Nov 21 2008 Bond Girl Has Betrayed Soviet Party
The Communist Party of St. Petersburg has expressed outrage at actress Olga Kurylenko for assisting "the killer of of hundreds of Soviet people and their allies." Wait, I'm sorry, that's not right. They're upset that Kuylenko played a movie character who assisted another movie character who has killed Soviet people in movies. From Yahoo:
The Ukrainian actress, who plays a Bolivian secret agent opposite Daniel Craig's 007 in "Quantum Of Solace", has also gained ire of the Communist Party of St. Petersburg, which in an open letter on its website condemned her for aiding "the killer of hundreds of Soviet people and their allies." The group's statement describes 007 as "a man who worked for decades under the orders of Thatcher and Reagan to destroy the USSR."
God, so true. When will Bond be tried for his Cold War crimes? Here's another good point:
Sergei Malenkovich, head of the party's regional organization, further elaborated ... arguing the movie wanted "to show that a Ukrainian girl sleeps with an American. It's a part of information and psychological war." Never mind that Kurylenko's character does not sleep with 007 in the film or that James Bond is, in fact, not American but British.
Whups, time to get a fact checker, Sergei. Or maybe watch the movie. Still, valid points.
Don't worry about the Bond actress, though. Kurylenko's soul is still not beyond saving. She can redeem herself to her people. SO LONG AS SHE BRINGS IN DANIEL CRAIG FOR QUESTIONING!
Her supposed betrayals will be forgiven, the group promised in its statement, if the actress delivers her co-star Craig to the Russian secret service. "Let him tell what other plans are being written in the Pentagon and Hollywood to discredit Russia and drive a wedge between the Russian and Ukrainian peoples."
"We have a few questions for you, Mr. [actor who played] Bond. Will Boris and Natasha ever capture moose and squirrel? Why will Rocky not consent to a rematch with Ivan Draco? That sun-powered guy from Superman IV--that was supposed to be us, right?"
"I don't know, guys. I'm just an actor playing a part."
"No, Mr. Bond, you're... will die!"
Personally, I'm still pissed at the guy who played Boba Fett for playing any role where he would assist Darth Vader. You know how many innocent people that guy killed on Alderaan alone? Actor who played Boba Fett, you're a disgrace to have assisted Vader in the capture of Han Solo. Not to mention sleeping with him.
(Thanks to Justin, who points out, "Playing a Russian hooker in Hitman is apparently an acceptable communist job but an international spy is not.")
Sep 24 2008 Final 'Quantum of Solace' Poster Takes It to Mars
First Earth's moon, now Mars. Bond is going to fuck up every celestial body we've got.
Quantum of Solace Poster [IMPA]
Sep 10 2008 New 'Quantum of Solace' Trailer is Pure Awesome Things
About a month ago, when the Death Race trailer came out, I offhandedly mentioned to my roommate how bad it looked. He asked what happens in it, and my response was something like, "I don't know. It's just Jason Statham driving around in a car with guns, and some other guys are attacking him in their rival cars with flamethrowers and spikes."
Him: "That sounds kind of awesome."
Me: "Yeah, as I was describing it I was thinking how that sounded kind of awesome too. But it's actually not. Trust me."
My point is, this trailer for Quantum of Solace succeeds where that failed because, when I describe all the jumping and shooting and driving motorcycles over things, it actually will be because it's awesome, and that's a surprisingly rare feat in a world where that should always be pretty awesome. It also succeeds where the Death Race trailer failed in that it's not a trailer for Death Race. So watch it.
Continue Reading " New 'Quantum of Solace' Trailer is Pure Awesome Things "
Jun 30 2008 Trailer for 'Quantum of Solace' (The New Bond Movie That Takes Place on the Surface of the Moon)
I've had trouble getting things (internets) working all morning, but things (internets) seem to be OK now, so here's the trailer to the Quantum of Solace, the latest chapter of the Bond series that picks up right where the last one left off: with punching dudes and laying some girls.
Apr 4 2008 Image: 'Quantum of Solace' Stars... a Beautiful Model/Actress?!
USA Today has some new photos of Bond, his villain, and his disposable woman to accompany their lengthy article on the upcoming Quantum of Solace. And with them comes good news for those who have let the thought of Bondian sloppy seconds detract from their enjoyment of the ladies: Bond doesn't even "do" this one! But that doesn't mean vicarious sex lovers will be left out in the cold. Rest assured, the articles also confirms that the spy does bed several other undisclosed women.
James Bond series takes a 'Quantum' leap [USA Today]
Jan 25 2008 First Shots of 'Quantum of Solace' Cast
Even though the title to Bond 22 was just released, these detailed-yet-creepy wax recreations of the stars clearly took months to construct. They even nailed the classic Bond sandwich pose.
More press shots here.
Jan 8 2008 Bond Girl Officially Named, Quickly Effed By Bond
Of all the credentials a young actress can add to her burgeoning resume, few are as strangely-coveted as being crowned Bond's next film-f***. For months, speculation has run rampant as to who would be next be sacrificed to the loins of Daniel Craig, but at last we have an answer in Olga Kurylenko, who you recently saw in Hitman, if you saw Hitman for some reason. The casting process, per usual, followed the same stringent guidelines given to Poison roadies when finding groupies to bring back to the bus: Just make sure she's hot--and no trannies.
Gemma Arterton, previously rumored for the "Bond Girl" role, will instead be playing Agent Fields, head of selling cookies in malls.
Kurylenko lands lead in Bond film [Variety]
