has been given to only a select, severely detestable group: Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever, Roberto Benigni's Pinocchio, King's Ransom, Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, National Lampoon's Gold Digges, and Crossover. It's a feat, to say the least.
Let's just hope this doesn't deter any future movie-makers from delving into the fertile territory of the modern-technology-that-forecasts-brutal-death genre. Don't give up yet; we haven't even gotten to the point of a two-way-centric version (Beep. Talk. Die.?) If we advance to the level of holograms but don't make a movie about holograms murdering us, all of this technology is virtually impotent.
Also, does anyone want to see this with me this weekend?
One Missed Call Reviews [Rotten Tomatoes]
Jan 7 2008 Weekend Box Office: 'National Treasure' Again?
1. National Treasure: Book of Secrets - $20.2 million more to the best Nicolas Cage movie since his last piece of shit.
2. I Am Legend - Yeah, I know you're legend, Will Smith. Have another $16.3 million and shut up about it.
3. Juno - Wait, it made $16.2 million and beat Alvin and the Chipmunks? It's almost as if good taste and logic have persevered over an irrational love for creepy singing chipmunks.
4. Alvin and the Chipmunks - $16 million, because there's still an irrational love for creepy singing chipmunks.
5. One Missed Call - Being the only new release, and playing off the nation's collective phobia of possibly missing a single call, helped it bring in $13.5 million.
Weekend Box Office [Box Office Mojo]
Sep 24 2007 'One Missed Call' Poster is MotoKRZY!
From ShockTillYouDrop, here's the poster for One Missed Call, another horror movie where a piece of exciting modern technology foretells the deaths of attractive people. In this case, the technology is mobile phone voicemail and the people are Shannyn Sossamon, whose friends were killed after the calls, and Ed Burns as the only detective who believes her. I expect by the end we'll realize Burns is the killer and that the entire film was a actually a long commercial for T-Mobile's myFaves when we learn through a brief Catherine Zeta-Jones cameo, "it turns out the only way to own a mobile phone and avoid being murdered is by getting free calls to your five favorite people, all with the same fantastic coverage and customer service you've come to expect."
The One Missed Call Poster! [ShockTillYouDrop]
